“Don’t know,” he answers with a shrug. “You’ll have to go talk to Diego. I promised not to hack into his files anymore.”
“That something you did often?” I ask, glancing over at him with a smirk and he shrugs again. That’s about as much of an answer as I’m going to get out of him. Streak got his road name for being the luckiest son of a bitch any of us had ever met but he is also really fucking smart and careful. He won’t ever say anything that would incriminate himself or that someone could use against him and his main goal is to be the smartest guy in the room and to be holding all the cards. I suppose that is also another point against him in a relationship, though.
“Ugh, just look at them,” he grumbles as I turn as Storm pulls his old lady, Ali, into his arms and kisses her before taking their baby girl, Magnolia, from her. My chest burns and I shake my head as I look away.
Fuck.
Streak is right.
Being around these guys and their never-ending happiness is fucking torture even on the best days but when all I can think about is this big secret that Piper has been keeping from me for God only knows how long, it’s unbearable. Someone turns some music on and “I Knew I Loved You” by Savage Garden starts playing.
“Aw, fuck,” Streak growls as Moose pulls Juliette out of her chair and into his arms. She laughs as they begin swaying back and forth and it feels like someone dropped a boulder in my stomach. “What is it with those two and that damn song?”
I shrug, remembering the winter formal I took Piper to our freshman year of high school where we danced to this song and my arms ache with the memory of holding her.
“You know, it’s not even a good song. At least pick a decent fucking song, right?” Streak continues and I just nod, my mind consumed with the memory of Piper in her black dress and her red curls falling down her back. Closing my eyes, I remember the way she leaned into me and the smile she flashed me all night long, like she was keeping a secret except that time, we were both in on it. I can still remember the way she looked up at me as we swayed together under twinkle lights and multi-colored streamers like we were the only people there. Her honeysuckle perfume fills my nose almost like I’m right back there with her in that gym and my heart thuds in my chest.
“Savage fucking Garden,” Streak hisses and I open my eyes, glancing over at him. He shakes his head, disgust rolling off of him as he finishes off his beer before standing up and turning back to me, pointing to my bottle. “You want another one?”
I shake my head. “Naw, I’m good.”
He heads back into the clubhouse and I lean back in my chair as I stare out at the rest of the club and their old ladies. A few of the girls have talked their men into dancing with them as well while Blaze fires up the grill and that damn ache in my chest only gets stronger. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I open the dating app that I haven’t gotten around to deleting yet and scroll through some of the girls on the site but no one snags my interest when all I can see is Piper.
Fuck.
She ruined me.
She ruined us.
Shaking my head, I cross my arms over my chest and do my best to steel myself against thoughts of her but it only works for a second before another memory slips through the cracks. I squeeze my eyes closed and suck in a breath as pain fills my chest and images flash through my head. Since she and I just went down to the courthouse to get married, we didn’t plan a reception or anything but my parents surprised us with a little get-together in their backyard with my family and some of our closest friends. It was a lot like the parties Blaze is so fond of throwing with good barbecue, good music, family, and lots of laughs. Before she left me, I considered that night one of the best of my life.
Hell, maybe it still is…
Maybe that is the whole fucking point. I can’t ever move on with my life because Piper still owns a piece of me that I’ll never be able to get back. She used to say that we were destined for each other and that after all of the bad that she had been through and all the pain she had endured, I was her reward. So then why the hell did she throw all of it away?
“Fuzz.”
Opening my eyes, I arch a brow as Blaze sits in Streak’s vacated chair and nods a greeting at me before he glances out at everyone dancing and laughing.
“Blaze,” I reply, following his gaze as my stomach clenches and jealousy rages through me.
Fuck.
How amazing would it be to be out there with all of them, Piper in my arms again…
Wait… What?
With a sigh, Blaze crosses his arms over his chest, mirroring my posture before glancing over at me. I wait for him to say something but he just stares like he’s waiting for me to start the conversation and I squirm in my seat.
What the hell?
“What?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing.”
Okay, then…
“Something I can help you with?” I ask when he still doesn’t tear his eyes from me and he shakes his head again, trying like hell to appear casual but I can see the wheels turning in his mind. That man is up to something.
“Uh… you need something?”
“Nope,” he answers, shaking his head as he turns to stare out at my brothers again as a smile tugs at his lips. “Sure is a nice picture, isn’t it?”
I follow his gaze to the couples out in the parking lot and nod half-heartedly. “Yep.”
“Let me ask you something…”
Oh, here we go.
“What?”
He turns back to me and pins me with a stare that radiates power and Blaze’s signature no-nonsense attitude. “You planning on pulling your head out of your ass anytime soon?”
“Excuse me?” I ask, jerking back as my eyes widen. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Do you think you joined this club without me doing my research on you?”
I arch a brow, still unsure about where this is going. “No, I suppose not.”
“So, then you know that I know about your wife.”
“Ex-wife,” I growl, sinking into my chair as I glare at the pavement and tightening my arms across my chest. He sighs.
“You haven’t signed the papers.”
I flick my eyes in his direction.
How in the fuck does he know that?
“What’s your goddamn point?”
“Look, I don’t know exactly what went on between y’all but I do know that you’ve been moping around this clubhouse for years, missing that woman, so throw your pride out of the window and go find her.”
“I am not missing her,” I snap, dropping my gaze to the ground as the pain in my chest seems to throb in agreement with Blaze’s words.
“Oh, save the bullshit.”
“I’m not bull…”
He holds his hand up, interrupting me as he rolls his eyes. “Save it. I know the look on your face too damn well. The only difference is, in your case, you can do something to change it but you’re just too stubborn to try.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I growl. Blaze’s story is a sad one for sure and there were things that were out of his control that kept him away from the woman he loved but it doesn’t mean our situations are the same. Piper cheated on me. Am I just supposed to let that go? He shrugs as he stands up.