‘Everything OK?’ Cara asked, her face soft with concern.
‘I’m fine,’ Pip said, turning to walk with them down the hall.
‘Have you seen?’ Connor said. ‘People online are actually believing it, saying they thought it was all a bit too elaborate. That it felt scripted.’
‘I told you,’ Pip said. Her voice came out dark, remoulded by her anger. ‘Never read the comments.’
‘But –’
‘Hey,’ Ant’s voice called as they turned the corner past the Chemistry block. He, Lauren and Zach were just behind them, coming from the other direction.
They waited for the others to catch up and slot in between, Ant’s steps falling in line with Pip’s.
‘Whole school’s talking about you,’ he said, and Pip could see him watching her out of the corner of her eye.
‘Well the whole school is full of idiots,’ Cara said, hurrying to walk on Pip’s other side.
‘Maybe.’ Ant shrugged, with a glance back to Lauren. ‘But we were just thinking that, I don’t know, it does seem kind of convenient.’
‘What seems convenient?’ Pip said, and there was a growl in her voice. Maybe no one else could hear it, but she did.
‘Well, the whole Jamie thing,’ Lauren spoke up now.
‘Oh really?’ Pip shot her a warning look, trying to hurt her with her eyes. ‘Connor, has it felt convenient to you that your brother is missing?’
Connor’s mouth opened, but he was unsure how to answer, and all that came out was a croak between yes and no.
‘You know what I mean, though,’ Ant carried on. ‘Like, the whole catfish thing, so you don’t actually have to name a culprit because it’s someone who doesn’t really exist. Everything happening the night of the memorial for Andie and Sal. The missing knife, and you just happening to find it by that creepy farmhouse. It is all a bit . . . convenient, isn’t it?’
‘Shut up, Ant,’ Zach said quietly, falling back to keep his distance like he could sense something was coming.
‘What the fuck?’ Cara stared incredulously at Ant. ‘Say the word “convenient” one more time and I will end you.’
‘Whoa.’ Ant chuckled, holding up his hands. ‘I’m just saying.’
But Pip couldn’t hear what he was just saying, because her ears were ringing, a hiss like static, broken up by her own voice asking her: Did you plant the knife? Could you have planted the knife? Is Jamie missing? Is Layla Mead real? Is any of this even real?
And she didn’t know how she was still walking because she couldn’t feel her feet. She could feel only one thing. The scream had wound itself around her throat now, pulling tighter and tighter as it chased its own end.
‘I won’t be mad,’ Ant was saying. ‘To be honest, if this is all made up, I think it’s a genius idea. Except, you know, that you got caught. And that you didn’t tell me and Lauren.’
Cara snapped. ‘So, you’re essentially calling both Connor and Pip liars? Grow up, Ant, and stop being such a dick all your life.’
‘Hey,’ Lauren chimed in now. ‘You’re the one being a dick.’
‘Oh really?’
‘Guys . . .’ Connor said, but the word was lost as soon as he uttered it.
‘So where is Jamie?’ Ant said. ‘Holed up in some Premier Inn somewhere?’
And Pip knew that he was just prodding her, but she couldn’t control it, she couldn’t –
The double doors swung inwards at the end of the corridor, and the headteacher, Mrs Morgan stepped through. Her eyes narrowed, and then lit up.
‘Ah, Pip!’ she shouted down the hall. ‘I need to speak to you, urgently, before you go home!’
‘Busted,’ Ant whispered, making Lauren snort. ‘Go on, it’s over now. Might as well tell us the truth.’
But everything had turned to fire behind Pip’s eyes.
Her feet twisted.
Her arms swung out.
Hands against Ant’s chest, she shoved him, pushing him with all her strength across the width of the hall.
He crashed into a bank of lockers.
‘What the –’
Pip’s elbow drew up, her forearm against Ant’s neck, holding him in place. She stared him in the eyes, though hers had burned to ash, and she finally let it out.
She screamed into his face. It ripped at her throat and tore at her eyes, feeding itself from that never-ending pit in her stomach.
Pip screamed and they were all that existed. Just her and the scream.
Thirty-One
‘Suspended?’
Pip sank into the stool in the kitchen, avoiding her dad’s eyes.
‘Yes.’ Her mum was standing on the other side of the room,
Pip in the middle. Talking around her, over her head. ‘For three days. What about Cambridge, Pippa?’
‘Who was the other student?’ Dad asked, voice softening where her mum’s had grown harder, sharper.
‘Anthony Lowe.’
Pip glanced up, catching the face her dad pulled: bottom lip rolled up over the top, eyes crinkling like he wasn’t surprised.
‘What’s that look for?’ her mum said.
‘Nothing.’ Her dad rearranged his face, untucking his lip. ‘Just never really liked the kid that much.’
‘How is that helpful right now, Victor?’ her mum snapped.
‘Sorry, it’s not,’ he said, exchanging a look with Pip. It was quick, but it was enough, and she felt a little less alone out there in the middle of the room. ‘Why did you do it, Pip?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘You don’t know?’ her mum said. ‘You shoved him against a locker with your arm on his throat. How do you not know how that happens? You’re lucky Cara, Zach and Connor were there and defended you to Mrs Morgan, told her Ant provoked you, otherwise you would have been expelled.’
‘How did he provoke you, pickle?’ her dad asked.
‘Called me a liar,’ she said. ‘The internet thinks I’m a liar. A jury of twelve peers think I’m a liar. My own friends think I’m a liar. So I guess I’m a liar now, and Max Hastings is the good guy.’
‘I’m sorry about the verdict,’ he said. ‘That must be really hard for you.’
‘Harder for the people he drugged and raped,’ she said.
‘Yes, and it’s unfair and awful,’ her mum said with a frown. ‘But that’s not an excuse for your violent behaviour.’
‘I’m not making an excuse. I’m not asking for forgiveness,’ Pip said, flatly. ‘It happened and I don’t feel guilty. He deserved it.’
‘What are you saying?’ she said. ‘This isn’t like you.’
‘What if it is?’ Pip rose from the stool. ‘What if this is exactly like me?’
‘Pip, don’t shout at your mother,’ her dad said, crossing over to her mum’s side, abandoning her in the middle.
‘Shouting? Really?’ Pip said, really shouting now. ‘That’s what we’re focusing on? A serial rapist walked free today. Jamie has been missing six whole days and might be dead. Oh, but the real problem is that I’m shouting!’