I was livid. Furious. It started as this slow rolling anger that burned brighter and brighter.
They stole the last straw. One thing. I wanted one thing to myself, and they ruined it.
I waltzed up to the guard. I knew it was wrong to be here, but I had to trust in the enemy of my enemy. Cora was weak, but given the right intel—the right resources—she's had proven methods. The scrappy bitch had a growing army, and I needed help if I was going to tear down my brothers.
Working with her went against everything I knew, but it was the only way. She'd been responsible for Anthony's kidnapping and my parents’ death, but maybe I’d been putting the blame on the wrong person all this time. It was my father’s ambition that got us into this mess. It was Malice who kept expanding and making enemies. If he were gone, I could live a normal life.
Cora can have her paper empire, I wanted to be free.
The guard spit in the dirt at my feet. Disgusting. "What do you want?"
I smiled at the dirty-looking man. "I'm here to see Cora. Tell her Vicky Civella wants to make a deal."
29
I sat cross-legged on the edge of Malice's bed, wearing his button-up shirt and staring at the bowl of fruit in my lap. "Aren't you hungry?" Malice asked. He was sitting in a lounge chair, shirtless and checking emails on his iPad.
I chewed on my lip. Last night, Malice had to go to a warehouse to check on a shipment, so I ended up sleeping alone. Despite needing answers from him, it was nice to have time to organize my thoughts. I was sad about Vicky, angry with William, and worried about Anthony.
"I'm hungry," I admitted while looking at his bare chest and his washboard abs. The black ink swirling all over his skin made me want to run my tongue all down his torso. He caught me staring and smirked.
Malice slowly set down his iPad and stalked over to me, his pants hanging low on his hips. I stared into his moody eyes and felt the full weight of his attention on me. He picked up the bowl and moved it to his dresser, then sat on the edge of the bed. "Sit," he demanded while patting his lap. I blushed, still new to the affection, and crawled onto his lap, straddling his thighs and facing him head on. "How are you?" he asked while grabbing my hips.
I ran my hands through his blond hair, stalling. "I'm okay," I lied.
He dug his fingers into my hips and pulled me until I was grinding against his hard cock. "Don't lie to me."
"I don't want to fight with Vicky," I admitted. "And I'm mad at William."
Malice looked deep into my eyes. "Yes, I suppose William is quite the disappointment. I was hoping you'd be the one to change him."
I leaned back slightly in surprise. "What do you mean?"
Malice tenderly pulled me closer, forcing me to grind against his delicious cock. The sensation had me biting my lip. "William hides behind money. He's always shown his strength behind stocks and his intelligence. Don't get me wrong, he's brutal when he needs to be, but he's never challenged me. Sometimes I wonder if we would be closer if he would just stand up for himself instead of letting the world fuck him over."
"You actually want him to challenge you?"
"I think it would bring us closer. Right now, he's letting his frustration fester. One of these days, my brother is going to explode and ruin us all. I knew almost immediately that he loved you. I got close to you to try and challenge him some. I hoped that, at one point, he would stand up and stake his claim. But still, he disappoints me."
I had never felt more embarrassed in my life. It was like getting punched in the gut. I was so overwhelmed with a multitude of emotions that my lungs felt tight. Malice didn't care about me. He was just using me. I slowly inched off his lap and put space between us. "I see," I whispered. "Do you think he'll ever challenge you?" I asked.
Malice shrugged. "I thought he loved you enough to at least try, but..."
My heart split.
The necklace wrapped around my throat started to feel like it was choking me.
"The first time we kissed," I whispered. "You waited until he could see."
"I did."
"And yesterday, you put me in danger so that William would get pissed off," I said. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes, and I begged them to dry up. I wouldn't let Malice see me cry. I could be strong.
Malice let out a sigh. "He didn't even talk to me about it. Instead, he went to get Vicky and let her fight his battles. At some point, my brother is going to have to man up."
This conversation did three things simultaneously.
First, I realized that Malice didn't actually care for me.
Second, I realized that William didn't love me enough to fight for me.
And third, I learned that I needed to leave before my heart was shattered any more than it already was.
Vicky was right. I was nothing to these men. How could I have been so stupid? I threw away my best friend, my morals, my humanity for them. I killed for them. I died a little for them, too.
His phone pinged, drawing his attention away from me. I took a deep breath as I watched Malice check his phone. In that brief moment, my heart turned to stone. Nothing. I would feel nothing. I would treat him like the man I killed. Small box. Smaller box. Locked away forever. "Hey, can we finish this later? I need to go check on something at one of my warehouses. Are you okay?" Malice asked.
I willed my expression to be blank. "Yeah. I'm just going to research some colleges and call Grams."
Malice's brow arched. "We can talk about you going to college later."
Of course, how could I forget? Malice didn't want me, but I'd never be free, either.
Malice quickly put on his shirt and got dressed. I disconnected from the moment, forcing my mind to empty of all the pain, embarrassment, and self-loathing. I was a monster. I was pathetic. I was so desperate for love that I let this man use me. And worst of all, I knew it. I ignored all the signs and my intuition for what? I was doomed to a life of loneliness, of abandonment. Block by block, I felt my confidence shatter. I had this crazy vision of a future where I belonged, and it was nothing more than a joke.
"I'll see you later," Malice said while buckling his belt. He kissed me on the cheek softly. I didn't understand why he bothered with the tender display of affection. Maybe he liked knowing that he could still take whatever he wanted from me.
What had he said?
I play with toys until they break, and then I play with them harder.
Malice would probably fuck me right now just to prove he could.
"Bye," I replied.
I watched Malice walk out the door, and the moment he was gone, I instantly took off the necklace and sobbed.
"Where are you going?" Anthony asked as I walked to the front door. I let out a little sigh and paused to face him. The only genuine person in this house was Anthony. I knew without a shadow of doubt that he had no ulterior motives when it came to me. He cared.
I hoped he couldn't see how red my eyes were from crying. "I convinced Vicky to meet me at a coffee shop down the street. I was going to bring her a peace offering." And I was going to tell her goodbye.
Leaving this town had become my primary goal. Grams was still safely with Aunt Agnes in Palm Springs. I had to come clean to her about what I'd been up to and find a safe place for us away from it all.