The screaming in his head was now accompanied by a voice asking him why he hadn’t just said yes. He could have confessed his undying love and devotion and…and…
Utterly betrayed her trust by crossing the line of professionalism, by taking advantage of her in a moment of vulnerability.
“Annalise, hey there.” Walt shifted, an easy smile on his face, his eyes kind. “Can I touch your wrist? I’d like to check your pulse.”
Mutely, she dropped her right arm to lay across her lap.
Walt tapped his smartwatch, starting a timer, then found her pulse. After half a minute, he looked up. “Your pulse is a little fast, so I’d like you to take a few slow, deep breaths for me. And maybe a glass of water?”
The last was addressed to him. Jakob stared at Walt, then pointed toward the door that led to the dining room and kitchen. He wasn’t going to leave Annalise.
Walt looked back and forth between them and then said, “Okay, I’ll go find some water.”
When Walt was gone, Jakob let down his guard. Not all the way, of course. Without his walls up, his self-control dialed to nine, he talked too much. Said stupid, inane things no one wanted to hear.
And while his ability to remain quiet hadn’t been a natural part of his personality, rather something that had been beaten into him—literally—right now, Annalise needed him to be calm, to comfort her.
He eased up on his control so that when he moved to stand in front of her and she met his gaze, he smiled, just enough that she smiled in turn. Seeing her smile made him feel like everything was right with the world. As if for all the good and bad he’d done in his life, he knew how to make this woman feel safe. How to make her smile. And that was a worthwhile achievement.
The door opened, and Jakob retreated a few steps.
Walt sat down on one of the footstools and passed Annalise the glass.
She took it, her hand shaking.
Jakob put his hands behind his back so she wouldn’t see his fists clench.
Over the next five minutes, Annalise drank the whole glass of water, and Walt checked her pulse a second time, confirming that it had slowed.
Annalise finally relaxed enough to let go of her bag, which Walt took from her, placing it, and her empty glass, on the floor.
Jakob needed end tables in this room, one for each chair. What kind of end tables did she like? Maybe the guy who made the chairs would make end tables with hidden weapons drawers.
“I’m so sorry, Dr. Hayden,” she said softly.
“Walt,” he said. “And sorry for what?” Walt gave her an easygoing, friendly, reassuring grin that Jakob could never have managed. He wasn’t sure his face could make that expression if he wanted it to.
“For putting you in danger.”
“That was Eric, not you, and that was not nearly as alarming as Eric showing up covered in blood in the middle of the night.”
Jakob made a mental note to check if the Spartan Guard, the poor, cursed bastards whose job was to protect the fleet admiral, had sent a cleanup crew to deal with whatever had left Eric bloody. He doubted they had, since no one in the Masters’ Admiralty, except now himself and Annalise, knew where Eric was.
Of course, technically, he no longer knew.
And then he remembered that Eric had forbidden him from telling the Spartan Guard—actually anyone in the Masters’ Admiralty—that he was here.
“I’m the reason we were in danger,” Annalise insisted quietly. “I’m the one he was after.”
Walt nodded as if he understood but shifted just enough to shoot Jakob a quick look. Odd that he understood exactly what Walt was asking—Do you know what she’s talking about?—when they’d only met yesterday.
Jakob had so much he wanted to say to her, so many reassurances he wanted to offer.
You owe no one an apology. You are strong and brave and wonderful, and someday I’m going to kill the man who’s tormenting you. I will kill him and make him real and mortal, not the dark, terrifying monster I know you see in your dreams.
Out loud, he said. “It wasn’t him.”
Annalise’s lips trembled. “You don’t have to lie to me so I don’t feel guilty.”
“I don’t lie.” That was a fat lie.
Annalise blinked and then her shoulders straightened, and she tipped her head ever so slightly. “Everyone lies, Jakob. I know you’ve sat in on that particular lecture at least once.”
He could have cried with relief at seeing her looking so controlled and composed. Looking like, sounding like, herself.
He would never say it aloud, but he wished he’d known her before. Before the trauma of the stalking, and then her sister’s attack, had robbed her of her self-assurance and confidence.
“Not him,” Jakob said again.
Annalise studied his face, and then her expression relaxed ever so slightly, but she didn’t just take his word for it. “How do you know?”
“There were three, maybe four people. Watching us.”
Annalise’s eyes widened. “That many? And you’re sure they were after us?”
“When you went into the kitchen, they stood up,” Jakob replied.
“If there were that many of them, shouldn’t they have been able to catch us? I mean we weren’t walking that fast.”
“We took evasive measures.” Jakob didn’t think he needed to go into more detail than that, but she also had a point.
“Or they weren’t interested in us and followed Eric,” Walt suggested.
That was what he’d been thinking.
“We need to tell someone,” Annalise said.
“Can’t.” The fleet admiral had expressly forbidden it at their first meeting in her office.
“Who do you think was following us…well, him?” Walt asked Annalise. “The people he mentioned? Someone else? Or is it top secret, secret society stuff?”
Annalise didn’t tighten up or retreat the way Jakob expected her to. Instead, she turned her attention to Walt. “You are not a member of…”
“Of the Masters’ Admiralty? No. But my sister is. She’s married to a knight in England. Guy’s name is Lancelot Knight and he sometimes carries a sword, if you can believe it.”
Annalise’s lips twitched.
Jakob grunted.
Walt made a face. “Crap. What’s the German word for knight?”
“Ritter,” Annalise said cheerfully.
“Aaaaand that’s what Eric called you. Sorry, man. Oh shit, wait. You had a sword, didn’t you?”
“He did.” The longer they spoke, the more Annalise came back to life, shaking off her earlier shock.
Jakob stared at Annalise. She was clearly enjoying this, her humor, her genuine happiness something he’d only caught brief glimpses of. She grinned at him and his heart skipped a beat.
“I was jetlagged. That’s my excuse for not taking note of that fascinating detail,” Walt declared. He shook his head in apparent amusement at himself.
Jakob admired Walt’s entertaining, while self-deprecating, manner of speaking. His calm assurance and confidence might have come from being a doctor, might just be who he was, but it meant he had no problem making fun of himself.
They were all quiet for a moment, but it wasn’t awkward, especially when Walt slid from the ottoman to one of the other chairs, leaning back and sighing.