* * * *
My stomach sinks like a stone and my feet are rooted to the concrete as I sit on a park bench across from the Baton Rouge Police Department, staring up at the formidable building that holds answers. Answers that I’m not even sure I want.
“Ready to go?” Theo asks, sitting down next to me on the bench and I shrug my shoulders.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
“We’ll go in whenever you’re ready, T,” he assures me and I turn to him with a raised brow.
“How the hell are you being so damn strong right now?”
He shakes his head. “I think I’m just in shock.”
Turning back to the building, I nod. Shock is a good word for how this feels. Theo is stationed in Charleston with the Navy and after Detective Rodriguez left my apartment two days ago, I called him in tears. After five hours and several calls to his chief, he was on the road to help me process all of this and bury our mother. But none of it feels real.
“It doesn’t seem possible…” I muse and Theo turns to me.
“What doesn’t?”
“The car accident. I mean, this is the same woman who has a gun conveniently hidden in every room of her house, the one who built a panic room out of her bedroom closet, she made us train in at least three different martial arts, made us run drills for every disaster scenario and a car accident is what kills her? It doesn’t fit.”
“I know,” he whispers. “I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it.”
Shaking my head, I sigh. “I guess we won’t get any answers out here.”
“Ready to do this, then?” He holds his hand out to me and I grab it as I push to my feet.
“Yeah.”
We cross the street in silence, hands clasped, and I can feel his nerves amplifying my own. Maybe it’s because we’re twins or maybe it’s because growing up, we only had each other and Mom to lean on but this is the way it’s always been for us. Sometimes, I swear I can hear his thoughts as loudly as my own.
“Relax,” he whispers under his breath as he open the door to the police station and I shoot him a look. We’re both on edge so he has no room to chastise me.
“Back at you, little brother.”
He turns a glare on me and I smile. It’s a fight we’ve had too many times to count and it’s the fastest way to tick him off.
“By three minutes.”
“Can I help you, folks?” the officer behind the front desk asks as we approach and Theo squares his shoulders as he nods.
“Yeah. We’re here to talk to Detective Rodriguez.”
“Name?”
“Theo and Tate Carter,” Theo answers, authority in his voice.
The officer grabs the phone and glances up at us. “He expecting you?”
Theo nods and the officer dials Detective Rodriguez before instructing us to sit in the waiting area. We claim the last two chairs up against the wall and Theo crosses his arms over his chest, his gaze flicking over the room continuously. Even now, he can’t stop himself from doing the things our mother ingrained in us.
“You know, the other night I couldn’t remember how I had left the curtains in my apartment and it bothered me all night long.”
He scoffs. “Try living with a roommate who doesn’t understand your obsessive need to scan the room before you leave.”
“Have you ever wondered why she was like that?”
“Every fucking day of my life,” he replies, meeting my gaze and I nod. Our mother’s strange behavior wasn’t something either one of us noticed until we were teenagers because up until then, we didn’t know any different. We thought all parents made their children practice at the gun range every weekend or act out what they would do if someone broke into the house.
“Miss Carter?” someone says from the doorway and we both turn as Detective Rodriguez steps out and extends his hand to Theo. “Hello, I’m Detective Rodriguez.”
“Theo Carter.”
Detective Rodriguez nods and motions toward the door he just came out of. “Why don’t you follow me and we’ll go over the case so far?”
We stand in unison and follow Detective Rodriguez back to an interview room with a table in the center. There are two chairs on one side so Theo and I sit there as Detective Rodriguez sits across from us and sets a thick folder down on the table. He pulls out several photos of our mother’s mangled car and places them in front of us.
“First off, I just want to express my deepest condolences for your loss. This is my least favorite part of the job but I promise I will do everything I can to find who ran your mother off the road.”
“You’re sure that someone else was involved?” Theo asks, inspecting the photos in front of us and Rodriguez nods. He pulls out another photo and lays it in front of us, pointing to something in the shot.
“There was white paint found on the back bumper of your mother’s car as well as tire marks indicating that a second vehicle was at the scene. It looks like whoever was driving that vehicle was very intoxicated.”
Theo stares down at the photos before glancing up. “How can you tell that?”
Rodriguez pulls out more photos; these of the road leading up to the accident where you can see tire marks swerving all over the road. “We can’t find anyone that witnessed the accident and unfortunately, traffic cameras in that part of town are down but based on the tire tracks, I would bet my career that the second driver was completely wasted.”
“What part of town was she in?” I ask and he pulls out a map and lays it in front of us before pointing to the edge of town. “What was she doing out there?”
I turn to look at Theo and he shrugs.
“Your guess is as good as mine, Miss Carter,” Detective Rodriguez says and my gaze flicks across the map to where her house is as my mind spins. What was she doing there? Not that she would have ever told me if I asked. My mother liked to keep her secrets.
“And you said there are no witnesses?” Theo asks, a scowl on his face as he inspects the evidence laid out in front of us.
“Not that we can find right now. We’ll keep looking but in that neighborhood, the chances aren’t high.”
A feeling of hopelessness weighs down on me. “So, that’s it, then?”
“No, ma’am. You have my word that I will keep searching for answers but just understand it’s not going to be easy.”
Theo meets my eyes and my heart breaks a little more knowing we may spend the rest of our lives searching for answers.
“Y’all can have your mother’s body moved to a funeral home whenever you’re ready. The medical examiner has finished everything he needs to do.”
A sob wells up in my throat and Theo wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Okay, we’ll take care of it and please keep in touch if you get any updates on the case.”
Rodriguez nods and stands, holding his hand out toward Theo. “Of course.”
They shake hands and he leads us back out to the waiting area before disappearing in the back. Theo leads me outside and I shiver as we cross the street and sit down on the park bench again.
“I hate not knowing,” Theo whispers and I nod in agreement. Mom always taught us that knowledge is power so not having the answers we need only makes all this worse.