The drop was thick and full, and remained in its orbed form for a moment before sliding off the side. And then there was another thick raindrop. And another. And another. With increased frequency.
Hazel looked over at Eve, who had popped up from her chair but was surprisingly not yet covering her hair. Silas had his face up toward the clouds.
A booming rumble of thunder filled the air.
“You girls ready for this?”
“Ready for wha—” A great crack of lightning lit up the sky and the great moody lake beneath it. Eve yelped but then pulled back into silence.
“Ready for a real Grandor rainstorm?” Silas said calmly.
Within seconds, the rain unleashed itself with a sudden burst of intensity. The ragged sheets of rain covered the chairs, and the trees, and the fire, and their bodies.
Eve yelped again, but this time with more excitement than anxiety. And then she spread her arms out and let the rain fall all over her. Drenching her clothes and her hair. And then she lay down in the grass and let the rain fall all over her some more.
Hazel looked over at Silas. Perhaps for permission to join. But perhaps just because it was becoming an instinct to look up at him when she felt uncertain of anything. Anything at all.
Silas shrugged and then joined Eve on the ground with his head near Eve’s and his feet out in the opposite direction. And then Hazel did the same. It was dark but the moon was bright and Hazel could turn her head to either side to find Eve and Silas enjoying the rain. Her sister and her father enjoying the rain.
Hazel closed her eyes and listened to the clicking sound of big wobbling raindrops hitting the roof.
And then out of the peace, Hazel felt Eve’s hand on hers, squeezing it tight. Hazel opened one eye to look over at Eve, but Eve’s eyes were still closed. Hazel gave it a squeeze right back and then she felt Silas take her other hand. It had caused their arms and shoulders to touch and it sent a chill all the way down Hazel’s spine.
She could feel his imminence. The fullness of his attention. His love. And Eve’s, too.
Hazel considered that this unexpected access to unadulterated happiness, this surprising feeling of boundless tenderness for someone else seemingly out of nowhere, must be what it was like to have a real family.
Even though it was raining, she wanted to stay out there forever.
25
Eventually, Hazel, Silas and Eve returned to the shelter of the house. The sound of the screen door slamming could barely be made out against the backdrop of the still-pounding rain. Hazel realized she was short of breath from the rush of it all. The darkness. The rain. The togetherness. She could feel the quick pulse of her heart and her lungs filling and then deflating. She noticed Silas’s and Eve’s chests rising and falling, as well. They, too, were feeling the rush of it all.
Three distinct puddles had already formed on the wood floor beneath each of their feet, a result of their dripping clothes.
“Let me get us some towels,” Silas said as he pulled his soaking wet T-shirt over his head.
Silas’s chest and shoulders were slippery from the rain. Small beads of water had collected on the tips of Silas’s curled chest hair. A few droplets were streaming down his chest onto his abdomen. Hazel could just make out Silas’s musculature beneath the thick skin of his belly. His slightly protruding belly only made him appear more manly, more capable. He then stepped out of his shorts, leaving him in just his tight black boxers for a moment. He dropped his saturated clothing onto the floor with a heavy thud and then turned toward the hallway. His thighs were trunk-like and solid and bulged as he walked away to get the towels.
“Ah, that was fun,” Hazel said to Eve as she ran her fingers through her hair.
Eve had her head tilted to the side and her long wet hair was dripping next to her. Eve’s wet white T-shirt had become see-through, hugging the contour of her breasts and her black bra. Hazel turned away bashfully as she felt her cheeks begin to get hot.
“Ugh, is my mascara running?” Eve had reinserted herself into Hazel’s view, now with her belly exposed as she wrung out the front of her T-shirt. Eve never had any shame about her body. She was always so carefree about exposing her belly button, or hip or breasts or collarbones, but she was always paranoid about her makeup.
Hazel wondered what Eve thought a face revealed that a body did not.
“Hello! Earth to Hazel!” Eve snapped her fingers in front of her Hazel’s face. “Well, is it?”
“Who cares?” Hazel replied and giggled a bit.
Eve smiled and giggled a bit, too. And then nudged Hazel with her hip.
It was so easy to crack Eve’s demanding exterior. And Hazel was delighted about how quickly she could do it. How confident she had become.
Silas returned with a towel around his waist and one more for each of his daughters.
“All right, you two, I’m hitting the hay.” He tossed the towels firmly their way. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Hazel and Eve wrapped the big towels around their dripping clothes and walked toward their room, leaving watery footprints on their way.
“I call first shower!” Eve shouted and picked up her pace. Her legs were constricted by the towel, turning her attempted run into a straight-legged shuffle.
“Of course you do,” Hazel muttered with feigned annoyance and allowed Eve to disappear down the hallway into their room.
Hazel maintained her lackadaisical stride, turning her head side to side and observing the old and creaking walls of the hallway. They were starting to feel like her walls. Walls she liked living between.
* * *
Hazel stepped into an already steamy bathroom to take her turn for a shower. She undressed, left her clothes in a sopping pile on the tiled floor and stepped into the spray. As the warm water washed over her body, she became aware of how cold the rain had been against her skin and hair. Cold water flowed from her hair, replaced by the warm stream of water from the showerhead. She closed her eyes and let the water wash over her. Hazel was warmed inside and out. She felt satisfied and safe. Comfortable and happy.
It had been so long since she had felt those things back at home. So long since she had participated in family life.
Hazel had a sense that many girls her age had chosen to recoil from family life. She had a sense that one day they came home from school and decided to reject their life and home and look to something bigger. She had a sense they looked to friends, or boyfriends, or places far away. That one day they yearned to leave their home and their parents and their younger selves behind. That it happened without consequence.
But this feeling was forced onto Hazel as soon as Cam walked into her home. It was the day that she started to feel as if she were watching her life rather than being a part of it. That her home shifted from hers to Cam’s. That Jane shifted from being hers to Cam’s. That everything she built and loved had been lost. She would sit at the dinner table with them and watch as they talked and ate. There was a time that felt like long ago now in which she wanted so badly to get back inside those dinners, to get back inside her life. But she learned over time that she couldn’t. Something impenetrable had been built. And, whether it was on purpose or not, Cam and the twins had built it. It wasn’t this way in the beginning with Cam, but it was the reality now.