At a Very Special
Bargain Price!”
sang the little old lady, cracking her whip.
And just at that moment she turned her head and spied the straggling group. Her dark eyes glittered like little blackcurrants as she thrust out a bird-like hand.
“Well, I never! If it isn’t Mary Poppins! I haven’t seen you in a month of Tuesdays!”
“The same to you, so to speak, Miss Calico!” Mary Poppins replied politely.
“Well, it all just goes to show!” said Miss Calico. “If you know what I mean!” she added, grinning. Then her bright black gaze fell upon the children.
“Why, Mercy Me and a Jumping Bean! What a quartet of sulky faces! Cross-patch, draw the latch! You all look as if you’d lost something!”
“Their tempers,” said Mary Poppins grimly.
Miss Calico’s eyebrows went up with a rush, and her pins began to flash.
“Thundering Tadpoles! Think of that! Well, what’s lost must be found – that’s the law! Now – where did you lose ’em?”
The little black eyes went from one to another and somehow they all felt guilty.
“I think it must have been in the High Street,” said Jane in a stifled whisper.
“Tut! Tut! All that way back? And why did you lose ’em, might one ask?”
Michael shuffled his feet and his face grew red. “We didn’t want to go on walking—” he began shame-facedly. But the sentence was never finished. Miss Calico interrupted him with a loud shrill cackle.
“Who does? Who does? I’d like to know? Nobody wants to go on walking. I wouldn’t do it myself if you paid me. Not for a sackful of rubies!”
Michael stared. Could it really be true? Had he found at last a grown-up person who felt as he did about walking?
“Why, I haven’t walked for centuries,” said Miss Calico. “And what’s more, none of my family do. What – stump on the ground on two flat feet? They’d think that quite beneath them!” She cracked her whip and her pins flashed brightly as she shook her finger at the children.
“Take my advice and always ride. Walking will only make you grow. And where does it get you? Pretty near nowhere! Ride, I say! Ride – and see the world!”
“But we’ve nothing to ride on!” Jane protested, looking round to see what Miss Calico rode. For, in spite of the notice “Horses for Hire” there wasn’t even a donkey in sight.
“Nothing to ride on? Snakes alive! That’s a very unfortunate state of affairs!”
Miss Calico’s voice had a mournful sound but her black eyes twinkled impishly as she glanced at Mary Poppins. She gave a little questioning nod and Mary Poppins nodded back.
“Well, it might have been worse!” cried Miss Calico, as she snatched up a handful of sticks. “If you can’t have horses – what about these? At least they’ll help you along a bit. It’s lucky today is a Bargain Day. I can let you have ’em for a pin apiece.”
The scent of peppermint filled the air. The four lost tempers came creeping back as the children searched their clothes for pins. They wriggled and giggled, and peeked and pried, but never a pin could they find.
“Oh, what shall we do, Mary Poppins?” cried Jane. “We haven’t a pin between us!”
“I should hope not!” she replied, with a snort. “The children I care for are properly mended. Their clothes are never done up with pins!”
She gave a disgusted sniff. Then turning back the lapel of her coat, she handed a pin to each of the children. Robertson Ay, who was dozing against the railings, woke up with a start as she handed him another.
“Stick ’em in!” shrieked Miss Calico, leaning towards them. “Don’t mind if they prick. I’m too tough to feel ’em!”
They pushed their pins in among the others and her dress seemed to shine more brightly than ever as she handed out the sticks.
Laughing and shouting, they seized and waved them and the scent of peppermint grew stronger.
“I shan’t mind walking now!” cried Michael, as he nibbled the end of his pink-and-white stick. A shrill little cry broke on the air, like a faint protesting neigh. But Michael was sampling the Peppermint Candy and was far too absorbed to hear it.
“I’m not going to eat mine,” Jane said quickly. “I’m going to keep it always.”
Miss Calico glanced at Mary Poppins and a curious look was exchanged between them.
“If you can!” said Miss Calico, cackling loudly. “You may keep ’em all, if you can – and welcome! Stick ’em in firmly, don’t mind me!” She handed a stick to Robertson Ay as he stuck his pin in her sleeve.
“And now,” said Mary Poppins politely, “if you’ll excuse us, Miss Calico, we’ll get along home to dinner!”
“Oh, wait, Mary Poppins!” protested Michael. “We haven’t bought a stick for you!” An awful thought had come to him. What if she hadn’t another pin? Would he have to share his stick with her?
“Humph!” she said, with a toss of her head. “I’m not afraid of breaking my legs, like some people I could mention!”
“Tee-hee! Ha-ha! Excuse me laughing! As if she needed a walking-stick!”
Miss Calico gave a bird-like chirp, as though Michael had said something funny.
“Well, pleased to have met you!” said Mary Poppins, as she shook Miss Calico’s hand.
“The Pleasure is mine, I assure you, Miss Poppins! Now, remember my warning! Always ride! Goodbye, goodbye!” Miss Calico trilled. She seemed to have quite forgotten the fact that none of them had any horses.
“Peppermint Candy! Bargain Prices! All of it made of the Finest Sugar!” they heard her shouting as they turned away.
“Got a Pin?” she enquired of a passer-by, a well-dressed gentleman wearing an eye-glass. He carried a brief-case under his arm. It was marked in gold letters:
LORD CHANCELLOR
DISPATCHES
“Pin?” said the gentleman. “Certainly not! Where would I get such a thing as a Pin?”
“Nothing for nothing, that’s the law! You can’t get a stick if you’ve got no pin!”
“Take one ’o mine, duck! I got plenty!” said a large fat woman who was tramping past. She hitched a basket under her arm and, plucking a handful of pins from her shawl, she offered them to the Lord Chancellor.
“One Pin Only! Bargain Prices! Never Pay Two when you’re asked for One!” Miss Calico cried in her hen-like cackle. She gave the Lord Chancellor a stick and he hooked it over his arm and went on.
“You and your laws!” said the fat woman, laughing as she stuck a pin in Miss Calico’s skirt. “Well, gimme a strong one, ducky, do! I’m hardly a Fairy Fay!” Miss Calico gave her a long, thick stick and she grasped the handle in her hand and leant her weight against it.
“Feed the birds! Tuppence a bag! Thank you, my dear!” cried the fat woman gaily.
“Michael!” cried Jane, with a gasp of surprise. “I do believe it’s the Bird Woman!”
But before he had a chance to reply, a very strange thing happened. As the fat woman leant her weight on the stick, it gave a little upward spring. Then, swooping under her spreading skirts, it heaved her into the air.