“Don’t cry,” Trevor said to her, raising one hand with a huge effort to wipe away the tears on her cheek. “I’ll be fine, you’ll see.”
“I can’t ever thank you enough for coming to rescue me,” she said. “I’m sorry our last conversation this morning on the Nebula Zephyr was unpleasant.”
“Hey, that was entirely my fault,” he said immediately. “And you did agree to talk to me about it later only we got interrupted.” He managed to smile. “And then I had to do this dramatic self-reveal.”
Gianna managed a crooked grin for him. “You’re still you. Why wouldn’t I love you even if you can transform into a version of a Shemdylann? I know the situation must be because of what was done to you at the prison camp. How could I ever hold something like this against the man I love?”
He remembered how she’d recognized him in the cargo hold, and how she hadn’t shown any repugnance or hesitation. He gestured her closer and as soon as she was near enough, he pulled her down for a kiss. “I’m grateful for all of it now,” he said, “Because becoming this creature one more time was the only way to save you.”
9
Trevor lay in the critical care unit of the ship’s sickbay, hooked up to all kinds of monitors and equipment. Dr. Shane was pumping him full of drugs and nutrients and had done her best to repair his wounds. She’d even asked Owen’s wife Tyrelle to consult, since she was a healer of her people, with psychic powers. After his session with her, he felt more at peace with his fate, and perhaps a bit stronger, but remained imprisoned in the mortally wounded, partial Shemdylann form.
Emily came in when Tyrelle finished her therapy with him and the two women stood beside the bed, their faces set in nearly identical lines of concern. “We think you should take the risk of transforming to fully human,” Emily said as Tyrelle nodded. “I can’t treat the Shemdylann parts of your current anatomy properly and the tissues are showing alarming signs of decline. I don’t have the ability, the specific drugs or the expertise.” She gestured at the beeping, humming equipment. “All of this is educated guessing. I’ve been in contact with a few of my old colleagues, called in a lot of favors to get access to classified information but no one in the Sectors has ever dealt with this before. Of if they have, no one will admit it. I even managed to find one of the doctors who treated you after you were liberated from the POW camp but he said you were in human form when he was involved with your case.”
“He’s telling the truth. I transformed to my normal self after rampaging through the prison camp, freeing the other Sectors soldiers and killing as many Shemdylann as I could.” He plucked at the blanket with his human hand. “I didn’t want anyone to know about this.”
“We’re keeping it secret,” Tyrelle said. “The team who went with you to rescue Gianna swore not to speak of it, other than providing the full debrief to the captain.”
“And we transported you up here from Level Ten in a closed biohazard unit, so no one saw you,” Emily added.
A wave of nausea and pain swept through him and he clenched his fists until it passed. “I appreciate all the efforts you’ve both made for me since I was evacuated from the enemy ship in this condition but we’re out of options. I can’t change back. I’ve tried and the process doesn’t work anymore. I don’t know if I exceeded some limit, or the bastard’s crazy alien science broke down, or my injuries prevent it, but this is it for me, as good as it’s going to get.” He closed his eyes and bit his lip to get through the next agonizing wave of pain. “I don’t want to live this way.”
“We could put you into stasis,” Emily said. “I can arrange for long term storage and care in a top secret government medical facility run by a doctor I personally trust. Until or unless a genuine solution is identified, you’d be kept in suspended animation.”
Trevor shook his head. “It’s not just me, doc, although I appreciate the offer. There’s Gianna too. I can’t keep her hanging on, hoping I’ll get better, reminding her of what she’s been through—again—she needs to be able to get on with her life.”
“Don’t you think that’s her decision to make?” Tyrelle asked, eyes brimming with tears of compassion.
“Let’s be real,” Trevor said, closing his eyes. “There’s not going to be any miracle cure for me. Not if I stayed frozen in storage for a thousand years. I’m guessing even the creep who made me into this—this hybrid, couldn’t undo his handiwork. Let me die in peace.” Words of defeat he never expected to hear from his own lips, but he understood he was dying. He felt the approaching end in every fiber of his mixed up body. Having succeeded in saving Gianna from the unthinkable fate the enemy planned for her gave him the serenity to accept his fate. His final and most important mission.
There was silence. Finally Emily said, “I understand, soldier. We’ll give you our best pain relief.”
“Thanks. Can you send Gianna in again? I need to try to make her understand my decision.” Trevor braced himself because his beloved wouldn’t be easy to convince and he had to find a way to leave her for her own good. Words strong enough to launch her into a life alone without him where she could hopefully find happiness again in the future, when he was nothing but a memory.
He heard the sound of the door closing and then reopening and Gianna and Verlaine came into the room.
“Hey, you look better already,” she said, giving him a careful hug. “Did the doctor or Mrs. Embersson have any suggestions?”
Time to be firm. Trevor drew a deep breath, wincing as his broken ribs protested the idea. The pain reinforced his determination to have a frank discussion with her and quash any foolish hopes she might harbor. “Sweetheart, we both know I’m not going to pull through this.”
“I’m not going to listen to defeatist talk from you,” she said immediately, shaking her head. Verlaine whined and licked his hand before doing the same to hers. “There has to be a solution. I refuse to lose you when I just found you. I love you so much, Trevor Hanson.”
“You know I feel the same about you but Dr. Shane doesn’t have any idea other than freezing me in stasis and hoping a cure comes along, which is no hope at all, basically.”
“I’d wait for you,” she said. “The rest of my life if necessary.”
Which was his biggest fear for her, deferring any possibility of her happiness with someone else, hanging onto hope when the situation was utterly hopeless. Defeat was bitter on his tongue. He wanted life with Gianna more than he’d ever wanted anything and he knew it was impossible so he forced himself to continuing to argue. “I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Don’t decide right now, please. If you love me, think about it until tomorrow at least.”
He couldn’t handle the agony in her voice. “All right. We can table it for now and discuss it all tomorrow, if I can hang on through the night. Doc promised to increase my pain meds.”
There was a knock at the door. Wearily, Trevor said, “Come in.”
Captain Fleming, who’d visited once already, stepped into the room but this time he had a companion. Trevor stared, transfixed by the sight of a Mellurean Mind in his sickroom. She couldn’t be anything else. Tall, regal, dressed all in purple, with a classically beautiful face so perfect she might have been a statue, framed by long, silky black hair…but her eyes caught his attention and then he was unable to avert his gaze. The orbs which had him virtually hypnotized were also purple, or perhaps dark blue with lavender highlights. He couldn’t be sure as the colors seemed to change the longer he focused on them. He was dizzy.