I lay in Claire’s bed.
Claire, your bed doesn’t have enough room for someone else. That thought makes me hard again. The image of you, always alone. Just like me. I come again, this time over the tiny whimsical flowery pattern of her sheets.
Claire, by the time you get home my semen might cover every inch of your apartment.
I wonder if she’ll smell it when she walks in.
I don’t like waiting.
Claire, why are you keeping me waiting?
Are you stuck in the storm?
You fucking better be.
Chapter 11
Claire
I can feel the cold, down in my bones. A deep-rooted icy ache that solidifies my blood and freezes the marrow deep inside me. My lungs bite with it, little glass shards, cutting me from the inside out. Above me the sky is unclear, I can’t tell where the clouds begin and the snow and wind end. Yet, it feels as if it hangs just an inch above my face. I lie unmoving, dazed and confused. My temples pound strangely as I watch the swirling shapes of ice and snow spiral past me. It’s oddly beautiful. But deathly silent.
“W-w-w-w-where am I?” I force out the question through my chattering teeth. I’m not quite sure who I’m asking, though I vaguely remember I’m not here—wherever that is—alone.
I struggle to pull myself up. My head swims violently with the movement and there’s too much heaviness pressing me down. I have to claw my fingers free from the weight, until my hands burn and tingle with pins and needles. Panic tornadoes through me. I kick out my legs, flailing them back and forth. A prickling sensation crawls over my ears and nose and cheeks.
“W-w-w-w-what h-h-h-happened?” Ice and snow fill my mouth.
What happened to my car? Wasn’t I just sitting inside it? Why can’t I get up?
There’s a muted sound. A faint ding-ding-dinging, like I left my car door open. Did I get into an accident?
I thrash my body frantically. I have to get up. The throbbing in my head increases and picks up speed as the horror of it all comes flooding back.
My mother is dead. She hanged herself because of Silas Montgomery.
The house on top of a remote mountain they stayed in together.
The text messages.
Offshore accounts where they hid money.
Someone is blackmailing me with horrible, indecent photos that will get me fired.
What else? There was something else.
Oh my God.
It hits me like a brick to the chest. Seeing the only boy I have ever loved as a grown man for the first time in ten years.
Vaughn Montgomery.
Vaughn Montgomery shouting at me about an avalanche.
Oh Lord, did I just live through a mountain crashing on me?
“V-V-V-Vaughn-n-n-n,” I try to call his name, but I barely get it past my frost-covered lips. How can it be this cold? And why does it feel like it’s getting colder by the second?
I need to get out of the snow. I have to stand up and get my bearings. Vaughn has to be here somewhere. I keep scraping and digging at the snow that has blanketed me like an icy tomb. My body shivers and shudders so wildly, it’s hard to stay focused, and I’m losing all feeling in my limbs. But I don’t stop.
The open car door ding-ding-dings, mocking me.
Tremors rock through me as I finally break free.
“V-V-V-Vaughn!” I stammer, glancing around desperately. My teeth rattle so hard in my mouth I’m afraid they might break right out.
I clamber and struggle to stand. The snowbank is waist-high, and to my utter surprise and horror, it’s much colder in the whipping wind. Spinning around slowly, I search for Vaughn. Around me it seems like the snow has frozen over, as if a thick sheet of ice covers everything. Every pine needle, every branch, and tree trunk; sheathed in ice.
My stomach drops.
I dive back into the accumulation and wade through it. Immediately, I’m exhausted, and I’ve only moved about a foot or two, but that’s just enough. Right over the next mound of snow I find him, almost fully emerged in the snow.
I’m surprised by the relief I feel when I touch the steady beat of his pulse. He’s still alive.
I start digging.
I can’t believe we were out here in this blizzard fighting like two idiots. All because of the stupidity and selfishness of both of our parents, and because of the hate we both have for each other. Heat prickles in the corner of my eyes, and a tear spills over my lashes and turns to frost. I can’t let my emotions get the best of me, I just need to get him up and back inside. Then when this storm is over, I can get off this tainted mountain and purge my mind of anything Montgomery. A complete brain-bleach.
It doesn’t take too long to get him fully uncovered, thank God. I slap lightly at his cheeks and shake his shoulders. “V-V-Vaughn, get up.” I still have no control over my convulsing teeth.
He stirs a little.
“V-V-Vaughn, wake up. If we stay out here, we’re going to die.”
“I’m already dead,” he mumbles, “and Hell smells like vanilla and roses.”
What’s going to happen if I can’t get him up? Am I strong enough to carry him through the snowdrifts all the way back to the house?
That’s a hard no.
“You’re not dead, Vaughn. Not yet.”
His eyes open wide, then narrow back down to slits. “But I’m still in Hell it seems.”
“If that’s a knock on me and not the weather, you can just stay here and harden into a Montgomery-favored popsicle. I really don’t care.”
His jaw clenches as he slowly sits up. He must be in pain.
“Funny, I remember you caring. I remember you really liking me hardening into your very own Montgomery-flavored popsicle.” He tries to chuckle, but his eyes squeeze shut tight. Yeah, he’s definitely in a lot of pain. Good, he deserves it after what he just said.
“How about you just forget that ever happened?” I grumble.
“Can’t,” he grunts, making his way slowly to his feet. “It’s etched right into my brain matter.”
“Then let’s pretend we’re total strangers,” I sigh. Doesn’t he realize I hate him just as much as he hates me? I may even hate him more.
“Then, I wish we were better strangers,” he mutters.
Oh, forget it. He’s not worth fighting with right now, it’s too damn cold. I spin my back on him and start trudging my way toward the only huge snowy lump that has a glowing window and hope it’s the house. Behind me, Vaughn drops back to the ground.
“Really?” I growl, glancing back at him over my shoulder. “You have enough energy to snicker back and forth with me, but not enough to move, huh?”
He sits in the snow, his hand touching the side of his forehead. His fingers fall away covered in blood. Confusion pulls his brows together.
A violent shiver rips through me.
I’m at his side in a flash, faster than I could have ever thought possible.
“W-w-why am I bleeding?” he asks.
“I don’t know—I don’t know,” my words are panicked, frenzied. I lean down and steel myself against his heavy body, flinging his limp arm over my shoulder. “Try and climb back up to your feet. Come on, Vaughn, help me. I can’t carry you.” I want to stop the world from spinning and look at his head, but what good would it do, we’re still out here in the storm. We have to get back inside and warm up. I can’t even feel my fingers, how can I possibly help him with frozen fingers?