She’d imagined them sitting in these very chairs, resting their coffee mugs in the rings. Eating the flaky croissants. Talking quietly. As though nothing had happened.
But a lot had happened in that year, to Clara. To the village. To their friends.
But what preoccupied her now was what had happened to Peter. The question occupied her head, then took over her heart, and now it held her completely hostage.
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” asked Myrna. The question, Clara knew, wasn’t a criticism. There was no reproach or judgment. Myrna simply wanted to understand.
“At first I thought I might have had the date wrong. Then I got mad and thought, Fuck him. That was good for a couple of weeks. Then…”
She lifted her hands, as though in surrender.
Myrna waited, sipping her tea. She knew her friend. Clara might pause, might hesitate, might stumble. But she never surrendered.
“Then I got scared.”
“Of what?” Myrna’s voice was calm.
“I don’t know.”
“You know.”
There was a long pause. “I was afraid,” said Clara at last, “that he was dead.”
And still Myrna waited. And waited. And rested her mug in the circles. And waited.
“And,” said Clara, “I was afraid he wasn’t. That he hadn’t come home because he didn’t want to.”
* * *
“Salut,” said Annie as her husband joined them on the porch. She patted the seat next to her on the swing.
“Can’t right now,” said Jean-Guy. “But save my place. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“I’ll be in bed by then.”
Beauvoir was on the verge of saying something, then remembered where they were, and who was with them.
“Are you off?” Reine-Marie asked Armand as she stood and he put his arm around her waist.
“Not for long.”
“I’ll keep a candle in the window,” she said, and saw him smile.
She watched as Armand and their son-in-law strolled across the village green. At first she thought they were going to the bistro for a nightcap, but then they veered to the right. To the light of Clara’s cottage.
And Reine-Marie heard them knock on her door. A soft, soft, insistent knocking.
* * *
“You told him?”
Clara looked from Gamache to Jean-Guy.
She was livid. Her face was livid, as though she’d fallen face-first onto one of her own palettes. Magenta with a blotch of dioxazine purple seeping up from her neck.
“It was private. What I told you was private.”
“You asked for my help, Clara,” said Gamache.
“No I didn’t. In fact, I told you not to help. That I’d take care of it. This is my life, my problem, not yours. Do you think every damsel is in distress? Did I become just a problem to be solved? A weakling to be saved? Is that it? The great man steps in to take care of things. Are you here to tell me not to worry my pretty little head?”
Even Myrna’s eyes widened at this description of Clara’s head.
“Wait a minute—” Beauvoir began, his own face turning alizarin crimson, but Gamache placed a large hand on the younger man’s arm.
“No, you wait a minute,” snapped Clara, rounding on Beauvoir. Beside her, Myrna laid a soft but firm hand on her arm.
“I’m sorry if I misunderstood,” said Gamache, and he looked it. “I thought when we talked this morning that you wanted my help. Why else come to me?”
And there it was. The simple truth.
Armand Gamache was her friend. But Reine-Marie was a closer friend. Others in the village were older friends. Myrna was her best friend.
So why had she gone each morning up to the bench, to sit beside this man? And had finally unburdened herself? To him.
“Well, you were wrong,” Clara said, the purple spreading into her scalp. “If you’re bored here, Chief Inspector, go find someone else’s private life to pillage.”
Even Beauvoir gaped at that, momentarily so shocked he couldn’t find the words. And then he found them.
“Bored? Bored? Do you have any idea what he’s offering? What he’s giving up? What a selfish—”
“Jean-Guy! Enough.”
The four of them stared at each other, shocked into silence.
“I’m sorry,” said Gamache, giving Clara a small bow. “I was wrong. Jean-Guy.”
Beauvoir hurried to catch up to Gamache’s long strides as he left Clara’s home and walked toward the bistro. Once there, Gamache ordered a cognac and Beauvoir got a Coke.
Jean-Guy studied the man across from him. And slowly, slowly, it dawned on him that Gamache wasn’t angry. He wasn’t even hurt that his offer to help Clara had been turned down and he’d been personally insulted.
Beauvoir knew, as he watched the Chief sip his drink and stare ahead, that the only thing Armand Gamache felt at that moment was relief.
FIVE
The next morning dawned bright and warm.
Reine-Marie stepped out their front door onto the porch and almost trod on the moth. It had fallen on its back directly beneath the light, face up, its wings spread wide as though in ecstasy.
Armand, Reine-Marie, and Henri strolled up the hill, past the little church, past the old mill, past the Inn and Spa in the old Hadley House. Through the tunnel of trees they walked. They could see their footprints in the dirt from the day before, and the day before that.
And then their footprints stopped. But they walked on. A hundred yards farther. Always a little farther. Until they’d gone far enough and it was time to turn back.
At the bench they paused and sat down.
“It looks like a compass, doesn’t it?” said Reine-Marie.
Armand tossed the ball to the eager and tireless Henri, then considered what she’d said.
“You’re right,” he smiled. “I hadn’t seen that before.”
The village of Three Pines was built around the village green. The homes formed a circle, and out of that circle ran four roads, like the cardinal directions. Gamache now wondered if they really did head out to true north, south, east, and west.
Was Three Pines a compass? A guide for those blown off course?
“Can you tell me about Clara?” Reine-Marie asked.
“I wish I could, mon coeur.”
Gamache looked unhappy. He told his wife almost everything. Throughout his career he’d told her about the evidence, the suspects, his suspicions. He’d told her because he trusted her and wanted to include her in his life. They’d discussed murder cases he was working on and the books and old documents she was working on in the national archives.
But some things, some things, Gamache kept secret. Those he would tell no one. And he knew Reine-Marie had her secrets too. Confidences she would keep.
“But you told Jean-Guy.”
It wasn’t an accusation, simply a query.
“That was a mistake. When we went over to Clara’s place to discuss it, she made it clear I shouldn’t have.”
He grimaced slightly and Reine-Marie suspected Clara had been quite clear.
“But she did want your help with something.”
Her voice was calm, but her heart pounded. Reine-Marie knew if Clara was asking for help from Armand it wasn’t to set a mousetrap or cut some hedges or fix the roof. Clara could do all those things for herself.