Iris is in the kitchen, brewing tea when I find her and she casts a disapproving look over her shoulder when I walk in.
“I take it this is the thing you wanted to talk to me about?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“How long?” She pours tea into a mug for herself and holds up a second one to me. I nod again and she pours water in it before handing it to me.
“Six years.”
“What the fuck, Lucas?”
I stare down at the mug in my hand. “I know, Iris. I just… I thought I could handle it myself. Make him stop and then, at some point, it just became my life.”
“You should have known better. Addiction runs in your family, Lucas, and you’re better than this.”
“I just wanted to protect him. That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” I say, my voice cracking and she sighs, setting her cup down on the counter. Iris crosses the kitchen and pulls me into her arms.
“I know but this isn’t the way to do it. He needs real help - more than either you or I can give him and you deserve a life that’s made up of more than taking care of your baby brother.”
Nodding, I pull away. “You’re right.”
“Listen, I have to go to work in the morning but I’ll come home early and we can all sit down and have a talk, okay? We’ve got to convince him to get help because I never want to see him like this again.”
“Me either,” I agree.
“It’s getting late so I need to try and get some sleep. Do you need anything before I crash?”
I shake my head. “No, Riz. I’m good.”
She studies me for a minute before nodding and giving me another hug. Once she leaves the kitchen, I collapse into one of the dining chairs and set my cup of tea down on the table.
Fuck.
What a day.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out, hoping it’s a text from Quinn.
Quinn:
How fast can you get over here?
I decide to call her instead of texting her back.
“Hey,” she answers and at the sound of her voice, a sense of calm washes over me and I sigh.
“You have no idea how good it is to talk to you.”
“Yeah?” she asks. “Bad day?”
I nod. “The fucking worst.”
“Tell me about it.”
“It’s just my brother,” I answer like somehow she’ll accept that answer and she sighs.
“Tell me about it, Lucas.”
Before I know it, I’m spilling my guts and feeling better than I have since I dropped her off last night after our date but that’s what she does for me. Something about her makes all the shit just melt away. She’s the only thing that’s keeping me going lately and I don’t know what I’d do if I lost her.
* * * *
“Sleeping beauty awake yet?” Iris asks, walking into the kitchen and I shake my head as I take a sip of coffee.
“Nope. Still out like a light.”
She fills her travel mug with coffee before turning to me. “Have you checked on him?”
“Yeah, when I woke up.”
“You look tired,” she comments, sitting across from me at the table. “Did you sleep much last night?”
I shake my head. “No, I never do when I’m keeping an eye on him.”
“Lucas,” she whispers, picking at the corner of the table before her green eyes meet mine. “Was I too easy on you guys? I never wanted to drive you away but since you showed up last night, I can’t help thinking that I should have been more strict with the two of you when you were growing up.”
I reach across the table and grab her hand. “Don’t ever fucking think you didn’t do enough for us, Riz. We were homeless when you found us and I think we’d both probably be dead right now if it wasn’t for you.”
“But…”
“No,” I snap, cutting her off as I shake my head. “Clay and I were dealt a bad hand before you came into our lives. You’re the only reason we’re both still breathing.”
She nods, wiping away a tear and it shreds me. Iris may not be related to Clay or me biologically but she’s the only mother we’ve known for the longest time and I hate seeing her blame herself for this.
“I love you boys, you know.”
I nod. “I know and we love you, too.”
“Okay,” she breathes, releasing my hand and standing up before brushing her hands over her skirt. “I’d better get going to work. I’ll try to come home after lunchtime and we’ll all talk, okay?”
“Sounds good.”
Turning away from me, she grabs her purse off the counter before holding her coffee cup up in the air. “Thanks for the coffee, by the way.”
“You’re welcome,” I call as she walks into the living room. After she leaves, I relax back into my chair as open the paper, trying to do anything to distract myself from the impromptu intervention we’re having today.
“Motherfucker!” Clay’s voice bellows from down the hallway and I sigh as I set the paper down and wait for him to come into the kitchen. A few seconds later, he stomps in and slaps his hand against the wall. “You brought me to Iris’s?!”
“What else should I have done when I found you unconscious in the back room of a bar?”
His eyes narrow. “Take me to the club, just like every other fucking time, asshole.”
“That’s never worked before so I thought I’d try something different. Besides, the clubhouse was being used for something else.”
Sighing, he walks over to the coffee maker and pulls a mug out of the cabinet before slamming the door and I clench my teeth to avoid losing my shit over his hissy fit.
“I take it she left for work?” he asks after filling up his mug and I nod.
“Yeah, but she’ll be back after lunch.”
He shrugs. “Whatever. I won’t be here.”
“Actually, you fucking will.”
“Actually,” he sneers. “You don’t get to fucking tell me what to do anymore.”
Sucking in a breath, I mentally count to ten to get control of my anger before meeting his eyes. “Why are you doing this, Clay? We just want to help you.”
“I don’t want your goddamn help. Why don’t you just go back to your new family and forget I ever existed?”
“What are you talking about?” I ask.
“The club. As soon as you left home, you went and made yourself a new family so why don’t you just worry about them.”
“Is that what all of this is about? You feel alone?”
He laughs but it’s hollow. “Nothing in my life has anything to do with you.”
“The guys would welcome you with open arms.”
“No,” he mutters. “They wouldn’t.”
I nod. “They would if you were clean and I’d love nothing more than to have my brother back.”
I see the sharp retort right on the tip of his tongue but he pauses and I notice the longing in his eyes. It gives me a spark of hope.
“It’s your choice, Clay. You can choose something different. You can choose to have a family again and yeah, it’s not conventional but who cares? The family we were dealt kind of sucked so let’s make a new one.”