Hazel pushed the question down and skulked away.
When Hazel got upstairs to the bedroom, Eve was already tucked into her bed in the dark with the glow of her cell phone emanating near her face. Hazel thought better than to turn the lights on and slipped into bed.
She checked her own phone in some part to find herself on the same page as Eve in any capacity and in some part to distract herself from the weight of even more silence.
There was a text from her mother. A simple but still loaded How are you, honey? that Hazel still didn’t feel compelled to respond to. She didn’t know how to answer anymore. She didn’t know whether she should say nothing or everything.
It occurred to Hazel that she used to find comfort in the solitude of her own bedroom at home, tucked under the covers with the door propped just open enough for her to hear the murmurs of the rest of the house. But now, the silence felt harsh and pressing. Hazel turned her attention from the room to any noise coming from the kitchen. She at least expected to hear the clamoring of pots and pans getting returned to their drawers or the rush of water from the sink. But the kitchen sounded hollow and empty like before. She feared this could be the new version of reality. And she was no longer a fan of the quiet.
Hazel was desperate for connection. Desperate.
She tucked her phone underneath her pillow where she couldn’t see the glow of the screen.
“Eve,” she blurted out into the darkness. “Are you awake?”
“Yeah, why?” Eve responded without turning around.
“How did you find out about me?” Hazel asked. She could see Eve stirring a bit now.
“What do you mean?” Eve responded lacklusterly.
“I mean how did you know we were sisters?”
“Oh, this is a good one,” Eve replied with much more energy. She sat straight up and turned her lamp on.
The glow lit her face up, and Hazel could sense a maniacal twinge in her eye.
“Well,” Eve began, slamming her palms onto the sheets next to her, causing them to ripple.
“As you know, I am always one to have all the information. Some people call it gossip but I really prefer to call it information. And there was no way I was going to not find every bit of information about my own father.”
Hazel nodded along. The feeling resonated.
“And in this case the information wasn’t just going to come find me. My mother gave up his name pretty easily.”
Eve smiled proudly and flipped her messy bun from one side of her head to the other.
“I told her I was sick of her secrets and she just blurted it right out. So, one day after school, I googled his name. Silasbox.com was the first search result. I literally could not believe it would be this easy and I clicked on the page. The first page was boring. Just a bunch of shitty tables and stuff. But then I found the About Me page.”
Hazel felt the room get a bit colder and the light of the lamp against Eve’s cheek get more dramatic as the story continued.
“Silas’s picture popped up right away and there was no doubt that this was him. His green eyes. His black hair. If it’s not creepy to say, his good looks. And right there beneath the picture was a whole set of contact information. Email, phone number, address.”
Eve paused and Hazel felt a pulse of energy run through her.
“I thought calling him would be the easiest first step so I did. The phone rang a few times and I thought he might not pick up but then I heard his voice on the other end.”
Hazel was enraptured now. “Well, what did you say?”
“I said, ‘I think I’m your daughter.’”
“Just like that?!” Hazel asked with true shock at Eve’s straightforwardness.
“Yup, just like that. It was quiet on the other end of the line for a moment and then... Want to know what he said?”
Eve was giggling now, her shoulders bouncing up and down.
“He cleared his throat and he sounded a bit flustered. ‘Uh, right. The other daughter.’”
Eve guffawed as the words left her lips and Hazel’s tummy clenched into one big knot. Silas knew about her the whole time? Her father knew about her the whole time? It was almost as if it were all happening all over again. That kick in the stomach, those hot tears pressing behind the eyes, the constriction of the throat that came with learning that the things you thought you knew were not wholly true. She wasn’t sure whether to interpret this as a betrayal or not. But Hazel wanted to stay far, far away from that idea. She wanted to push it way, way away. She wanted so badly for this new life to be her permanent one now.
Hazel had barely caught her breath again when Eve continued.
“Now this truly shocked me into a moment of confusion and silence, so he went on. ‘Jane is your mother?’ he asked, now sounding a bit nervous. ‘No, I’m Eve,’ I explained. And I could tell this one was a real kick in the nuts for him because all he could say was ‘Oh, shit. I didn’t know there was another one.’”
Eve rubbed her hands together like some kind of movie villain, but there was something in the slump of her shoulders and the downturned edges of her mouth that suggested this wasn’t the outcome she’d hoped for or expected.
“As soon as we hung up the phone, I went on to Wassup? and I typed in your name, Hazel Box. It didn’t really occur to me that you might have a different last name now like I did, but hey, lucky me. Your weird mom gave you his last name. The first image in the results was a close-up of a girl with one green eye and one hazel eye looking straight into the camera and black messy hair that could have used some help from a blow-dryer in my opinion. You looked a little chubby—sorry—and a little less cool, but definitely like we could be sisters. And that, my friend, my sister, is how I found out about you. It took me a while before I reached out to you. I wanted to get to know Silas first. You know, see how this new family thing would go. Silas and I didn’t talk much about you last summer but I felt like messaging you anyway before this summer. That’s the deal.”
Eve pressed her mouth into a smile, raised her eyebrows and then clicked the lamp off. She tucked herself back under her comforter and then turned on her side and faced away from Hazel again.
“Why didn’t you tell me then?”
Hazel felt short of breath again. Her lungs and tummy were in a pretzel.
“I decided I wanted to keep Silas to myself for a bit,” Eve replied nonchalantly without turning back around. “Only one new family member at a time, you know? Plus, it allowed me to have yet another thing to hang over my stupid parents’ conscience.”
Hazel suddenly and vigorously wanted to be out of that room. She wanted to be anywhere where the silence wasn’t weighing on her like lead. She felt her chest and lungs tighten and Hazel opened her mouth to swallow a big gulp of air to bring everything in her body back to harmony. But it didn’t work. A tingly anxiety started creeping over her skin and that big green wall flashed in her mind’s eye again.