‘Oh.’
‘It’s a long one, too. They won’t be back for three weeks.’
‘Okay.’
She realized she might have said too much. ‘Can I say who was asking?’
He shook his head, and backed away.
‘Young man?’
He walked through the gate and rapidly back the way he’d come.
Around the corner, he slumped against a low brick wall, close to tears of frustration and disappointment. He formed a fist and punched the wall. Stupid. Stupid. He looked at his knuckles, where spots of blood sprang from the inevitable graze, and sniffed hard.
A few yards away, a woman pushing a buggy eyed him warily, then crossed the road to continue on the other side.
Ethan wiped his knuckles on the leg of his jeans, wincing, then sank down to sit on the pavement, his shoulders hunched. And took his phone out.
43
Charlie had told Ethan to find a café, send the postcode and stay put. Then he had asked Scott to go and get him. He didn’t want Laura driving, he said. He expected Laura to argue but she didn’t. ‘I’m not sure I’m what he needs, right now.’ She’d laid her head on her father’s shoulder, grateful for his taking control. Scott had agreed, not meeting Heather’s eye. She’d walked out of the room.
‘I’ll come with you,’ said Nick. Scott nodded.
They found the place easily enough. ‘Not sure we should both go in.’
‘Agreed. Want me to?’
Nick shook his head. ‘Nah. Better be me. I yelled at him.’
‘He deserved that. Besides, I reckon that was just the straw on the proverbial camel’s back. Not your fault. The kid’s had a bellyful.’
‘I know. I’ll go. You wait.’
‘No problem. I can always make a few calls. Do me a favour – skinny cap and an almond croissant, if they have one. And don’t take for ever. Good to avoid rush-hour if we can. And Laura will want us back.’
‘Roger. Do my best.’
Ethan was sitting at the back, behind the cash desk, nursing a mug between his hands. He was staring into the middle distance, and Nick saw him first. The boy looked wretched. Approaching him, Nick touched his shoulder lightly. ‘You scared us, mate.’
Ethan’s shoulders sank a little – relief? Defeat? Nick couldn’t tell. ‘You okay?’
He rubbed his sleeve under his nose and sniffed hard. ‘Not really. Yeah. I don’t know. I’m sorry.’
Nick sat down. ‘Whoa. Hold on. That’s a lot of answers. Why don’t you start by telling me what’s happened? Did you find her?’
Ethan shook his head. ‘No. She wasn’t there. They’re all away.’
‘Well, that’s good.’
‘What?’
‘It was daft to try. The last thing you need to be doing is pissing her father off any more than you already have.’
‘Didn’t think of that.’
‘Didn’t think at all, you plonker. Scared your mum, upset your granddad. Totally kiboshed Heather’s Insta-breakfast.’
Ethan laughed, in spite of himself, but it was the kind of laugh that veered close to tears. Nick joined in, but Ethan stopped suddenly, his face close to crumpling. ‘I could have killed Arthur.’
‘And you didn’t.’
‘But I could’ve. And, besides, it’s just the latest thing – I’m an idiot.’
‘You’re a kid. A kid coping with some shit. None of which is of your making. Why are you blaming yourself for any of it? I don’t get it.’
Ethan couldn’t immediately answer that one.
‘I was much worse when I was your age.’
‘No, you weren’t.’
‘Ask my dad sometime. Ask your mum. They don’t know the half of it, really. But they’ll still tell you I was all over the place. School, college, uni even. I didn’t really grow up until I met Carrie, if I’m honest.’
‘Really?’ Ethan sat forward.
‘Absolutely. I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you. More to the point, gotta get going. Scott’s waiting outside, probably revving the engine. Time is money and all that. And he definitely didn’t do any of that crap when we were young. He never really was young. Sort of born aged forty, if you know what I mean.’
Ethan sniggered.
Nick was glad he’d got the boy to relax a little. ‘So can we get whatever you’re drinking to go?’
‘It’s empty. Finished it an hour ago. Been nursing it so they didn’t throw me out.’
‘All right, Oliver Twist. You’re killing me with this sob story. Let’s get three hot drinks and a cake for the driver and get going. Come on.’
While they waited for the girl to make their coffees, Ethan touched Nick’s arm. ‘Thanks, Uncle Nick. I really am sorry. For all of this – especially Arthur.’
Nick put his finger to his lips. ‘Enough. I know. Enough now.’
Late in the afternoon they all heard the car turn onto the gravel drive. The kids were watching Finding Nemo. The adults, except Laura, had been sitting in the kitchen, making small-talk. She’d been pacing in the gardens. Earlier, she’d tidied Ethan’s room, folded all the discarded clothes into neat piles, then shaken out the duvet and pillows. She’d put a load of hoodies and jeans into the laundry downstairs, finding leftover detergent pods in a cupboard. She wanted to be busy. Heather had Scott on FindMy on her phone – she’d let them know he was twenty, ten and then five minutes away. Of course she bloody had. It wasn’t fair, or nice, but in her misery Laura felt a flush of annoyance. Heather – perfect wife, perfect parent. Heather, Charlie and Hayley went wordlessly to the front door and out into the porch, although Laura wished they hadn’t. Charlie’s face was drawn with concern. She couldn’t read Heather’s as easily. Ethan slammed the car door, and walked past them all, his head down to avoid their eyes.
‘Ethan,’ Laura implored, her hand reaching for him, but he shrugged it off, and went into the house.
‘Leave him for now, Laur,’ Scott advised. Charlie put an arm around her shoulders, and squeezed gently.
‘How is he?’ she asked her brothers.
‘He’s embarrassed and angry and sad.’ This was Nick.
‘What did he say happened?’
‘He’d gone with some idea of seeing Saskia. Only she wasn’t there. She’s away for three weeks, according to a neighbour he spoke to.’
‘Poor kid.’
‘He feels foolish. I think it was a combination of what happened here yesterday, and all the stuff from before.’
Charlie smiled gently. ‘He’s in a pickle. That’s what your mum would have called it, and that’s what it is. He’s got himself in a state is all.’
‘He and I have made peace about what happened with Arthur. I know he was more cut up about it than any of us. I shouted because I was frightened.’ He smiled weakly at Laura.
‘I know that, Nick.’ She touched his hand. ‘Of course. Thank you for forgiving him.’
‘No forgiveness necessary. Could have been me twenty-five years ago.’