Millie shot me a tender, knowing smile. “You’re in love with him.”
“I’m not,” I snapped. “He’s just such a good fucking man. And the person he wants is an idiot.”
My jaw tightened the way it always did when I thought of Chris Banks. Maybe I should have been more kind or understanding considering the poor man had just lost his grandfather, but I couldn’t bring myself to be so reasonable.
Millie didn’t look surprised at my revelation. “I knew there was a catch. Tell me.”
I shook my head, furious that I’d landed myself in exactly the kind of situation I’d sworn off, simply because I’d answered a damned hookup request. If I hadn’t had such a crazy flight that day, maybe I wouldn’t have been so tempted by the thought of a silent hookup.
Liar.
I knew the truth was more complicated than that. Something about his need to be treated special had called to me. I hadn’t been able to deny my desire to play happy couple for one night, to make love to a man as if he belonged to me and hold him in my arms all night without feeling the heavy burden of his expectations on me.
But now here we were, a stark reminder that there was a flip side to the burden of expectations, and that was the joy of being able to provide comfort and care to someone who needed it.
“He’s in love with his best friend,” I admitted. “He’s using me to make him jealous.” Millie’s face turned red, but before she could spout off, I preempted her. “Not like that. It was a plan the two of us came up with together. Actually, I think it was my idea. And I probably subconsciously or not-so-subconsciously came up with it as an excuse to spend more time with him.”
Her angry face dissolved back into the pity face. I wasn’t quite sure which was worse.
“Are you going to the funeral at least?”
I shrugged. “The man just died. I have no idea what any funeral plans would be, and the way things are going right now… Teo isn’t really telling me much. I’m sure he’s grieving and also trying to be there for Chris and his family. Plus, I have an insane week. One of my clients is a motivational speaker, and he has me scheduled for three trips already.”
Millie walked over to where I stood leaning my ass against the counter by the sink. She slid her arms around me and hugged me tight. Her salon-blond hair was twisted up in a messy bun on top of her head, and I smelled the familiar scent of the honey hand cream she always kept on the counter by her purse. She wasn’t pregnant enough to have a baby bump yet, but I was still careful with her in case she wasn’t feeling 100 percent.
“You’re a good fucking man too, Jack. And Teo would be lucky to have you.”
I hugged her back but didn’t trust myself to speak.
“Even if all you can be for him right now is a friend, be the best damned friend the man has ever had,” she said before pulling back and standing on tiptoes to kiss my cheek. “Now, go to bed. It’s late.”
Thankfully, I slept hard because when I woke up the next morning, the work calls started coming in. Not only did I have the flights already scheduled for Rourke, but now I had requests to help cover some of the Banks Consulting flights to pick up friends and family from around the country to bring them to Chicago for the services at the end of the week.
Despite several texts letting Teo know I was thinking about him, I continued not getting any response from him for the next several days. When I finally heard from him on Thursday evening, it was short and sweet.
Teo: Thank you for your messages. I’m too tired to say more than thank you. For everything.
I was in Miami at the time, doing preflight checks for our return flight to Chicago. I stared at the screen unsure of how to respond.
“Bad news?” Rourke asked from his chair at the front of the passenger cabin.
I glanced up at him. “Remember the friend I told you about who lost his surrogate grandfather?”
Rourke nodded.
“He finally got back to me. Sounds like he’s exhausted and overwhelmed.” I slid the phone back into my pocket without responding. I’d think through what I wanted to say while we were in the air in hopes of avoiding coming off as some obsessive stalker with an immediate response. I already felt like I was overwhelming him since I’d messaged him so many more times than he’d messaged me.
“Poor guy,” Rourke said. “When we lost our grandmother last year, it was awful. Even when you expect it, it’s hard.”
I made a sound of agreement and returned to making sure everything was closed and stowed properly and Rourke was strapped in. Sometimes he liked to sit in the copilot’s seat during flight, but today he said he had work to do on his laptop. It was probably for the best. I enjoyed talking to him during the flight when he sat up front with me, but the last couple of times I’d gotten the feeling he was flirting with me. Normally, I would have flirted back, but I was so twisted up inside about Teo, I didn’t have much energy for that lately.
“Are you going to the funeral?” Rourke asked, sounding like my sister.
“It’s on Saturday,” I said. Today was Thursday. I was scheduled to fly Rourke to San Diego Saturday morning for a conference where he was delivering the keynote address that evening.
“Shit, Jack. I can request another pilot. Take the day off and go be with your friend.”
“Not sure he wants me there, honestly,” I admitted, talking over my shoulder as I climbed into the pilot’s seat. “It’s complicated.”
“Ahh. One of those. I see.” He was quiet for a few moments while I continued getting us ready to taxi out. After another couple of minutes, he asked, “Are you two seeing each other?”
“No,” I said firmly. “Definitely not. He’s in a relationship already.” Which was technically true, even though the type of relationship might have been up in the air. After Chris’s display at the baseball game, I had no doubt he had true feelings for Teo. His jealousy and anger were proof enough of that.
“And what about you? Are you seeing anyone?”
I turned around to see if this was just his usual flirtation, but his face was serious.
“No,” I said. “If you’d asked me six months ago, I would have told you I wasn’t interested in settling down. Now… now, I’m not so sure. But it’s tough with this job, you know?”
He smiled and nodded in understanding. “Believe me, I know exactly what you mean,” he said with a chuckle before returning to whatever he’d been doing on his phone.
Rourke was a handsome man. His smile was dimpled, and his warm brown eyes twinkled. From living life in a wheelchair, he had big, strong shoulders and muscular arms as well as a stacked chest. He was well respected among his peers, and we’d shared several meals together while traveling. I wondered what his love-life story was, whether his physical challenges played a role in his being single or whether it was more by choice or job circumstances. At one point, he’d mentioned enjoying the freedom to travel without having to answer to a partner, but I knew from personal experience now there could come a time where that balance tipped the other direction.
Maybe it wasn’t “answering to a partner” as much as “having someone to miss you when you were gone.”