“This is not funny,” I hiss, and they laugh.
“Hey, Ali!” Troy says, stepping up beside me, and I plaster on a smile as I turn to him.
“Troy! Hey, how are you?”
He grins and throws an arm over my shoulders that I immediately want to throw off. “Real good now that you’re here.”
Oh, Jesus Christ, shoot me now.
“Shit, what did you do to your knee?” he asks, pointing down to my injured leg.
“Got tackled by a dog.”
“No shit?” he asks, and I’m not really sure how to respond.
“Yep. Pretty crazy.” I look to Izzy or Carly for help. Izzy is sitting in her chair with her chin propped up in her hand as she watches us. She catches my eye and bats her eyelashes at me.
I swear to God, I’m going to kill her.
Troy maneuvers himself between me and the table so I have no choice but to look up at him as he grins down at me. “So, what do you say you and me get out of here? We can pick up where our last date left off.”
His gaze drops down my body, letting me know exactly what he means by that, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes.
“Sorry, she can’t,” Izzy cuts in, and I rethink killing her. “It’s girls’ night. No sausage allowed.”
Carly’s hand flies to her mouth, and she looks away quickly to hide her laughter. I shrug up at Troy, fighting off a smile of my own. “Sorry, you heard her.”
“Oh, come on. I’m sure we can make an exception to the rule.” He winks, and I want to gag.
“Dude, is there something you’re not getting about no sausage allowed? Unless you’ve got a secret in those jeans, you’re not welcome.”
He steps to the side so he can glance over at her and smirk. “Oh, I’ve got something for you.”
She rolls her eyes and nods. “Sure ya do, cowboy. Is it gonna be one of those things where I have to guess if it’s a tiny dick or a huge clit?”
I spray my drink across the table, and Carly throws her head back in laughter, unable to stop herself. All the while, Izzy just sits in her chair with a proud smirk on her face.
“Why don’t you come find out just how wrong you are,” he taunts, grabbing the front of his jeans, and once again, I want to gag.
“Aw, that’s cute but no. If I wanted to suck on a Jolly Rancher, I’d go to the convenience store across the street.”
“What the fuck?” he hisses, his shoulders tensing up as he takes a step back.
“It was great chatting with you Tony but we’re done here,” she says, waving at him, and his face turns the color of a tomato.
“It’s Troy,” he growls, and she nods, taking a sip of her drink and looking out at the crowd.
“Uh-huh. Buh-bye now.”
He stands there awkwardly, unsure of what to say or do for a moment before he growls and spins, stalking back into the crowd. He slips behind this tiny little thing who couldn’t be more than nineteen and makes eye contact with me, grinding his hips against her ass.
“Dude is delusional,” Izzy says, and when I look at her, she’s got her head cocked to the side as she watches the show he’s putting on. “Is that supposed to entice you? He looks like he’s having a seizure.”
I laugh, and she takes a sip of her drink, turning to look at me with a sympathetic expression on her face. “This guy’s got a tiny Johnson, and he has no idea what to do with it. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a man that doesn’t know how to use his own cock.”
“Oh my god,” I gasp through my laughter but she doesn’t stop there.
“Oh, what do you want to bet he’s one of those guys that just flops around on top of you, moaning to some old classic rock song while you pray for a sinkhole to open up under the bed.”
Tears streak down my cheeks as I struggle to breathe.
“You’re a menace,” Carly tells her, and she gasps, slapping her hand over her heart in mock horror.
“I’m not the one who marched over here and tried to piss all over poor Ali like I owned her.”
“Yeah, Car, he kind of deserved what he got,” I add.
She finishes off her drink, fighting back a smile. “I mean, I’m not saying you’re wrong but that was savage, Iz.”
Izzy shrugs. “Don’t fuck with my girls and I’ll be the sweetest bitch around.”
“Okay, so now that I’ve had a drink and put up with Troy, can we go back to my place and watch movies?” I ask, and Izzy nods, grabbing her bag off the table.
“Yeah, let’s get the hell out of here before I have to put someone else in their place,” she teases, and I laugh as we gather up our things and head out to relax at my house.
* * * *
My knee aches as Carly and I walk up to the front doors of our new office building but I’m happy to be starting this job without the crutches. I’ll probably be laid up on the couch tonight but it’s worth it.
“Nervous?” I ask, looking over at Carly, who is beaming.
“Hell, no. I’m so excited that I never have to go to that paper again that there’s no room for anything else.”
I nod in agreement. Since quitting my job only three days ago, I’ve had this weight lifted off of me, and I’m thrilled to get started on something new. We open the door and walk into a clean, modern lobby that feels comfortable and stylish. The receptionist looks up and smiles but before she can say anything, Mercedes is rounding the corner and coming toward us.
“Ali,” she exclaims, taking me by surprise when she pulls me in for a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
When she releases me, she turns to Carly and beams. “And you must be Carly, it’s so great to meet you. I spent the weekend reading some of your past articles, and I’m so happy to have you on the team.”
Carly blushes and holds out her hand. “Well, thank you. I’m excited to be here.”
“I have to tell you, the article about the crooked cops was amazing. I was riveted.”
She lets out a nervous laugh, and I smile. Carly is an amazing writer but she hasn’t gotten the recognition she deserves over at the paper. I’m so glad that I had the idea to bring her along.
“Gosh, you’re making me blush,” she jokes.
“I did have a question, though,” Mercedes adds, and Carly nods. “Whatever happened with all that? I looked for hours for a follow-up article but I didn’t see one.”
“Oh, I’m not really sure. Our boss, Mr. Klein, didn’t even want me to publish the first one but I’ve got a few friends over there, and they helped me sneak it past him. He was furious when it came out and wouldn’t even hear me out on a follow-up article.”
Mercedes rolls her eyes and sighs. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Hence, why we’re here,” Carly adds, looking over to me, and I smile at her.
“Right, of course. Well, follow me and I’ll give you a quick tour of the office.” She waves her arm for us to follow behind her, and we make our way down a hallway that branches out into a large open room with private offices lining both sides of it.
“This is our conference room of sorts. We meet in here once a week to talk about articles coming up and the schedule. We usually rotate pieces so there is something new on the blog for fans each day, but Ali, your column would be twice a week. We’ve already got so much interest in an advice column, and I can’t wait to get the first article out.”