“Mmm,” he hums as he pulls back just enough to touch the tip of his nose to mine. “I can’t decide if I want to keep kissing you or find out what the hell smells so damn good.”
“You know, I think I would be offended if the best damn ribs you’ve ever had weren’t waiting for us in the kitchen.”
He pulls back and smiles as he laces our fingers together and shuts the front door. “Lead the way, then.”
Brooklyn’s eyes light up when we walk into the kitchen and she smiles, raising her arms above her head as Lucas chuckles.
“Hey, girlie. Did you miss me?”
“Dada,” she babbles and I suck in a breath, unsure how he’ll react but it doesn’t seem to faze him at all as he unbuckles her from the high chair and scoops her up into his arms before raising her above his head. She squeals and kicks her legs as she giggles and any qualms I have about telling Lucas about my past vanish. Despite the fact that we’ve only known each other for a short time, the truth is that I do know him and I know he’ll be just as amazing about everything I have to tell him today as he’s been all this time that I’ve been asking him to take things slow.
“You want to move her chair up to the table?” I ask as I turn to grab a couple plates.
“Sure.”
I start dishing food up onto plates and grabbing silverware when I feel his arms wrap around my waist. He pulls me into his body and presses his lips to my neck, sending a shiver down my spine.
“Anything you need help with?”
I hold up a plate. “You could help me carry plates over to the table.”
“You got it, baby.”
Between the two of us, we get the three plates, silverware, and glasses over to the table and as he gives Brooklyn a bite of mashed potatoes, I fill up her sippy cup with milk before joining them. I sigh as I sink into my chair.
“Long day?” he asks and I nod.
“I have a charity gala to put on in five days so every day is crazy this week.”
He nods as he picks up his fork. “Sounds stressful. Anything I can do to help?”
“You mean besides showing up every night to hang out with Brooklyn and me?” I ask since he has been doing that most nights anyway. He nods.
“Well, yeah, since that’s for me, not y’all.”
I bark out a laugh. “That’s not for us?”
“No,” he answers, shaking his head with a grin. “It is an entirely selfish move.”
“And here I thought you just liked me.”
He shakes his head again and my heart stalls in my chest. “Naw, baby. The word ‘like’ implies some middle school shit that doesn’t even come close to how I feel about you.”
“Oh, I see,” I whisper, a wide smile stretching across my face as my heart races in my chest. “Well, in that case, there is something you can do for me.”
“What’s that?”
“You can go rent a tux.”
His brows furrow as he studies me. “A tux?”
“Yeah. So you can be my date for the gala.”
“Done. Anything else?” he asks, his smile bright. I shake my head, surprised by how easily he agreed to be dragged along to my work function.
“Not at the moment.”
Our eyes meet across the table and he winks. “Well, you just let me know if there’s anything else.”
“I’ll be sure to do that,” I answer, fighting back a grin. Brooklyn shrieks, pulling our attention to her as she slaps her hands down on her tray and reaches for the plate of mashed potatoes. Lucas laughs and grabs the spoon.
“I’m sorry, Darlin’. Did we forget about you for a minute?”
She squeals and opens her mouth as he holds the spoon in front of her. As he gives her the bite of potatoes, I sprinkle some green beans on her tray and she quickly scoops one up and bites it in half.
“So, how’s your brother?” I ask and Lucas shakes his head.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I’ve gone out to look for him a couple times and I’ve put the word out that I’m looking for him but what you said about figuring out what I wanted really resonated with me and I’ve been trying to do just that.”
I smile as a feeling of pride wells up inside me. “Any progress?”
“Maybe,” he teases, meeting my eyes but when he doesn’t say anymore, I lose my nerve and decide not to push him. I’m in way too deep now and no matter how much I tell myself that I don’t need him to decide that I’m something he wants in his life, I’m dying to hear those words. We fit so well together and he makes me happier than I can remember being in a long time so it’s not hard to imagine a future for us. But what if he does all this soul searching I sent him on and realizes that he needs something else?
We finish our meal, making comfortable chitchat in between Lucas playing with Brooklyn and each time he turns to give her equal attention, my heart feels like it might explode from happiness. And the closer we get to the end of our meal, and the information I vowed to reveal to him tonight, the more nervous I get. Aside from Gram, Alice, and my therapist, I’ve never told anyone else this and just the thought of forcing the words out of my mouth makes my heart race and my mouth go dry.
“Damn, babe. You were right. These were the best damn ribs I’ve ever had,” Lucas says as he finishes his meal and I smile.
“It was my grandma’s recipe.”
He nods thoughtfully before sitting forward. “I just figured out something that I want.”
“Yeah? What is it?”
“I want family recipes. I want that history to pass down to my kids… which I guess means that I want kids, too.”
I glance over at Brooklyn. “I think, based on how good you are with her, that it would be a damn shame if you didn’t have kids. You’re going to make an incredible dad.”
“You really think so?” he asks and the vulnerability that I don’t usually get to see from him makes my heart ache for a whole new reason. Most of the time, it’s so easy to forget the crap that he carries around with him on a daily basis because he’s spent his whole life learning how to act fine while he’s slowly dying on the inside. It’s a side of him that I’m certain most people don’t get to see and the fact that he so willingly shows it to me means the world. I nod.
“I’m certain of it.”
He reaches across the table with a shy smile on his face as he grabs my hand. “Thanks, gorgeous.”
Brooklyn lets out a big yawn and we both turn to look at her as Lucas chuckles.
“I think someone is tired.”
I nod. “I think you’re right.”
As Lucas begins clearing plates from the table, I stand and unbuckle Brooklyn from her high chair but when I try to lift her into my arms, she starts fussing and reaching for Lucas.
“Looks like I’m chopped liver tonight,” I tell him and he glances over his shoulder. Brooklyn strains as she reaches for him and he chuckles as he sets the plates down on the counter and walks over to us.
“Is that better?” he asks after he picks her up. She shoves her thumb into her mouth and lays her head down on his shoulder as she looks up at me, her eyelids growing heavy.
“She’s going to pass out any second. Do you mind putting her to bed?” I would do it myself but I’m pretty sure that she’d just start fussing again. A part of me loves how much she likes Lucas but there’s a tiny little part that’s heartbroken she wants someone other than me. For thirteen months, it’s just been the two of us and Alice and I wasn’t prepared for this.