I gape at him as he pulls away from me and grabs his bag. He starts heading for my bedroom, and I follow behind him. “You can’t just say end of discussion and expect it to be done.”
“I absolutely can with something like this. I’m staying here. End of discussion. I will put a bullet in every single part of his body if this fucker ever tries to come near you again. End of fucking discussion. No arguments because I will not lose you. End. Of. Fucking. Discussion.”
I try to think of something to say to him but I’ve got nothing. Besides, what he just said might be the hottest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Can you be terrified and turned on all at the same time? As he starts moving my clothes around and finding space for his own, I have to admit that I like having him here. And not just because I’m scared to even move right now.
“Fine, Logan. But you leave the toilet seat up and I’ll be the one with the gun,” I say and spin, walking out of the room as he throws his head back and laughs.
* * * *
“You want some more food, Babe?” Logan asks, standing up from the couch, and I shake my head, holding my wine glass out to him.
“I will take some more of that, though.”
He laughs and takes it from me. “Trying to get drunk tonight?”
I shake my head as he takes his plate into the kitchen, and I flip around on the couch so I can watch him. In the four days since he started staying with me, I think I’ve gotten used to having him around. He fits in like he belongs here, and I’m trying my hardest to not fall completely and totally head over heels for him, but I’m afraid it’s a losing battle.
“I’m gonna eat the rest of this. You sure you don’t want more?” he asks, pointing down to the chicken I made tonight. I shake my head again.
“I’m stuffed.”
Just as he’s picking up his plate, a sound comes from behind me, and I whip around, half expecting the boogey man to be crouching in the corner. The silence rings in my ears as I look all over for the source of the noise, and my heart starts pounding when nothing is out of place. Bear jumps to his feet and looks at the back door, lowering his head to the floor and letting out a low growl. I turn back to Logan, and he’s already got his gun in his hand as he creeps toward the back door.
Standing, I rush over to him, and he cradles my cheek in his hand. “Stay in here and do not open this door unless it’s me, you hear?”
I nod and he pulls me in, kissing me quick before he yanks open the French door and steps out into the night. Slamming the door closed, I lock it and pull on it to make sure it’s really locked before going to the island and curling up on one of the barstools. Bear sits at my feet, his gaze trained on the back door and his body tight. My heart pounds in my ears as I wait for something to happen, and the quiet is the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Adrenaline rushes through my body, and I reach over, grabbing the butcher knife out of the knife block, not taking my eyes off the back door as I move.
Once I have my knife, I hold it in front of me, ready to defend myself if I have to, and the seconds stretch into minutes and the minutes into hours as I wait for Logan to come back. Oh, God, what if something happened to him? Am I locked in my house with a madman just outside? The doorknob turns, and I gasp and scramble off the barstool, backing up further into the house with the knife held out in front of me. Bear barks, snarling as he gets between me and the door.
“It’s me, Kitten. Let me in,” Logan says from outside the door, and relief rushes through me as I race over and unlock it. He eyes my knife as he steps inside and sets his gun on the counter. I spin the knife and give him the handle end, and he forces a smile to his face.
“What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head and looks away from me. “Nothing.”
“Logan,” I whisper, placing my hand against his broad back, and he shudders, “please talk to me. Was someone out there?”
“No,” he says, spinning back around. “This is all just bringing up memories, and I’m not fucking handling it well.”
“Memories of what?”
He hesitates for just a second before sighing. “This is what I do all the time, protect women from shit like this, and now I can’t even protect you.”
“It looks like you’re protecting me just fine.”
“How do you figure?” he asks, motioning around the room. “You haven’t opened the blinds since you got that letter, and anytime you hear a noise, you jump sky high. This should have never happened to you. I should have stopped it.”
I lean into him. “And what could you have done to stop it? There are some things that are in your control and some things that aren’t.”
He looks away again, denying me his gaze but it doesn’t matter. I already know what I’ll find there. This whole thing is bringing up memories of losing his ex, and I feel guilty that I’m putting him through this.
“Don’t you get it?” he whispers, whipping his head forward to lock eyes with me as he steps into my space and presses himself against me. “I can’t stand to lose anyone else, Baby. Especially you. I can’t fucking do it again.”
My heart cracks clean down the center for him as he closes his eyes and presses his forehead to mine.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I assure him but instead of pulling away at my reassurance, he holds me closer.
“I can’t lose you,” he whispers, his voice a broken shell of the one I’m used to, and I grip his t-shirt in my fists, hoping to give him even a fraction of comfort. I grab his other hand and press it into my hip before sliding it up my side.
“I’m here, Logan. I’m right here.”
He pulls back, and when his eyes meet mine, I gasp at the raw need dancing there. His gaze drops to my lips, and his tongue darts out, wetting his bottom lip as he looks at me like he wants to devour me whole. Without a word, he slams his lips to mine and fists my hair in his hand, yanking me into his body. His other hand slips around my back and holds me against him.
This kiss is different than any we’ve shared before. It’s bruising in his frantic need for me, and instinctively I know that he just needs this right now. He needs to take me right now and feel like he’s in control of something so I surrender to him, ready for wherever he takes us. He shuffles us a little and presses my back into the counter, the cold granite making me shiver even through the fabric of my tank top.
Reaching down, he grabs one of my legs and guides it up around his hip as he grabs the other and pushes me back onto the counter. His fingers brush against my belly as his hand slips up under my shirt, and he pulls it over my head. After pulling away long enough to toss my shirt onto the floor, he’s grabbing me again and pulling me into his kiss. My nipples pucker in the cold air, and I moan when his warm hand closes over my breast.
“Logan,” I moan again as his hand starts massaging me, and he kisses down my neck. By now, I’m used to his dirty talk and the way he loves to tease but I get none of that tonight as he pushes me back on the counter. The cold stone presses against my bare back, and I gasp as he pulls my lounge shorts down my legs and rips my panties away.
Before I even have a chance to move or say anything, he’s pulling my legs apart and latching onto my pussy. My hips buck off the counter, and I cry out, my voice echoing a little in this big room. His fingers dig into the tops of my thighs as he holds me in place and laps at me again and again like he may never get enough of me. My entire body is buzzing, sensations stabbing me from everywhere, and I can’t focus on one long enough to enjoy it.