I let Tami make me a drink even though it’s only afternoon.
“Do you think it’s possible for a person to love two people at the same time?” she says, like it’s a rhetorical question.
Yes. Yes, I do.
“Do you love Vaughn?” I say.
She turns her back to me. “Isn’t this a great view?” she says.
* * *
• • •
Daddy takes me out for lunch and clothes shopping in the city. He pretends he’s not crying as I pick out a new coat for college.
“You know I’ll call you every Sunday,” I say, but that makes him cry more.
* * *
• • •
“Come over,” Ivy says.
“I can’t. I have to have dinner with my family. Do you want to join us?”
She has no idea what I’m talking about.
* * *
• • •
Tami makes me another drink. It’s her way of being generous.
* * *
• • •
“Come over after dinner,” Ivy says. “I’ve been doing this thing where I jump into the Sound and then get in the hot tub. It’s supposed to be good for your heart or something. The shock from cold to hot.”
* * *
• • •
Tami says, “Let’s go for a drive. Let’s take your car.” Why in the world would she want to take my car?
* * *
• • •
Daddy sniffles. “You look beautiful. Let me take a picture to send your father.”
“It’s just a coat, Daddy.”
“But it’s a great coat. It will keep you warm.”
* * *
• • •
Slumming it.
That’s what I am to Tami. I am the friend version of Vaughn.
* * *
• • •
“No,” I tell Tami. “Let’s take your car.”
* * *
• • •
But maybe she loves him.
* * *
• • •
The tram speeds Daddy and me over the parts of the city where people like us don’t go, fast through its noise and bustling anonymity, back to the ferry terminal to go home. A tall chain-link fence topped with barbed wire protects us from the masses, lined with protest posters and graffiti that will be removed soon, and replaced, and removed again.
* * *
• • •
“Do you like your job?” Ivy says.
* * *
• • •
Tami sideswipes a car in the coffee shop parking lot.
* * *
• • •
Someone throws a rock that makes it through the fence, and I jump at the impact as it hits the window of the tram, right by my head.
* * *
• • •
The island is starting to feel small, claustrophobic. The trees tilt inward. Vines consume the house.
* * *
• • •
“I could give you a job,” Ivy says. “You could be my assistant or something. I could basically pay you to do nothing.”
* * *
• • •
Tami keeps driving after she hits the car. “Aren’t you going to leave a note?” I say.
* * *
• • •
The rock only made a small ding in the tram’s window. Nothing was shattered.
* * *
• • •
My home, once a haven, feels like a tiny boat drifting out at sea, with no motor or sails or oars, at the mercy of whatever tides push it around or whatever stillness it gets stuck in.
* * *
• • •
I tell Ivy yes.
Goodbye, fake antique watering cans. Goodbye, T-shirts of otters holding hands.
* * *
• • •
“Why would I leave a note?” says Tami.
“To exchange insurance information or something. So that person can get their car repaired.”
“That’s their business, not mine.”
“But you hit their car.”
“But no one saw me.”
“You should be more careful,” I tell her. I try to make my voice strong, but it sounds like pebbles bumping into each other under a wave.
“Other people are careful so I don’t have to be.”
* * *
• • •
We have no motor or sails or oars.
* * *
• • •
“Hey Tami, can I see your phone? I’m thinking of getting that kind.”
“Knock yourself out.”
Contacts:
Search:
Ash.
Share contact.
* * *
• • •
Papa said dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes. I am in my tree, looking west, waiting for Ivy’s silhouette in the house made of windows.
* * *
• • •
I am a boat drifting out to sea.
* * *
• • •
Ash’s reply is immediate: I was wondering when I’d hear from you.
15
It is not difficult to betray Tami. I know she’s in the city tonight, with Vaughn. She is making this too easy.
But I didn’t want Ivy and Ash’s meeting to happen at my house. I love my home, but it’s so small and open, and the thought of Daddy undoubtedly being there hovering and wanting to talk to Ash and ask him about his dad, and being all starstruck and overly friendly to Ivy—it’s too embarrassing to think about. So I came up with an even more ridiculous idea.