‘What happened to innocent until proved guilty?’ Matt said, all the bonhomie evaporating, to be replaced by a scowl. ‘It’s not been to court yet and my lawyer is pressing for psychological assessment. You know I acted under duress. You know I was stressed out with work.’ His eyes pleaded with her. ‘I wasn’t myself. It was totally out of character.’
‘Whatever,’ she scoffed. ‘I know you’ll try and wriggle out of it. But I know that you punched both me and Hailey, and I can’t let a man who is capable of that violence near my kids.’ She wiped her mouth with her napkin, screwed it into a ball in her fist. ‘We both know you’re guilty, whatever the legal system decides and however clever your lawyer is. You were happy to see women being abused. You didn’t care. You were even willing to let a video of your daughter be posted on the internet! What sort of father does that?’
‘Hold on a minute. I didn’t know that video had been posted. If I had, I wouldn’t have—’
She held up a hand to stop him from speaking. ‘I’m going now. But this is the deal.’ She ran her tongue round her lips, took a deep breath. ‘Milly doesn’t know your business relates in any way to the video of her being posted online. It would kill her to realise the father she adores had any involvement in that. And it would hurt Sophia just as much. You know how those two feel each other’s pain. I’m not going to tell them, and there’s no reason to suspect they will find out the truth from any other source. I’m willing to keep that secret, but in return, you don’t get to be with them. You don’t go anywhere near them or Ezra.’
His face paled. His mouth hung open.
‘When they’re eighteen, it will be up to them to decide what sort of relationship they want with you, but until then, any contact will be at their request and supervised by me. I think we can do FaceTime once a week. Just so they know you haven’t deserted them because of anything they have done.’ She tapped the table with a finger to emphasise her point. ‘But you start blaming me for anything, anything at all, then contact will stop completely, and I will tell the girls every little detail of what you did. You hear me? And then you will lose them forever.’
Matt reached over the table and grabbed her hand. ‘No, love, no. Don’t be hasty. Don’t go yet.’ He gave her a plaintive look, the one that always used to make her feel guilty. ‘Let’s just discuss this, shall we?’
She shook his hand off as if it was a leech about to suck her blood, then stood and pushed her chair under the table, holding onto the back of it so he wouldn’t see her hands shaking. ‘Those are my terms. There’s no negotiation. And if the children don’t want to speak to you, then you have to respect their decision.’
‘But they’re my kids as much as yours.’
Anger was rising in his voice, and she could feel the distress flowing off him in waves. She wondered for a moment if she was being too harsh. Memories of how they used to be filled her mind. Happy days out. Laughter, all the little in-jokes that only they understood. Family cuddles on the sofa. All that had gone. Her voice cracked. ‘You did this to yourself, Matt.’ A sob hitched in her throat. ‘Why didn’t you think of the consequences for your family before you agreed to that contract? We could have worked something else out. I know I made mistakes, but ultimately they only put me in danger. Never our children. Never anyone innocent.’
His eyes gleamed, his bottom lip wobbled.
‘Okay. Here’s something to think about. If you tell them everything you’ve done – no lies, no spurious justifications – and they still want contact with you, then I’ll reconsider.’
His face paled even more and she could see his mouth working, grasping for words.
She nodded. ‘That’s right. I think my first suggestion is going to be easier on all of us, don’t you?’
With as much dignity as she could muster, she turned and walked away, sure in her heart that she’d done the right thing. Keeping that information from her children had been a hard decision, but she couldn’t cause them any more hurt. It would make Matt keep his distance and ensure he never took whatever contact she allowed for granted.
She thought of their new living arrangement with Hailey, who’d moved in with them, the easy way they’d all come together as a different sort of family, and knew there was no going back. She had her happy home now – even if it wasn’t the one she’d expected – and she would do whatever it took to protect it. To keep her children safe, she had to be the one in control.
Information is power, she thought as she walked away. And everyone needs an insurance policy, don’t they?
Chapter Forty-One
Seven months later
Sara walked out of the courtroom, blinking in the bright sunlight. It was an imposing building, but she supposed that was the point. You weren’t meant to feel at ease in these places. You were meant to feel small, at the mercy of bigger powers.
After months of waiting, it had been a challenging week, listening to evidence, seeing the videos, but the end result had undoubtedly been the right one. Fiona and Matt had both been convicted of facilitating sexual assault, voyeurism and hiding revenue. They would be sentenced in a few days’ time, but Sara’s solicitor estimated that Matt would probably serve five years with parole, and Fiona a little more. It didn’t seem long enough for the emotional damage and shame they’d caused, all for the sake of money.
After months of counselling for herself and the family, Sara was managing to find ways to come to terms with what had happened to her. That episode in her life had been compartmentalised in her mind, and even though she knew the pictures of her would be circulating forever, she was finding ways to address the anxiety, shame and guilt that were her constant companions. Trust would always be an issue, she knew, but at least she had her sister’s support and the family were closer now than ever before.
Julia had approached her just before the trial had started to see if she’d like to take on a new role at the community centre now that James had left to run the family business full-time. Sara had arrived feeling nervous, and had perched on the edge of her chair, hoping the meeting would be brief. The community centre no longer felt benign, the shadows of the past lurking in every corner.
‘Thank you so much for coming in,’ Julia had said, swinging gently from side to side in the office chair behind the desk. ‘I have a little proposition for you and thought it would be better to do it in person.’ She smiled. ‘I do hate the way everything is done by message these days. So much room for misunderstandings, don’t you think?’
Sara’s body tensed, echoes of previous conversations held in this very office reverberating in her mind. Julia carried on speaking, but Sara could only sit and stare, her hands clutching the edge of the seat as she waited to propel herself into an upright position and walk out of the door the moment the opportunity arose.
‘You’d be doing me an enormous favour,’ Julia said with a wink once she’d outlined her proposal.
Sara’s heart fluttered, and she wondered if she’d got herself trapped all over again, because if it wasn’t for Julia, she’d certainly be facing charges of theft. Julia laughed when she saw her horrified expression.