She motions to Tate and a man across from me who can’t seem to sit still and I nod as I take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to relive the worst night of my life, and sit up a little straighter.
“Okay… My name is Piper and I’m here because… when I was nine years old, a man broke into my house and murdered both of my parents before trying to kill me.” I can feel Tate’s wide eyes boring into the side of my head but I keep going. “I never really learned how to deal with the pain of that and when my husband joined the Marines and deployed, I kind of lost it.”
Dr. Brewer flashes me a look full of displeasure at my attempt to break up the tension I feel coursing through my body and I sigh.
“I lived on the streets and I honestly can’t tell you what was real and what wasn’t. I was found on a park bench about a year later and taken to the hospital where I started getting the help I needed.”
Dr. Brewer nods. “Thank you, Piper. You have missed the last few meetings so is there anything new you would like to share?”
“Um…” I whisper, fighting back a smile as color stains my cheeks. “Yeah, actually. I reconnected with my husband after being apart for ten years and I told him the truth about what happened when I left him ten years ago.”
“And how would you say things are going?”
“Really well. Back then, I told him I had fallen in love with someone else… I don’t really know why… but when we saw each other again a month ago, he understandably wanted answers. Ever since I told him the truth, he’s been incredibly supportive and I feel really good. I am still just trying to take it one day at a time and I’m remaining very conscious of how I’m feeling but I’m happier than I’ve been in a really long time.”
She flashes me a wide smile, nodding in approval as she turns her focus to someone else. I know that won’t be the end of it, though. At my next appointment, she will want to delve deeper but I hope she can see how strong I feel and how happy I am. Tate nudges me, keeping her voice low as another member of the group begins telling his story.
“I’m sorry about your parents.”
I shake my head, never quite sure how to respond when someone says that to me.
“I know how you feel. My mother… she was murdered last year…”
Pain blooms in my chest as I reach over and grab her hand in silent support. I don’t offer her the same apology she did to me because I know it doesn’t make it any better.
“Anytime you want to talk, I’m available. Okay? I won’t have any answers for you but sometimes it helps to just get the words out there.”
She nods and I give her hand a squeeze before releasing it. The rest of the meeting passes quickly as I listen to how everyone else has been coping with their issues and when Dr. Brewer dismisses us, I pull my phone out of my pocket again, my belly flipping as I search for a message.
Still nothing.
“Hey,” I say to Tate. “Is Kodiak with the guys?”
“No. He insisted on taking me to see the baby doctor today after I had that little cramp at your place last night.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes,” she answers, rolling her eyes as we stand up and grab our chairs to stack them against the wall before we leave. A huge smile stretches across her face. “Although, you should have seen his face when they said they could see two babies in there.”
My eyes widen. “Twins? That must have been a shock.”
“Not for me. I’m a twin and my half brother was a twin before his brother died but I think Lincoln let that little tidbit slip his mind when I told him he had knocked me up.”
I laugh, imagining that big man freaking out over two little babies.
“Although, I did tell him I’m going to tase him during each contraction for doing this to me because that part is going to suck.”
“You guys certainly have an interesting relationship,” I answer with a laugh, remembering Kodiak’s comments about tasers at my house, and she flashes me a devious grin as we walk outside.
“Oh, you have no idea. We should grab lunch sometime and I’ll tell you all about it.”
I nod. “Deal.”
Her phone starts ringing and she rolls her eyes as she pulls it out of her pocket and checks the screen before flashing it at me.
“I gotta go before the caveman decides to ride down here to get me.”
I nod as I check my phone again, my heart dropping when I still don’t have any new messages. “Yeah, I gotta go find my husband.”
“Good luck with that,” she answers with a laugh as she walks to her car and waves good-bye. I stare at my phone for another second before dialing Wyatt’s number. It rings in my ear endlessly before his voice mail picks up and tears sting my eyes as I disconnect the call and shove my phone in my pocket.
“He’s okay,” I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut as my heart races. “He’s okay.”
“Hey,” a voice says and I open my eyes, glancing to my side as Lillian offers me a smile. “You feel like grabbing some coffee with me or something?”
I shake my head. “I really wish I could, Lil, but I’ve got to get home.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I answer before shaking my head. “I don’t know… It’s probably nothing but Wyatt hasn’t answered me back for a while now and I’m just worried.”
I close my eyes again, trying not to let the panic take over but all I can see is Wyatt hurt, a mangled bike and blood everywhere before the image of Wyatt with bullet holes all over his body pops into my mind. It doesn’t linger, there and gone in a flash but it’s enough to make me feel like I’m going to crumble.
“Hey,” Lillian says, her voice firm. “Look at me.”
I open my eyes and she grabs my shoulders, holding me steady.
“Take a breath.”
With my heart hammering into my ribs, I take a deep breath and keep my gaze locked with hers as a little bit of calm descends over me. She nods and I do it again, telling myself not to panic, that he is okay as my pulse starts to slow and my head feels clearer.
“You good?” she asks, eyeing me warily and I nod. Releasing me, she blows out a breath and shakes her head.
“Listen, Pip… I know you’re happy being with Wyatt again but I just want you to be careful… I don’t want to see you go backward because of him and if he’s not taking your needs into account, maybe this isn’t for the best.”
I shake my head. “It’s not like that, Lil. Wyatt has been amazing but I can’t expect him to be at my beck and call at all times just because I worry. I’ll talk to Dr. Brewer about ways to deal with it.”
“Promise me you’ll be careful and not rush things?” she asks and I can’t help but think that it’s a little too late for that. My friends know about Wyatt and me being back together and buying the house together but they don’t know about us trying to have a baby. I nod.
“I’ll be careful. I promise.”
She sighs. “Okay. Well, I guess I’m going to head home, then.”
“You should call Eden. I’m sure she would love to go grab a coffee with you.”