She couldn’t help herself. “How’s Jessie?”
“We broke up.”
Laura tried to rearrange her features into that of a caring friend, one for whom the news was just that—news—not a soaring relief, a gift. “You did? When?”
“The day after the protest. I didn’t want to be with her anymore, and I’d felt that way for a while, just hadn’t reckoned with it until then. She was sad, but understood. She was so much younger, and it began to fray my nerves.”
The kiss Laura had witnessed was one of parting, not passion.
But her joy quickly curdled. How easy it was for Amelia to discard a lover who no longer pleased. A bitter envy welled up inside Laura, and she hated herself for it. She wanted to be free to love like that, even just for a day.
“On to the next girlfriend, then?”
Amelia studied her. “Maybe. Maybe not. To be honest, I find your question rather patronizing.”
Laura had meant it to be flippant, but instead, she came off churlish and stern, just like her father. “Patronizing”—what a horrible word.
She was too close to her subjects for this thesis, too caught up in the Heterodoxy Club’s mystique and revolutionary ideas, the members’ pleas for equality. She’d lost her impartiality, a dangerous thing for a reporter. Even worse, she’d fallen in love with her source. She imagined leaning in and kissing Amelia right here on the steps of the library, in front of the whole world.
She looked around, as if waking from a trance, horrified at the thought.
No, this wasn’t love.
It was a crush. Amelia was everything Laura wished to be: brash, outspoken, taking what she wanted. And so Laura had somehow projected her own desires on the embodiment of them, Dr. Amelia Potter, the New Woman of bohemia.
She’d taken it too far, and regretted getting so caught up. Amelia’s world was so different from her own, an exotic country with its own rules and laws. Laura could never fit in. For all of her mother’s urging to follow her passions, this was not what she’d meant, not in the least.
“I’m sorry, you’re right, Amelia. I guess I just worry for you. That’s all.”
“I’m the last person you need to worry about, my dear.” She leaned against the lion’s pedestal. “Which one is this?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Which lion, Lenox or Astor?”
Amelia looked up at the sculptured feline. “Astor. The one to the south is Lenox.”
“I love that you know that.”
Amelia flashed a warm smile, and Laura couldn’t help but return it. Then they both laughed, the sound breaking through the awkwardness. They were dear friends after all.
“Will we see you at the meeting on Saturday?”
She could use a little more color for her thesis, which was due in two weeks. Now that she’d thought through her complicated feelings and come out the other side, she felt more in balance, more in control. Amelia was her friend, that was all, and that was enough. “Of course. I’ll see you there, thank you for coming uptown.”
Inside the library, Laura encountered Jack on the narrow stairway that led to their apartment.
“There you are!” He pulled her upstairs to the landing and lifted her into the air.
“Jack. What on earth is going on?”
“I came up to tell you some good news.”
“They’ve caught the thief?”
Her guess was off, judging from the dismayed look on his face. She couldn’t seem to read him anymore, to say the right thing.
“No, I’m afraid not. In fact, another two books were picked off this week.”
“That’s terrible.” Again, why hadn’t he told her? It was as if he’d held back the information on purpose.
“Certainly. However, since I don’t have access to the collection anymore, it means I am no longer a suspect. This has to do with my own book. An agent has asked to read it.”
“You finished it?”
“Yes. I finished it. Your patience with me has been wonderful, Laura. I don’t tell you that enough, and I’m sorry. After I finished it, I felt oddly forlorn, which is why I didn’t mention it. I haven’t been a good father, a good husband, as this manuscript has had me by the horns.”
“You have seemed removed lately, that’s true. But so have I. We’ve both been through a tough year.” Saying it out loud was such a relief, she threw her arms around his neck. “I’m so proud of you. You’ve finished the book. That’s an incredible accomplishment.” They stood there, rocking each other gently, the motion refilling the reserves of love Laura felt for her husband. “Tell me all about the agent.”
“I saw him in the Main Reading Room, when we were conducting an inspection of the pneumatic tubes. He knew my friend Billy, from back in the day, and came up to say hello. I wasn’t sure if it was too forward of me, but I knew this might be my only chance, my only connection, so I gave him a pitch, told him all about it. He said he’d like to read it, and I’m dropping it off at his office tomorrow, in person.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“Follow me.” He led her to his study, where a thick ream of papers sat in the very center of his desk, tied with string. “There she is. Would you like to read it before I send it out?”
“I’ve love to.” She checked the clock. “But let me first get dinner started. So the children aren’t hungry.”
“I’ll do that. You sit by the fire and have a read, and I’ll put together something for us.”
“You?” The thought made her giggle.
“You’d be surprised at my culinary skill. Back when I was an eligible young bachelor, I was quite handy.”
She did as she was told, and a half hour later was called into the kitchen for scrambled eggs on toast.
“What on earth?” she said, laughing.
“Dad says today’s an upside-down day,” announced Pearl, clutching her fingers together with excitement. “Breakfast is for dinner.”
Harry brought the plates to the table, arranging them carefully in between the forks and knives. The last one he dropped, and it clattered to the floor, eggs scattering across the tiles.
“I’m sorry.” Tears welled up in his eyes.
“But that’s perfect,” said Jack. “It’s upside-down day, so dinner’s on the floor, not the table.”
“Really?” Harry looked over at Laura for confirmation.