Pulling her mind away from the past, she said, “I enjoyed meeting all your friends at dinner last night. It’s quite the community on board a ship, isn’t it?”
“We’re a small village all right. And then we have the passengers.” Trevor grinned. “You and Owen’s wife had quite the conversation.”
“She’s fascinating, being an empath. She told me she could hear Verlaine’s thoughts at a high level if she concentrated.” Gianna wished she had the same ability. Lost in contemplation, she kept walking.
Laughing, Trevor held his hands out, palms up, “Don’t leave me hanging in suspense—what was he thinking?”
Gianna supplied Tyrelle’s message from the hound, who gave her a bland look of disinterest as she spoke. “He wished there were more table scraps being offered to him and he particularly appreciated the shred of meat you gave him.”
“Busted. I only succumbed to his sad soulful eyes once or twice, I swear.”
With a chuckle, Gianna said, “No problem. I trust you not to spoil him. I have to confess I do the same at home far too often. Verlaine is a charmer.”
Trevor made a determined effort to keep the conversation going as they walked. “And you and Juli were having a great time later. Was that about the pets too?”
Taking a deep breath, Gianna decided to take a risk and dive into the discussion she wanted to have with him, especially after the second night of passionate lovemaking they’d shared. “No, I was asking her if the CLC Line ever considered having an artist in residence for a cruise and what kind of duties might be required. I could teach a few classes.”
Her companion stopped dead in his tracks and Gianna hoped she hadn’t made a serious misjudgment of their mutual interest in each other. Unnerved by his reaction which was so far from what she’d hoped for, she rushed to fill the silence. “It was just a conversation, no commitments or anything. I thought if you and I…if we wanted to see more of each other after my brother’s wedding—”
He turned to her and her heart fell. His face was blank. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me and we certainly can’t discuss it here in the corridor.”
Two people brushed past her with muttered apologies as if to prove his point.
“I didn’t tell her why I was asking.” Now she was afraid she might cry. But it hadn’t been well planned on her part to bring this up to him here and now. I was so happy, being with him. “I thought, after the last two nights, you and I had something real happening between us.”
Now he acted as if she’d wounded him, wincing. “We do, please don’t doubt that. My feelings for you are off the charts.”
“But you think I’m rushing things. I get it.” She plastered a smile on her face. “Sorry.” Gianna started walking again, heading toward the Comettes dance theater where she was going to sketch ideas for the painting she’d promised them.
Trevor caught her hand, tugging her out of the center of the corridor and off to the side. “I very much want to have this conversation. You mean more to me than any woman I’ve ever met but I’m deadly serious about this—there are things in my past you might not be able to overlook or come to terms with.”
She relaxed a little inside. If he was only concerned about what he’d done in the military, of course she could handle the knowledge. He wouldn’t tell her all the details anyway because undoubtedly a lot of the information was classified. “I know you were a soldier in combat. Whatever you did was done for the Sectors, for all of us. I’m not going to be upset about you having done your duty.”
He shook his head. “I wish it was only my combat record. I’d give anything to have such a relatively simple barrier between us. Can we table this until tonight? We need time and privacy.”
“We can just forget it,” she said, out of patience and growing angry at herself and at him in equal measure. Her embarrassment was off the charts, which spurred her to react in an over the top manner to avoid any possibility of being hurt or rejected. “This was a mistake. Foolish me, taking a shipboard romance seriously.” Wrenching herself free of his light grip, not that he tried to prevent her from doing so, she walked rapidly toward the dance troupe’s offices.
“Gianna, please.” Trevor caught up easily. “I have never once regarded you as a shipboard fling. There’s nothing casual about what I feel for you. My heart is definitely involved, I can’t think of anything but you. Give me a chance to explain and then decide what you can or can’t handle. Whether you think we could make a go of a relationship beyond the length of this voyage.”
She was kept from answering by the opening of the Comettes office door and the emergence of Juli, the cruise director, who exclaimed in delight at seeing them, although she blinked at the obvious tension.
“Director Cartajj was telling me about the painting you’re going to do of her principal dancers,” Juli said. “This is a real thrill for us and something our future passengers will enjoy viewing. I wish I could stay and watch the process but I’m due at a passenger event on Level C. You and I’ll have to put our heads together what kind of publicity you’d be comfortable with CLC doing once the painting is complete.”
Gianna gathered her wits with considerable effort and straightened. “The work won’t be finalized until long after I’ve left the ship but yes, of course we can consult about the promo. As a painter who does market her work Sectors-wide, I know the value of strategic publicity. Now if you’ll excuse me.”
She disappeared into the office without answering Trevor’s plea.
“Was it something I said?” Juli asked him, gazing after Gianna as she hastened away.
Trevor shook his head. “Not at all. Just a bad day in general. I need to catch up to her—see you later.”
When he entered the office, Gianna was deep in conversation with Riall and the dancers about what set backdrop should be used for the painting and which costumes would be most striking and emblematic of the Comettes. She pointedly ignored him. Verlaine came to lick his hand quickly before trotting to his usual position at his mistress’s side. Trevor didn’t try to catch her attention. Better to let it all simmer until tonight, when he hoped they could talk in her cabin.
I should have been ready for this. No, I should have told her the truth before we ever got in this deep. But he’d been so happy and hadn’t wanted to put a damper on things by revealing the truth of his affliction and what drove his PTSD. No one had gotten out of the prison camp in one piece mentally, him least of all. He’d learned to fake it better than most.
And I never expected to fall in love. Admitting the truth to himself was like plunging into a lake of ice but he couldn’t deny the emotion. Trevor glanced at Gianna, who was genuinely engaged in the conversation now, eyes sparkling, gesturing excitedly and laughing with the women. He was glad her mood had improved even if the cause was nothing to do with him.
“Care to tell me why I have a Senior SCIA Agent in Charge demanding to talk to me about a recent inquiry we did on two of our passengers?” Jake’s voice in his ear on the private com link was crisp.
Trevor moved further away from the gathering and responded. “I had Maeve copy you on the request.”