“You could have talked to us,” Sawyer said.
Harper shook her head. “No. I never would have done that. I spent my entire life trying to protect you two. I never would have dreamed of putting such a burden on either of you.” But she understood in that moment that, in the end, she had done exactly that.
“If I could turn back time and do things differently, I would,” Harper said. “But I can’t.” She wiped her eyes and then straightened so that she was standing tall, even though she wanted to collapse. “I need to go to the police and tell them everything.”
“No,” Aria said.
Harper frowned.
“You’ve paid your dues,” Aria stated firmly, as if there would be no further discussion about going to the police. “Your entire life has been a shit show of abuse. If you file a report, you’ll be arrested for aiding and abetting, and Sawyer could go to jail for being an accessory after the fact.”
Aria’s hands were rolled into fists at her sides. She let out a low growl as if she couldn’t hold in her frustrations any longer. “After all we’ve been through, what sort of justice would that be? You would not have harmed Otto Radley, a man who never should have been released, if he hadn’t been going to kill your friend. You had no other choice.” She put a palm to her chest. “I know that for a fact because any one of us would have done the same thing.”
Nate had been quiet while everyone else talked, but he cleared his throat and said to everyone in the room, “I fell in love with Harper the minute I laid eyes on her.”
Harper’s eyes filled with fresh tears.
“I knew she was in pain,” Nate said, “but I didn’t know why. When she told me what was happening to her and her sisters in River Rock, we started making plans to get all three of you out of that house and away from that town. Since that time, I have stayed in the background, content to let the three of you figure out where you stand with one another.” He paused for a second or two. “Your time is up. It’s my turn to speak and to let you all know that from here on out, we’re going to handle things my way.”
Harper, Aria, and Sawyer all opened their mouths at once, but Nate shut them down. “I’m going to have my say, and then you two”—he gestured from Aria to Sawyer—“are going to leave us alone.”
He walked over to Harper and took her hand in his. “In all these years we’ve been together, I’ve never once told you what to do.”
Harper nodded.
“But I’m telling you now, and I expect you to listen and listen good. Let it go. Can you do that? Relax. Right now. And let it go. Stop trying to fix everything. Stop trying to change me and the kids. We’re fine just the way we are. And so are you, which is why you need to let the past go. What happened to you was tragic. Killing a man to save your friend must be eating away at you, and I’m sure you’ll never ever forget it. Nobody expects you to. But it’s over. All of it. Nothing good can come out of you trying to take control and change things, because no matter what you do, it won’t change the past. The tighter you cling to memories of your father and what he did to you, the longer you hold on to the darkness. The more you resist, the longer you’ll suffer. Let it go, Harper. Not for me or your children or every woman out there who has been wronged, but for you. Give yourself a fighting chance and let it go.”
Aria walked over and joined the huddle. Sawyer did too.
Harper knew that Nate was right. It was time to let it all go and start over. This was her family. Somehow, some way, she and her sisters had seen the worst of humanity. All three of them had been raised by monsters, neglected and abused, and yet they were stronger for it. She would never let any one of them down again.
It was just past noon when Sawyer left Harper and Nate’s house. She could hear Aria’s footfalls close behind as she made her way to her car parked at the curb.
“Do you think Harper will be able to let it go?” Aria asked.
Sawyer opened the door to her car and said, “I think she’ll listen to Nate, but none of us will ever forget what happened in River Rock, let alone Harper’s involvement with The Crew.”
“I do wish she could have talked to us.”
Sawyer nodded in agreement. “Nate was right when he told her she needed to find a way to let it all go. In the end, every one of us needs to find a way to forgive ourselves for the choices we’ve made and then do our best to keep on going.”
“True.”
“What about you?” Sawyer asked. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I’m good. I’m also stronger than you think.”
Sawyer smiled. “I’ve always known you were tough.”
“Do you think the police will see through Lena Harris’s confession?”
“No telling,” Sawyer said. “The entire Sacramento Police Department is overworked as it is, so I guess it depends on who’s working the case.”
“They released Bruce Ward’s wife, Sandra,” Aria said.
“That’s a relief.”
“You don’t really think that Lena Harris killed Nick Calderon and Bruce Ward, do you?”
“No,” Sawyer said before another thought came to her. “I didn’t want to say anything about the Copycat Killer in front of Nate earlier, but I was wondering whether or not you were able to visit Stanley Higgins.”
Aria made a face. “I did and it was horrible. Have you ever been to a taxidermist?”
“No.”
“Well, I think I would have been fine if I hadn’t seen what he had in his back room. Preserved animals with human faces made from wax.”
“What?”
“Not kidding you.”
“What did Stanley Higgins look like?”
“Five foot nine, heavyset, slow walker, slow talker, monotone, quiet voice, and creepy smile.”
“How heavy would you guess?”
“Over two hundred and twenty pounds, at least. Are you going to give his name to the police?”
“I have more work to do.”
“Okay, well, I’m going to go to the shelter, but let me know if you need me.”
Aria gave Sawyer a quick hug before she left.
As Aria walked away, Sawyer thought about the man she’d chased on the railroad tracks.
He was lean and he was fast.
If she eliminated Stanley Higgins as a suspect, the only one left on her list of possible copycat killers was Jimmy Crocket. Emily Stiller had told her that Jimmy Crocket worked downtown.
Sawyer needed to go home and gather a few things before she drove back to town. Although she was hungry and every part of her ached, she knew she wouldn’t be able to rest until she checked him out.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
Back home, Sawyer made quick work of reading through her notes until she found what she was looking for. According to Emily Stiller, Jimmy Crocket worked at Midtown Design Studio.
She grabbed her bag and headed out. The studio was located on Sixteenth Street. Sawyer found a parking spot on the street. The office was small. Three people sat at various desks, two to the right, one to the left. All women. All busy.
The one sitting to the left with a wild tangle of silver hair looked up. “Can I help you?”