‘This is for Grandma,’ she said.
I sided with Nikki because I always did. If she had a plan, I would follow. ‘Nikki’s right, let’s keep going. Mom and Dad have no idea we’ve figured out what Grandpa did. They think we’re having fun,’ I said.
Nikki nodded. ‘That’s the key. We act like everything is fine and normal and we’re just having fun with Grandpa. And …’ she held up a finger like she was pointing at us. Giving us an order. ‘No hinting about where we are. Pretend Grandpa is right there.’
She dialed the number and spoke first, saying Grandpa was standing next to her.
Not a lie. He was next to her, and he was asleep.
She passed the phone to Eddie, who said the usual everything-is-fine-we’re-having-a-great-time and then passed the phone to me.
I was too enthusiastic – although at the time, I didn’t know that. I was just trying to impress Nikki.
The last one was Portia. She didn’t say much, but at least she wasn’t crying anymore. No one knew how much she understood or what she thought about any of this, but she did trust Nikki.
Nikki gave her very specific instructions about what to say. ‘Everything’s great. So fun. I ate M&M’s today.’
Random phrases, the kind of thing six-year-olds spit out for no reason. Sometimes Portia was really good, other times she wasn’t. I held my breath as Nikki put the phone up to Portia’s ear.
‘Hi,’ she said. ‘Great, so fun. I love M&M’s.’
Good enough.
We made it through the first night on our own. That’s how we thought of it – as being on our own. Grandpa was asleep most of the time, and when he wasn’t he looked a little afraid. Couldn’t blame him. I also thought he deserved it.
Our only problem was money. We were almost out of it.
On the first trip, I didn’t see any aliens or UFOs. Now the UFO Watchtower is much larger, more crowded, and it has a campground, a rock garden, and a gift shop, but I still don’t see any aliens or UFOs.
‘It’s daytime,’ Portia says. ‘Hard to see UFOs when the sun’s out.’
‘Is that right?’ I say.
She nods, raising the binoculars up to her eyes and gazing upward. I’m shocked she even brought binoculars. For aliens.
‘I had no idea you believe in UFOs,’ I said.
Portia gives me a bored look. ‘I just don’t believe we’re the only ones around. There has to be other life out there.’ She takes out her phone and glances at it. Someone is calling but I can’t read the name. ‘It’s my roommate, I better take this. Be right back.’ She walks so far away I can’t hear anything she says.
I turn to Felix. ‘What about you? Do you believe?’
He shrugs. ‘Sure, why not?’
I’ve been asking him questions all morning, trying to catch him in another lie, trying to figure out if I know him. It’s typical for him to go along with whatever is easiest when he doesn’t care. Aliens don’t rank very high.
‘Do you?’ Felix asks me.
No, but who cares about the truth at this point? ‘Sure,’ I say.
‘You do not,’ Eddie says. ‘You made fun of it last time.’
‘I was twelve.’
‘Still.’
It’s true, I made fun of this place and the whole idea of it, but it was mostly because Nikki put me in charge of Grandpa. I wanted to be with her but was stuck with him. We couldn’t leave Grandpa by himself in the car, so we had to help him to the platform, and I was in charge of standing by his chair, keeping him propped up. He wasn’t asleep but he wasn’t really awake, either.
So no, I never saw any aliens and I didn’t believe in them. Bet Nikki didn’t, either.
Just below us on the platform, Krista is walking around the rock garden. Discarded items are strewn about, notes, tchotchkes, articles of clothes have been left as energy gifts to the vortexes. There are two here, near the watchtower, along with a circular view of the sky.
Next to me, a group of older women take this all very seriously. The watchtower is a pilgrimage for them twice a year and they have pictures from all the trips. One of them shows me a picture of glowing dots in a dark sky. UFOs, they say. The women have seen many of them.
Maybe that’s what Felix is. An alien. You think you’re married to a human only to find out he’s from another planet. That would change things up.
‘You okay?’
Not Felix. It’s Krista. She’s back from the rock garden, looking tired and hung over, but she’s in a good mood. It’s a nice surprise, and when I nod to her, she smiles wide. Happy up to her eyes.
‘I love this place,’ she says.
‘You believe in aliens?’
‘Why not?’
Why not.
Eddie is standing behind her. He’s wearing sunglasses, making it impossible to gauge his reaction. I can guess, though.
I introduce Krista to the women on the pilgrimage to get her out of the way. When Felix leaves to find the bathroom, I finally have a minute with Eddie.
‘Tell me the truth,’ I say.
He raises an eyebrow. ‘It’s a good thing Krista doesn’t say things like that, otherwise I’d start running.’
‘Have you ever seen Felix smoke?’ I ask.
‘Smoke? You mean weed?’
‘Cigarettes.’
He shakes his head. ‘Never. Why?’
‘It’s probably nothing.’
A lie, mostly. If it was nothing, I wouldn’t have searched through his bag when he went out for a walk.
I’m not the kind who snoops. I’ve never felt a need to search through Felix’s phone, computer, or e-mail. My thing has always been if he’s going to do something bad, he’ll do it no matter what. No way to stop it, but plenty of ways to drive yourself crazy. Like I did this morning.
I didn’t find anything. No cigarettes, no lighter, nothing. He probably took them with him on the walk, or maybe they’re hidden outside. For half a second I considered rushing out to follow him.
I decided against it because I don’t want to be that woman. That wife. You know who I’m talking about because we’ve all seen her before.
One day, a woman appears to be in a healthy, happy relationship; the next day she’s in a movie of the week. It’s that dramatic. It’s that quick.
I think it happened to Eddie’s old girlfriend. He met Krista when he was still with Tracy. I hadn’t seen them for a while, but out of the blue Tracy starting e-mailing and calling, asking how I was, how Felix was, and had I heard from Eddie lately? It was so odd that I called Eddie to ask what was going on.
‘Going on? What do you mean, going on?’ he said.
‘I mean, is Tracy okay?’
‘What do you mean, is she okay?’
‘You screwed up again, didn’t you?’ I said. He started to answer with another question so I cut him off. ‘Just tell me.’
‘I didn’t screw up on purpose,’ Eddie said.
I hung up, not bothering to hear the details, already knowing Tracy had become That Woman. The one who searches through her partner’s things because she thinks he’s up to something. Because she knows he’s up to something. And Tracy was right.