“Oh, for fuck’s sake. You’re insane.”
The little growl on the other end of the line makes me smile even as I roll my eyes again. “I’m serious, T. Who is this guy? You didn’t mention anyone to me when I was there and you’ve got money now. You need to be careful that he’s not using you.”
“Theo!” I shout through my laughter. “I haven’t even spent any of that money so I don’t think men are suddenly looking at me like I’m their sugar mama.”
“I’m worried about you,” he grumbles as the sound of the screen door opening behind me catches my attention. I glance over my shoulder and watch Lincoln as he walks down the steps with a pile of plates and silverware in his hands. “Hey, I gotta go. We’ll talk later, okay?”
“Don’t think this is over, Tate!” he yells into the phone as I hang up, giggling at his reaction. Back in high school when I was getting into trouble, Theo was always stressing over where I was and who I was with but it’s not something he’s had to think about in a long time. Not that he has to now anyway. Lincoln and I are just friends.
“You want any help?” I ask as he fumbles with one of the steak knives and he glances up, glaring at me.
“I got it. You just sit your pretty ass there.”
My brow arches. “You better watch it unless you want a repeat of our first meeting.”
“Maybe I do. You’re not as scary as you think you are.”
I scoff and hop up from my chair. “You’d be singing a different tune if you emptied my purse right now.”
He studies me for a moment, trying to decide if I’m telling the truth and I almost want him to do it just so I can see his face when he pulls out the Taser, knife, and pepper spray. Not to mention the pistol I stowed in the glove box of Mia’s car.
“I never know if you’re serious or not about the weapons.”
Crossing my arms behind my back, I flash him an innocent smile. “Why don’t you take a peek?”
My stomach growls again and he shakes his head. “Why don’t you get some food and tell me why you feel like you need to carry around multiple ways to defend yourself?”
Sighing, I take a plate from him and go to the grill where I grab the tongs and put one of the steaks on my plate.
“What’s in the tin foil?” I ask, eyeing the shiny little pouches on the grill.
“Potatoes and veggies.”
I grab one and set it on my plate before walking back over to the table and sitting down as Lincoln passes me. With him behind me at the grill, I take a deep breath, mentally reminding myself that I’ve got this before he walks back over and sits across from me.
“So, how was your Valentine’s Day?” he asks as I cut into my steak and I picture two nights ago when the girls and I went through five bottles of wine and spent hours bashing the men in our lives – including the one staring at me now.
“Uh…uneventful. You.”
He nods, staring at his plate. “Same.”
Something is off with him tonight but I can’t quite place my finger on it. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“What?” he asks, his head snapping up.
“You’re being weird. What’s going on?”
Shaking his head, he finishes chewing before setting the fork on his plate and sighing. “Sorry. It’s just… uh, not a good day.”
“Why?”
“Forget it, it’s nothing,” he says, waving his hand through the air like he might be able to physically push whatever is bothering him away.
“Hey,” I snap and his head jerks up, his gaze meeting mine. A quiet gasp slips past my lips at the pain etched into his face and I stand up, rounding the table and straddling the bench next to him. “You can talk to me, Lincoln.”
Reaching forward, I lay my hand on his face and he sucks in a stuttered breath.
“I’m sorry, Tate. I thought if I invited you here, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard but I guess I was wrong.”
I scowl, searching his face for answers. “What wouldn’t be so hard? Please just talk to me. I’m your friend.”
I scoot closer to him and he glances up at me.
“Tomorrow is the nine year anniversary of my little sister’s death.”
Tears flood my eyes in an instant as I gasp and squeeze his hand. “Oh my god, Lincoln. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s something that’s always in the back of my mind, you know? Something that always haunts me.”
I try to put myself in his shoes and imagine what it would be like if I lost Theo and the pain is unbearable. Honestly, I don’t know how I would survive.
“What was her name?” I ask and he quickly wipes away a tear.
“Nora.”
Our knees touch as I scoot closer to him and I take his hand in both of mine. “Will you tell me what happened to her?”
“Just…uh, please don’t think less of me.”
I shake my head. “Why would I ever think less of you?”
“Because it’s all my fault.”
“What happened?” I whisper. I don’t believe that it was actually his fault for a minute but I know hearing me say that wouldn’t help him right now. He sucks in a breath and nods.
“Right after Nora graduated high school, she met this guy, Ben. I did the usual big brother thing and he seemed like an all right guy so I was cool with them dating. Eight months later, Nora decided to end things and Ben lost it. I didn’t know it at the time but he’d been stalking her for months, begging her to take him back and it didn’t matter that she ignored him because he just kept at it.” His voice breaks and I wish I could wrap him up in a hug but I want him to finish his story first.
“About two months later, Nora started dating someone new and that’s when Ben really went off the deep end. For the first time, she was scared of him and what he was capable of so she came to me for help. At the time, I worked two jobs to help support my family and I always intended to look into it but I never got the chance because Ben killed her and her new boyfriend.”
“Lincoln,” I whisper, tears running down my cheeks. His hand trembles in mine and I can’t hold back anymore. I wrap my arms around him. “I’m so sorry.”
“I understand if you want to leave,” he murmurs and I squeeze him tighter, shaking my head. How could I possibly leave him?
“I’m not going anywhere and her death was not your fault. I’ll say it as many times as you want me to but I get the feeling it wouldn’t do any good.”
“I should have been there for her, Tate. Taking care of them after Dad died was my responsibility and I failed her.”
Imagining myself at fifteen, I don’t know how I would have handled everything I’m dealing with now and the full weight of the pain he’s been carrying around for years crashes down on me. Pulling back, I cup his cheek and turn his face toward mine.
“I’m so sorry.”
His brow furrows as his eyes search mine. “What are you sorry for?”
“All this time, all I’ve been focused on is my own pain. I was so blinded by it that I couldn’t see how much you still carry around every day. I’ve been a shitty friend but my eyes are open now and I see you, Lincoln. I really see you.”