“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before I left Alaska? I mean, maybe I was safer up there.” Not that I have a burning desire to be back in Ketchikan but now I’m worried that I left one shitty situation for one that is even worse.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you and with you in Baton Rouge, I can make sure of that. Besides, not to be a dick, but what did you have up there now that Mom’s gone?”
He’s right but there is no way in hell I’m going to admit that. “Fuck you, Linc.”
“You can be pissed at me all you want, about that comment and the fact that I kept this from you, as long as you’re safe. Plus, I think this will be good for you. I don’t want you to be alone.”
“Shut up. I’m already almost there so you don’t need to keep campaigning. I’ll be in Baton Rouge tomorrow and that will be that.”
He sighs again and I roll my eyes. Goddamn it, I hate how smug he gets when he knows he’s right. “Good. I’ll text you the address for the clubhouse and we’ll see you tomorrow.”
I give in and after conceding to his demands to keep him updated during my drive tomorrow, I hang up and head into the restaurant to get something to eat. They are fairly busy so while I wait for my food, I tuck myself into a quiet corner and just people watch. My phone buzzes and my stomach flips when a text from Ash pops up on the screen.
Ash:
Hey. Where you at?
I haven’t spoken to him since the night I found him in bed with Holly and I guess I had naively hoped he already knew it was over but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I dismiss the notification as the man behind the counter calls out my number so I shove my phone in my pocket and grab my food before slipping back outside. There is a decent looking park with a cute little pond across the street from the motel so I walk over there before sitting down at a picnic table on the water’s edge. Millions of stars dot the sky above me, shining in the surface of the pond as a duck glides across the surface and I shake my head. Back in Alaska, it’s probably so damn cold that even walking to your car is miserable but here in Texas, it’s perfectly cool as I pull my food out of the bag and dig in. I’m halfway through my burger when another text comes in from Ash and I ignore it without even looking at it as I continue eating. He has to have noticed that all my clothes are gone, right? Then again, maybe he hasn’t. I really didn’t take much else. All the furniture in the apartment is stuff we picked out together and I had no interest in taking it with me so he might still be oblivious. The only things I took, the only things I truly cared about, were mementos and photos that were already packed away in a closet.
When I finish the burger, I throw the wrapper back in the bag and munch on fries as I look out over the park. Even though it’s essentially surrounded by the city of Lubbock, there is a peacefulness to it, almost like an oasis, that makes you forget for a second that you’re surrounded by buildings and traffic. It’s one of the things I was most worried about with this move. My favorite part about living in Alaska was being outside in nature and it is one of the things I am going to miss the most in Baton Rouge. I just hope I can find little places like this to keep me sane.
My phone vibrates again and I roll my eyes as I toss the rest of my fries in the bag and wipe my fingers on my jeans. Scooping up my phone, I open the text from Ash and roll my eyes.
Ash:
Please come home so we can talk, baby.
I stare at the message for a moment before deciding that I just need to be brutally honest with him. I hoped that after finding him in bed with my co-worker, he would realize that this isn’t working but that doesn’t seem to be the case. He’s clearly not catching on that this is over and I don’t want to drag this out anymore.
Me:
There is nothing to talk about, Ash.
I found you in bed with someone else and
I’m done. We’re done.
I press send and as soon as I go to set my phone down, it starts ringing. Ash’s photo pops up on the screen and I roll my eyes as I accept the call.
“Where are you?” he demands as soon as I answer. “I’ll come to you and we’ll work this out.”
I shake my head. “No, we won’t, Ash.”
“Rowan,” he pleads, desperation lacing his voice. “You can’t just throw the last three years away, baby.”
“Do you remember hearing that crash the moment you stuck your dick inside Holly? That was you throwing it all away, not me.”
He makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a whimper and I fight back a flash of disgust. “I made a mistake, baby. That’s all it was, a stupid mistake and I want to make it up to you.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Please, Rowan,” he pleads and I can picture him pacing back and forth in the apartment, raking a hand through his blond hair. “Just tell me where you are, okay? I’ll come meet you and we can really talk. I will do whatever it takes to fix this.”
I shake my head and sigh. “Let me ask you something, Ash… was that day the first time you fucked Holly?”
His silence is answer enough and I nod to myself, feeling strangely proud that I was right. Ever since finding him with Holly, I’ve been looking at our relationship with a magnifying glass because there were other times that I caught him in a lie and gave him the benefit of the doubt instead of searching for more answers. Like an idiot.
“And was Holly the first girl you ever cheated on me with?”
“Rowan…”
I shake my head. “No, I’ve heard enough. We’re done, Ash, and there is nothing else to say. Don’t call me again.”
I hang up as he protests loudly on the other end of the line but I don’t care what he has to say. My phone starts ringing again almost immediately but I reject the call before turning back to look out at the water, feeling confident in my decision. He may have gotten away with lying to me for a long time but now that I know, there is no way in hell I would ever take him back.
My phone rings again and I roll my eyes. Part of me just wants to chuck the thing in the pond and be done with it but Lincoln would lose his shit if he couldn’t contact me during the final leg of my journey tomorrow so instead, I turn my phone off and stand up to head back to my motel for the night. Knowing that our whole relationship was just one big lie, that I wasted three years of my life on a man who didn’t deserve me, hurts but I also have this feeling that I’m moving on to bigger and better things without him.
Chapter Four
Rowan
The last little bit of daylight streaks across the sky as I pull into the clubhouse parking lot and I breathe a sigh of relief, happy to finally be done driving. I swear, I need some food and then I need to just be a vegetable for a while after the day that I’ve had. The drive was actually pretty nice and traffic was tolerable but I spent my entire day dodging call after call from Ash and I am quickly approaching my breaking point. The first call came in around eight this morning, right as I was leaving the hotel and they’ve been nonstop since then. Honestly, at this point, I am tempted to answer the next one to tell him to go fuck himself. When I left Alaska, I told myself that if he ever reached out, I would be civil with him but he’s crossing the line into harassment now and I’m fed up.