Cosima looks frustrated at my question.
"They went to orgies. Everyone knew. They were the most debauched events; the things people would say about what went inside those events..." She shakes her head.
Orgies? I don't think I've heard that term before. I'd ask her what it means, but I don't think my question would be received well, so I just nod and let her continue.
"They would have even ten women in a night. Sex, drugs, alcohol. Every debauched thing in the book. Some rumors say they even had animals." Her face is horrified as she recounts this.
I'm a little disturbed at her descriptions that I even tune out some words.
"Sodomy and the likes." She shudders. "I'm extremely surprised your brother accepted the match. He must have known."
My face is blank at this point, and I remember snippets of Enzo's disapproval of Marcello. At the time it made little sense... But what if... No! I shake myself. I can't just trust whatever she's saying.
"I see." I simply reply. She continues chatting away, regaling me with more lurid tales about the Lastra family.
"Why, his mother killed herself. And then there's that third wife. She killed herself too. I wonder if there might be a curse."
I'm so shocked by what she's saying that I just smile and nod.
Finally, she changes the subject.
"Look at them. Don't they look good together?" Cosima gushes about Sisi and Rafaelo.
I turn in their direction, and they seem cozy. They are sitting a little too close together, and Rafaelo's head is tilted towards Sisi intimately. Sisi, too, is smiling and talking animatedly with him.
I'm stunned by this development. Blocking everything Cosima told me out of my mind, I take a moment to focus on the two of them.
They are around the same age, with Rafaelo only two years older at twenty-two. But considering his problems, I wonder if Sisi isn't just being kind to him.
When the visit draws to a close, I take Sisi aside to ask her how it went.
"I like him. He's sweet." She replies and blushes.
"Sweet." I repeat, a little taken aback. "That's great!"
"I'd like to keep seeing him, if that's possible." She seems enthusiastic about this, and I'm happy for her. If she likes Rafaelo and wants to befriend him or more, why shouldn't she?
"Of course! I'll talk to Marcello."
After I assure her I will put in a kind word for them with Marcello, I retire to my room.
ALONE WITH MY COMPUTER, curiosity gets the better of me, so I search the web for orgy. I'm not sure what to expect, but it isn't what I find.
According to one urban dictionary, an orgy is five or more people having sex.
I frown and take a second to comprehend what I'm reading. How does that work?
I search a little more and I enter a different page. A video starts playing, loud moans coming from my speakers. I immediately shut down the laptop, mortified.
What if someone heard that?
Embarrassed at what I stumbled upon, but still a little intrigued, I open the laptop again, muting the volume. The video shows a few people, all engaging in sexual acts together. In a way, it's not unlike what I'd witnessed Allegra doing.
Is this what Marcello likes?
Suddenly I feel insecure. Surely that... just thinking about him doing that makes me feel ill. I don't know if it's because I'm uncomfortable with the acts themselves, or jealous that he was with others before me. Or maybe it's because I'd never be able to do that for him.
I shake my head, noting the dangerous turn my thoughts are taking.
Yeah, I may never do that for him, but surely there are other ways to please him. I continue to browse the web, reading different articles and getting a little more familiar with this intimate business. To my great surprise, there are even tutorials.
Engrossed in this new world, I barely realize when Marcello comes inside my room. I try to look unconcerned as I slowly put down the laptop.
"Done?" I ask with a smile.
He nods absentmindedly. "I'll go take a shower first."
He goes to the bathroom, and I quickly go back to the tutorial I'd been watching, trying to memorize the steps. Once I'm relatively confident, I make my way to the bathroom.
I knock on the door.
"Can I come in?" I ask, hoping he will welcome my interruption.
"Yes." He shouts, and I open the door.
I tentatively step inside. Marcello is in the shower cabin, and the clear glass leaves nothing to the imagination. He seems to surprise to see me.
"Did something happen?" He frowns and makes to step out of the stall.
"No." I answer, my hands fumbling with the zipper of my dress. Damn, I should have undressed before coming here.
His gaze is on me, and he's watching me intently. I get out of my clothes, and I walk towards the shower.
I try to seem as confident as the girl in the video had been, even though my nerves threaten to get the best of me.
The water is on, the steam enveloping my skin the moment I get inside the stall.
"Lina, what are you..." Marcello starts, but I don't let him finish. I raise myself on my tiptoes to kiss him. A deep groan escapes him when our lips touch, and his hands come around my waist, drawing me into him.
He's already hard. I feel him straining against my stomach, and this makes my plan even easier.
Breaking the kiss, I lower myself to my knees. His eyes darken as he watches me take him in my hand. I touch him like he taught me, up and down. His head falls back, a small sound escaping his lips.
"Lina," his voice is breathy, and the way he reacts under my novice touch makes me gain even more confidence.
I tilt my head and open my mouth, taking him inside. He's soft yet firm, and it's not at all unpleasant. My tongue stretches out to caress the tip and Marcello's hand goes to my hair, suddenly urging him on. I open wider to take all of him inside my mouth, but I'm only halfway when I start gagging.
He must have heard me, because he lets go, taking a step back.
"Lina... what are you doing?" His expression is horrified.
"I want to please you." I look up, confused at his sudden outburst.
"Why would you do this?" He shakes his head. Stopping the water, he makes to exit the stall.
"Did I... did I do something wrong?" I ask, a little unnerved. I'm still on my knees, afraid that if I try to stand up, my legs would turn to mush.
"This isn't you. You don't have to do this... Damn it." He mutters, his hand reaching out for a towel. He wraps it around his waist, his member still visibly aroused.
"But you liked it in the past." Seeing him about to leave, the words are out of my mouth before I can think.
"What do you mean?" He stops, narrowing his eyes at me, and I suddenly feel exposed.
"It doesn't matter." I whisper, a little embarrassed that I'd let Cosima's words poison my mind when Marcello seems to hate this.
"No, please tell me what you meant." He stoops down.
"Cosima told me about your past." I confess. "About the orgies. And I thought..."
"Orgies. " He gives a dry laugh. "And you thought what?" He raises an eyebrow at me.
"That it's what you want." I lower my gaze, shame eating at me. "I can't do that for you... but maybe there are other ways to please you." I explain, but he stops me.