Now, I know what kinds of things lurk in the shadows.
Logan unlocks the door and steps aside, motioning for me to go in first, and he steps in behind me, shutting and locking the door behind him. Looking around my house, everything looks the same but it feels so different – tainted by the memories of someone stalking me.
“Do you want to sit?” he asks, and I peek over my shoulder just as he runs his hand over his hair.
“Why don’t you tell me what you want since you look like you’re about to fall apart?”
He looks down the hall before his gaze flicks to the living room. “In here is fine.”
I nod and march into the living room, ready to get this conversation started because he’s driving me crazy with his nervous tics. Sitting down on the couch, I fold my legs underneath me, and turn to face Logan as he sits next to me.
“I haven’t been completely honest with you,” he whispers, clearing his throat as he looks up at me.
“You lied to me?” My heart beats a little faster, the pain poised on the edge and ready to invade my body as I wait for his answer.
“No. I never lied to you. I just never told you the whole truth. Maybe you would have understood me better through this whole thing but I’ve done things, and the thought of losing you because of that…well, I couldn’t stand it.”
I nod. “I’m listening.”
He glances up at me and the uncertainty in his eyes breaks my heart. What could he possibly have to tell me that would make him so scared? Reaching out, I grab his hand and pull it into my lap, giving it a squeeze to encourage him.
“I met Sophia about a year after I was discharged from the Army. When she found me, I was in a dark place, Baby. I had lost friends over there and seen things that I thought would haunt me forever. I blamed myself for the death of my best friend, and she made it easier. She helped me work through it and deal with it all. I guess we needed each other because she had gotten out of an abusive relationship, and we helped each other heal.”
I nod, my eyes watering. I hate hearing about his pain, and if I could do anything to take it away, I would.
“Her ex, Ian – he was a nasty son of a bitch but his family came from old southern money, and he could put on a show better than anyone else I’ve ever met. She tried to get help but no one would believe her because he was just that good of an actor. One night, he beat her so bad that she could barely stand but somehow she stumbled out of their house and ran to a gas station that was just down the road. She barely made it in the door before she passed out in Blaze’s arms.”
I nod, the entire picture starting to come together in my mind.
“Blaze took one look at her face and carried her out to his truck. He knew he had to save her. Ian pulled up to the gas station and when he got out, not a hair was out of place but he had hit her so hard that his knuckles were bruised and swollen. Blaze told him that if he ever came around her again, he would put a bullet between his eyes, and believe me, back then he would have without a second thought.”
“I can’t even picture him like that,” I say, trying to imagine Blaze the way Logan is describing him.
“Yeah, he’s definitely changed a lot. That was close to when he decided to turn things around, and it’s because of the fact that he wouldn’t have hesitated to take a man’s life.”
“Is that how you met her?”
He shakes his head. “No, I met her about seven months later. I was working in the motorcycle shop owned by the club, and she came in to talk to Blaze. As soon as I saw her, that was it. We moved fast and soon I was living with her, and I was planning our future. What I didn’t know at the time was that Ian had been keeping an eye on her. He watched her, watched us together, and waited for the right moment.”
“Oh,” I whisper, suddenly understanding some of Logan’s reactions as we dealt with the same issue.
“It started off simple enough. Fi would see him somewhere but she didn’t think anything of it. Then, when we’d been together for six months, I proposed to her. She said yes and I was the happiest I’d ever been. But things started escalating quickly. Things were left at the house for her, and we got notes in the mail that scared her so bad that she’d just sit in a ball on the floor and shake.”
“Oh, Logan, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. And back then, I didn’t realize how serious it was. To me, they just seemed like a guy trying to get back with his ex but every time we got something from him, it scared the hell out of her. She never told me about her past, either. It wasn’t something that she ever wanted to talk about and I didn’t push her. Blaze told me everything, after the fact. One night, about a month after we got engaged, she called me. I picked up the phone but it was just static so I hung up and called her again.”
My stomach knots up, and my chest aches because I know this story isn’t going to end well, but all this time, I assumed that she had died in a car accident or was hit by a drunk driver. I never thought it could be something like this.
“Instead of Fi answering, it was Ian. He told me that he had my girl and that if I came to face him like a man, he would let her go. I was at the shop and Blaze insisted on coming with me with a couple other guys, including Chance. When we got to the field where he told us to meet them, he had her on her knees in front of his car with a gun to her head.”
His breath hitches, and I climb on his lap, straddling his legs as I press my lips to his cheek in an effort to be there for him but I have no idea if I’m doing any good. His hands slip up my sides, and he holds me as his eyes drift closed for a moment.
“I begged him to let her go, to take me instead, but he just laughed. He said if he couldn’t have her, then I couldn’t either and he…” He chokes on his words, and tears slip down my cheeks as I imagine what he’s going to say next. His hold on me tightens, and he takes a deep breath.
“He shot her right there in front of me. I’ll never fucking get that picture out of my head. I ran to her but she was already gone,” he says, his voice cracking, and I hold him tighter, sobbing into his shoulder and wishing there was more I could do for him.
“I love you,” I whisper, because honestly, I can’t think of anything else, and he holds me closer. “I’m so sorry, Logan.”
I can’t even imagine the hell that my situation has put him through, and it all makes sense now. Every single look and every single reaction makes perfect sense, and I regret that I put him through this again.
“Wait. There’s more I have to tell you, and if I don’t say it now, I don’t know that I ever will,” he says, pulling his head back to look at me as he blinks away the tears that were filling his eyes. I run my hand down his cheek, and he shudders.
“The guys, they grabbed Ian and threw him in the back of someone’s truck while Blaze called his buddy at the police station, who happened to be Fuzz. Fuzz came out with a couple detectives, and as they took Fi away, he promised me that I would get my retribution.”
My stomach sinks, and I wonder just what he did to this man.
“God, Kitten, please don’t leave me for what I’m about to tell you. I fucking love you, and I can’t lose you.”