“I’m not dumping you. We aren’t together,” I reminded him.
“Could have fooled me,” he snapped, whipping the covers off and scaring both cats into hiding. “I’m going home.”
I stared in disbelief as he threw on his clothes and stomped into his shoes. When he finally headed toward the door, he grabbed something off the kitchen counter and threw it at me before storming out of the apartment and slamming the door.
I looked down at the yellowish-orange box in my hands.
Milk Duds.
Now I felt like a total ass.
I glanced back up at the closed door. Had he really been making a serious attempt to start something between us, or was this the comfort seeking I’d originally thought it was? This box of candy was one of the most thoughtful things he’d ever done for me, and I’d ruined it.
26
Jack
The trip to New York with Rourke had kept me sufficiently distracted, although I couldn’t stop myself from sending Teo a quick text the morning of the funeral just to let him know I was thinking about him. Predictably, he didn’t message me back, which was fine.
Okay, it wasn’t fine. But that was something I just had to get over. I’d had a surprisingly nice time in Rourke’s company in New York and was even scheduled to meet him for a dinner theater experience in a few nights. We’d discovered a mutual love for unique theatrical experiences and had spent lots of time talking about the productions we’d seen in our respective travels.
It had been fun being out with him in a way because he was a recognizable public figure and people swarmed to him. He wasn’t so famous that we weren’t able to eat our dinner in peace, but he was popular enough from a TED Talk he’d done that he was approached several times during our time together. The fans gushed over him, and the best part was watching him come alive under the attention. No matter how tired he was from traveling, speaking, or simply making his way around the city in a wheelchair, he always perked up when fans appeared.
Despite having a great time in his company, I wasn’t tempted to try for more with Rourke. He was sexy as hell, and if I hadn’t met Teo, I would have probably tried desperately to get him into bed with me, but I had met Teo. And meeting Tee had moved the bar so high up, I worried another man may never reach it again.
So I tried to take it as a sign that this wasn’t the season of my life that needed to be filled with sex. It was the season I needed to spend on figuring out what else I enjoyed spending my time doing. An unexpected project popped up just at the right time when Millie and Kirk mentioned wishing the one large rec room in their house was a guest bedroom and bath instead. Up till now, it had been a giant catchall-type room with a guest bed and also a desk for when Millie and Kirk needed to catch up on bookkeeping and admin from home for their small business.
Since money was tight right now due to the unexpected departure of Kirk’s business partner, they couldn’t afford to hire contractors to do the work. My dad had volunteered the two of us to do it as a baby gift to them. We’d done similar work on my parents’ house when I was in high school. I was looking forward to spending some time with my dad, and I thought working together to create a guest suite where I could come for lots of baby visits was a great idea.
Two weeks after the funeral for Gordon Banks, I was finally buying into my own attitude adjustment. I’d been running twice with Chelsea, been out to the interesting dinner theater with Rourke, and had even met a couple of old high school friends in the city for beer one night. My dad and I had planned to meet up on Saturday to make a game plan for the renovation and start ordering supplies.
I was doing well. Totally fine. Excellent, in fact. My life was right on track.
And then Teo’s messy brown hair and vibrant green eyes flashed up on my phone screen just as I was walking away from Rourke’s Cessna after a quick day trip to Minneapolis. My finger pressed the green button to accept the call before I even processed what was happening.
“Hey,” I said, suddenly breathless.
“Oh my god, it’s so good to hear your voice,” he said with a nervous laugh. “I didn’t know if you’d be flying or—”
“No, I just got back from a trip. This is good. Perfect. I mean, it’s a good time. How have you been?”
My hands were shaking. What the hell was wrong with me?
“Not great, honestly. I’m really kind of… confused. And… well, I was wondering if we could get together and do something? I…” He let out a breath. “I could really use a friend right now.”
“Absolutely. Are you feeling like a night out? A night in? I’m up for whatever you want to do.” I picked up my pace so I could get home and showered as quickly as possible.
“You remember how we watched that old teen movie in Goose Bay and we both really liked it?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “The Breakfast Club?”
“Yeah, don’t laugh at me.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “I thought maybe we could watch some of the others like it. I never saw them. Like Sixteen Candles and stuff?”
“You are a newborn baby. But yes, I’d love that. Want me to come to you, or do you want to come to my place? Either is fine with me.”
After a little bit of back-and-forth, we decided to meet at his place since he had Socrates and Waffles. I hopped on the train and willed it to go faster. Once at my place, I quickly showered, shaved, and changed into comfortable shorts and a T-shirt. Then I tamped down my enthusiasm when I realized I was “getting ready for a date.” Whatever that meant. I switched out my nice designer T-shirt for a shitty Pride one and tried washing off the cologne I’d sprayed on. To hell with it. I was a lost cause.
I forced myself not to stop for flowers, wine, more Milk Duds, or anything else I could think of that would show him I cared. Instead, I tried to play it cool. He needed a friend. He didn’t need a pushy asshole. I was going to go in there and be his friend.
Then he opened the door.
And he looked so fucking beautiful, I clenched my teeth against the dreamy sigh that was on the tip of my tongue.
I expected an awkward, foot-shuffling moment where we both sort of grunted Hi to each other, but after half a second of eye contact, Teo launched himself at me and hugged me like it had been years instead of weeks. He felt so damned good in my arms. Holding Teo in my arms gave me the same feeling of happiness and relief I got sliding into my own bed after a long trip away from home. I lifted him up until his legs wrapped around my waist, and then I cupped the back of his head to keep his nose tucked into my neck.
“Fuck, you feel good,” I said into his hair. My voice sounded weird, like it wasn’t my own.
I felt one of the cats brushing against my legs, so I was careful stepping forward to make room to close the apartment door.
“I missed you.” His words were muffled against my skin, and I felt the warmth from his breath there.
Maybe I couldn’t do this. Maybe I was so far gone for him that being around him and not being able to have my hands all over him was going to literally kill me. Because while I had him there in my arms, I remembered Chris standing in that exact same spot in nothing but a towel.