I study him for a moment before shrugging my shoulders. Okay, fine. What the hell could it hurt, right? Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than feeling like I’m living someone else’s life right now so I need answers.
“How did we meet?” I ask, picking at a loose string on the blanket draped over my legs as I glance up at him. He smiles and a dimple pops out in his cheek as I drop my gaze back to the blanket. God, he is handsome, I’ll give him that and by all accounts, he seems perfectly nice but he’s still a stranger to me.
“We met at a bar downtown. You and Nico were having a night out after you landed some big contract and the moment I saw you, I was hooked.”
“So you walked right up to me and asked me out?”
He laughs and shakes his head. “No, actually. Usually that would have been my go-to move but I got nervous and you left before I could work up the nerve.”
“And we ran into each other again?”
“Yeah, at a charity thing a couple weeks later. I’d been kicking myself for not talking to you and I couldn’t stop thinking about you so when I saw you again, I didn’t waste any time.”
His words don’t bring any memories rushing back but I enjoy hearing him talk about the way he felt when we first met. And it’s cute to see the slight blush in his cheeks as he details seeing me for the first time.
“Where did we go for our first date?” I ask as I slowly lean forward and grip the cup of water before bringing it to my lips. The pain medicine they’ve been giving me works pretty dang well but I’m still sore as hell.
“Fiji.”
I choke on my water and he jumps up, taking the cup from my hand as I try not to die. “I’m sorry, say that again.”
“We went to Fiji on our first date,” he answers with a knowing smile. My eyes widen as I study him and I lie back on the bed with a huff.
“Well, that seems a little… extra.”
“Maybe,” he agrees as he sits back down. “But after spending most of the evening with you the night of the event, I knew that I was already falling and I wanted to impress you more than I ever wanted anything in my life.”
I fight back a smile. “And was I impressed?”
“No.”
A laugh bubbles out of me and he joins me, shaking his head.
“In fact, you told me I looked like an asshole and you weren’t that kind of girl.”
I nod in agreement. “Damn right, I’m not… but surely I came around, right?”
“Only after you insisted on paying for half of the suite and informing me that there was absolutely no way we were having sex on that trip.”
“Good,” I answer, smiling as I nod in approval. I may not remember that girl right now but I’m damn proud of her. “Remind me how long we’ve been together.”
“Nine months.” He reaches over the bed rail and this time, I let him grab my hand. His touch is comforting and still a little strange but I stopped jerking away from his touch after the first few hours of being awake. I’m still not entirely comfortable with him just grabbing my hand anytime he pleases. The eagerness on his face and the desperate look in his eyes as he tries to force me into remembering something is frustrating, but then I remind myself how hard this has to be for him. The woman he loves doesn’t know who he is and jerks away from his touch. Even for the most secure man in the world, that has to sting. I can feel his pain, filling up this hospital room like fog.
“Do we live together?”
He smiles. “Yes, baby. We do.”
I nod, lifting my gaze to the window behind him. The sun shines brightly over the city of Miami and I sigh, wondering where I fit in all this. When the doctor came to check on me this morning, he mentioned possibly sending me home in the next day or two but I have no idea where my home is. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know which key to use. Hell, I wouldn’t even know if I was in the right apartment once I got in. Not to mention, that home feels like Baton Rouge right now, not Miami, but it does bring me a little bit of comfort to know that Gavin can get me home safely at least. I just don’t know how I’ll feel about being there with him.
“Miss Shaw?” someone calls from the doorway and I turn as an older man with salt and pepper hair in a sharp blue suit walks into the room. He flashes me a kind smile that instantly puts me at ease despite the fact that I am confronted with yet another person I don’t recognize. “I’m Daniel Robash, your father’s attorney.”
I sigh. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember you.”
“Oh, no. You wouldn’t, Miss Shaw. We’ve never met.”
Relief washes through me.
Thank God.
“Could we speak in private for a moment?”
“Of course.” I glance over at Gavin and he sighs, defeat flashing across his face before he’s able to hide it. Turning to me, he smiles and releases my hand before standing from his chair next to the bed.
“I’ll run home and grab a shower before coming back for the night, okay?” He leans over me and presses his lips to the top of my head as I resist the urge to shudder. God, I wish he would stop doing that. The hand holding I’m getting used to but kissing is still too much for me.
“You don’t have to do that. I’m sure you probably want to sleep in your own bed,” I reply, glancing down at the chair he’s been stationed in for Lord knows how long and he shakes his head.
“I’ll sleep at home when you do.” He kisses me again and my shoulders jerk up before I can stop them. His heavy sigh greets me and I’m overwhelmed with guilt. “Be back soon. I love you.”
I nod and bite my lip as he steps away from the bed with pain etched into his face. Does he expect me to say it back to him? Does he hope that if he says it enough times, miraculously my memory will return and everything will be right in his world again? I’m trying so hard to be understanding of his feelings in this messed up situation but I can’t pretend to feel something I don’t. I mean, Jesus… I woke up yesterday and my whole world is flipped upside down. I don’t recognize a single person in my life and my father, the one person I could always count on, is gone.
On top of all that, I have a man claiming to be my fiancé and telling me how much he loves me. And it doesn’t really matter how attractive I think he is or how much all the nurses keep telling me of his devotion to me because when I look at him, I feel absolutely nothing.
Sighing, I watch Gavin walk out of the room before turning back to my father’s attorney. “What can I do for you, Mr. Robash?”
“I’m sorry for the intrusion, Miss Shaw,” he says, offering me a sympathetic smile and I shake my head. Truthfully, I’m thankful for his interruption. I needed a break from the suffocating feeling of Gavin hovering over me. I needed just a moment to myself where I didn’t have to be a stranger’s fiancée or best friend. “And I’m so sorry for the loss of your father. I’ve known him for many years and he was a great man.”
Pain pierces through me as I stare down at my hands resting in my lap and nod. “Thank you.”
“I’m here about his will, actually.” He motions to the chair next to my bed and I nod. “Your father had very specific instructions for me in the event of his death.”