Tears sting my eyes as I think about letting him go and before I can completely lose it, I grab my phone off the counter to distract myself. I check my messages for the millionth time today, hoping Ivy finally answered me but my messages are the only thing staring back at me. As I start pacing through the apartment, I dial her number. This was my original plan for after work and I’m not going to let Chance or his note derail that.
“Pick up the damn phone, Vi,” I whisper, my stomach churning. It’s been a long stressful day at work and I’ve worn down almost all my nails worrying about what Julian did to my sister last night. Her lack of contact today has me thinking the worst. At several points today, I sent up a prayer she’s just mad at me about not backing her up last night, but I can’t help but imagine the worst. Not with what I know now. Dottie hasn’t been much better, either, and she’s been texting non-stop to ask if I’ve heard from Ivy.
“Hello?” Ivy says into the phone and I let out a breath.
Thank God.
“Hey, what are you up to?” I ask, trying to sound casual. It doesn’t work. Even I can hear that my voice is higher than normal and my chest feels tight.
“Uh…” she hums, her voice dimming like she pulled the phone away from her ear and then she’s back. “Not much. Just unpacking some things I haven’t had a chance to get to yet.”
“Oh, okay. Well, do you want to grab dinner with me? I wanted to talk to you after last night.”
She pauses and my breath gets stuck in my throat. “Actually, I still have a lot to do but maybe I’ll call you back later, okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” I answer, my voice cracking and I purse my lips.
“Bye.” She doesn’t even wait for my reply before she hangs up and I pull the phone away from my ear, fighting back tears. Glancing down to where the phone sits in my hand, I stare at the black screen for a moment before sinking to the floor. What the hell am I supposed to do for her?
No matter how many times I think it over, I just can’t understand how she can stay with him. She has enough money to go anywhere in the world and if she had called Dottie or I, we would have been there for her in a heartbeat. The first time he laid a hand on her, she should have been out the door. Why can’t she see that?
Tears sting my eyes again and I grab onto the island to pull myself up before sliding my laptop in front of me and opening it. After bringing up the search engine, I type “abusive relationships” in the search bar and suck in a breath before pressing the arrow that will start my search. In an instant, pages of articles pop up in front of me with taglines that are intended to entice me to open them. It’s overwhelming. Clicking on the first one, I start reading and before long, I’m lost in article after article that make my heart ache. I can’t stop picturing what he’s doing to her when no one is around and even though I found some answers, I’m still struggling to understand why she wouldn’t just come to me. How scared does she have to be to not trust I would keep her safe?
A tear slips down my cheek and I brush it away, trying not to picture Ivy all broken down and bruised as I stand up and grab a wine glass from the cupboard. The tears keep coming as I pour wine into the glass and a knock at the door has me glancing over my shoulder.
“Shit.” I set the bottle down and quickly wipe my eyes, checking my reflection in the mirror to make sure my mascara isn’t smeared before I yank the door open. My heart jumps into my throat when Chance looks up, meeting my eyes.
“Chance,” I whisper, a riot of emotions rocking through me. Between his note and dealing with my sister, I feel like I’m being tossed around on an angry sea.
“Hey,” he answers, looking casual as ever except for the uncertainty in his eyes. He glances over my shoulder. “See you got my flowers.”
“Um, yeah.”
What exactly am I supposed to say here? It hurts to look at him and know he can never be mine. Why did I go and fall in love with the wrong guy again?
“Can I come in?” he asks and I blink in surprise. He doesn’t ask permission, ever, usually just preferring to bulldoze into my life whenever he pleases.
“I don’t think that’s such a good…”
My words are cut off by his deep growl as he shakes his head and strides into the room anyway, brushing up against me as he passes. The scent of that damn cinnamon gum lingers even after he passes and I have no idea how I’m going to fight him.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I snap, gripping the door tightly as I try to hold onto my anger. He grabs my glass of wine and chugs the entire thing.
“We’re going to have a conversation.”
I scoff. “No, we’re not.”
“Listen, if you’re going to end things then we’re going to have a real conversation and I’m not leaving here until that happens.”
“You can’t be serious,” I snap, glaring at him and he nods.
“I am.”
My jaw ticks as I stare at him and after a second, I nod and slam the door closed. “All right, Chance, you want to have a real goddamn conversation? Fine. Let’s start with why you pursued me?”
He blinks. “What?”
“Yeah. And then we can talk about how you manage to look me in the eye and lie so easily because it’s really something else.”
He takes a step toward me and I back up, shaking my head.
“What the hell are you talking about, Princess?”
I hold a finger up, fighting back tears again. Fuck this day. “Oh, no. You don’t get to call me that anymore.”
“Will you please explain to me what’s going on? Why did you leave the night of the party?” he asks, running a hand through his hair.
“Seriously?” I ask, my eyes burning and my heart aching. “You’re going to act like you don’t know?”
“I don’t know,” he insists and I’m pretty sure I hate him. “I keep thinking I need to be patient and eventually you’ll come around but each time I think we’re getting close, you shut down again! Why? Why can’t you just give this thing between us a goddamn shot?”
Is this part of his game? Does he get off on seeing the pain he inflicted on me? My anger bubbles over and I can’t hold back anymore.
“Why is exactly right, Chance. You want answers? Well, so do I! I want to know why you kept coming around and why you pushed me to open up to you and reveal parts of myself I never showed to anyone but most of all, I want to know why you had to go and make me fall in love with you.”
The apartment falls silent, but I can hear my words echoing in my head and I realize my mistake a moment too late. I suck in a breath and my eyes widen as he steps toward me, his gaze filling with hope.
“You love me?” he asks, his voice soft, a hint of a smile teasing his lips, and I shake my head.
“No.”
He takes another step and my back hits the wall as I try to retreat, blocking my escape.
Fuck.
“Then, why did you say it?” His eyes are burning with determination now and it spells out disaster for me. I thought I knew this man, thought I understood him, but nothing that’s happened since Friday night makes any sense to me.
“I don’t know.”