Dad had stirred awake in the shuffle, and his momentary nap appeared to have only made him crosser. “I’m not staying here tonight. I’m going home.”
“And what happens when you fall asleep in the car on the drive home?” I said, laying down a throw pillow and retrieving a blanket from the armchair. “Teddy won’t be able to carry you into bed on his own. So it’s our couch or your car.”
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child,” he slurred as Noah and Teddy lowered him onto the sofa.
“That’s the most effective means of communication when you decide to pickle your liver in a vat of bourbon.” I held out the blanket and waited for Teddy to remove Dad’s shoes before I tossed it over him.
“You’ve got a smart mouth for someone who didn’t bring one intelligent thing to the table during the course of our investigation.” Dad coughed as Teddy helped him lay back.
I was about to reply with some variation of my standard sarcastic riposte to one of my dad’s digs when Noah appeared beside me, making no subtle effect of the way he was towering over him.
“Stop talking, Silas,” Noah uttered slowly, succinctly, not blinking as he stared at my father.
“Or what? You’re going to make me?” Dad laughed, though he was the only one.
Instead of answering him with words, Noah’s confirmation came in the form of a pointed stare and cocked brow.
For one of the few times in his life, Dad shut his mouth.
Did he see the monster within? Could he sense it lying dormant, waiting for an opportunity to be set free?
How had I missed it? How had I never so much as caught a glimpse of the darkness that hid inside the man I’d shared my life with for nearly two decades? I wasn’t sure if it was ignorance on my part or intelligence on his, but his secret was exposed. I had a decision to make and no idea how to begin.
“Why don’t you go up and change?” I whispered to Noah. “I can handle him.”
His light eyes secured on mine for a moment, and I saw it. The weight of a man burdened by ghosts of his past. The creature who’d been spawned from the ashes of regret and torment. Avenging and killing was the beat his heart pulsed to. The lifeblood in his veins. The centering theme of his life.
His hand trailed across my lower back as he passed me to go upstairs. A tremble shuddered up my spine, though I was unsure of its origination. Fear or thrill? They were too similar in sensation to distinguish between.
“I can stay. Keep an eye on him tonight,” Teddy said as he settled Dad’s dress shoes on the floor at the end of the couch.
“No, you head back and get some rest,” I replied, turning off the lamp beside the couch. “In the morning, I’ll drive him home or call him a cab. Depending on how he wakes up.”
Teddy laughed a note. “Too early to place bets?”
“You’re a good man for putting up with him when he’s like this.” I smiled at him as we wandered to the front door. “Thanks for driving him. We’ve got enough to deal with tomorrow without hearing about the great Silas Payne wrapping his Lincoln around a street lamp.”
He waved it off. “Despite this Huntsman search coming to an abrupt end, I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot of each other over the next few days, so I’ll say good night instead of goodbye.”
“To receive our tongue-lashings and have our intelligence questioned. Looking forward to it.” I sighed while unlocking the door. “If I were you, I’d catch the first plane back to Texas and pretend this was all some bad dream.”
He hovered in the doorway. “Is that your plan?”
“I wish.” I held my smile as I accepted that this night would reshape my family’s life forever. The path we’d been on had ended, a new one being carved for us.
Teddy removed his hat from his head. “For what it’s worth, Grace . . .” He cleared his throat. “I’d be damn proud to call you a daughter if you were mine. Some people refuse to see the good in anything, you hear? So don’t give it too much thought.” His gray eyes landed on where Dad was passed out on the couch.
“I’m afraid I’ve been giving it too much thought for nearly four decades.” I took in my dad in a new light. With different eyes. Why was I so desperate for the approval of a person who didn’t possess a single quality I admired? Everything inside me relaxed, one invisible knot at a time. “But not a day more.”
Teddy slid his hat back on once he stepped outside. “Good night then.”
My attention drifted to the night sky. Not a single star was cutting through the cover of clouds, but I knew behind all the shadowy cover, glimmers of light still shone. “Good night.”
I lingered for another moment before the cold air coaxed me back inside. After locking the door, I flicked off another lamp and padded toward the couch. The blanket was sliding off of him, so I adjusted it, drawing it over his shoulders.
He stirred when I started to leave. “I should have known better than to expect something great of you.” His cough rattled deep in his chest, his glazed eyes locking on me. “Like solving this case or making state’s prosecutor before you turned forty.”
The sting of his words didn’t reach its normal depth. “I’m not forty yet.”
He tossed the blanket off, letting it crumple on the floor. “Hell, forty or four hundred, you’ll never make state’s prosecutor.” His half smile was mocking, edging on malicious. “All dreamer and no doer.” Another cough rumbled in his chest. “Such a disappointment.”
I stopped moving, expecting a wave of dejection to shake me. None came.
“Thank you. Thank you for reminding me what’s important in life.” I didn’t glance back as I continued toward the kitchen. I flipped off the last light in the room and left him to keep his own company. “And what’s not.”
When I emerged into the kitchen, I froze when I saw Andee standing by the sink in her pajamas, the look on her face telling she’d heard the entire conversation.
“I’m sorry you had to hear that.”
She picked at the frayed cuff of her oversized sweatshirt. “I’m not.” Her shoulders moved. “Compared to that, I hit the fucking jackpot with my parental units.”
I blinked at her, a smile pulling at my mouth. “This ‘parental unit’ doesn’t know whether to ground you or hug you for that statement.”
She stopped picking at her sweatshirt. “A hug would be nice.”
Moving toward her, I opened my arms to scoop her up. I couldn’t remember the last time she’d admitted to wanting or needing a hug. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt the same.
“Yes, it would,” I whispered into her hair after pulling her close.
Andee’s arms wound around me, the strength in them surprising given their size. “I’m sorry you’ve got such a shitty dad.”
An amused sound rattled in my chest. “I’m sorry you got stuck with a shitty mom as a result.”
Her laugh echoed against me. “Not shitty, just maybe kinda detached.”
“Keeping my distance was my way of not hurting you.” I leaned back enough to look her straight-on. “If I maintained a space between us, I couldn’t do too much damage. That was my theory, at least.”