She reached for her neck and swallowed. The pain was getting worse. No one was coming for her, no one wanted to be with her; she was definitely one of life’s loners. Maybe that’s how it would stay.
‘Cass?’ She felt the breeze of someone pulling the curtain back a little.
‘Kerry?’
‘I’m so sorry. I can’t believe what they did to you.’ Kerry hurried to her side and placed a hand on her arm. She pulled the sleeves of her sweater up and a tear trickled down her cheek.
‘Thank you for coming.’
‘I had to come.’ She paused. ‘I don’t know what to do, what to say.’
Cass yelped a little as Kerry leaned in to embrace her and then she flinched. It hurt, everything hurt. Her heart hurt and her mind was all over the place. All she knew was that people deserved second chances. She’d lived through her ordeal and she felt like a warrior. She’d survived and she’d lived to tell the tale. There were moments that she thought she didn’t want to live but after being so close to death and accepting that her time was over, she’d never felt so alive. ‘Everyone deserves a second chance.’
‘I don’t know how you can still want to be anywhere near me after all that has happened. I won’t let you down, Cass.’
Cass smiled, clapped her hands twice and clapped Kerry’s and then her own again in a little clapping sequence they learnt in junior school. Kerry laughed through her tears. They’d both lost a lot and they could both start again.
‘Hurry up and get better. We have so much catching up to do.’
‘We do.’ Cass lay back down with a smile on her sore face. She had her flat, she had a job and she had a friend – that was a start. Those women at work were going to see a new side to her once she was well enough to go back. Through all that pain came a strength she never believed she could ever possess.
Epilogue
Two days later
‘Mum,’ Hannah called as she let herself into Gina’s house.
Gina remained seated at her kitchen table, staring out at the squirrel feeder nailed to the fence as she dwelled on the conversations she’d had with Marianne Long and Charlie Carter. At least the families could now start planning funerals and lay their loved ones to rest. A squirrel perched on the nut feeder. Gracie ran through the house and straight into Gina’s arms.
‘Hello, chicken. It’s so lovely to see you.’ She kissed the giggling child’s forehead.
‘I’ve been to Cadbury World, Nanny.’
‘Gracie, come with Mummy a moment.’ Hannah put some cartoons on the television. ‘Here, you can have the chocolate buttons. Mummy just needs to speak to Nanny for a minute.’ She came back into the kitchen and pulled out a chair. ‘I guess he’s been charged. Sam?’
Gina nodded. ‘I told you he was a bad one but you wouldn’t listen.’
‘I’m sorry, okay.’ Hannah’s face was beginning to redden, just like it always did when she was stressed.
‘Where were you when I was trying to get hold of you?’
Hannah swallowed and nervously scratched her forehead. ‘Sam had gone to his sister’s in London and he called to see if I wanted to join him. He promised to show me the sights.’
‘So you just went?’
She nodded.
‘Were you sleeping with him?’
‘No way. When you came to the Cleaver and he was there, he’d helped me home from the pub. I’d had too many and I really thought he was simply being a nice person. I guess I just enjoyed feeling wanted for a while. Now I see through him, he was just trying to rile you. He wasn’t my friend at all.’
Gina could see that there was more to Hannah’s story. ‘What’s going on, love? You can’t fool me. There’s more to this than you just getting drunk in the Angel.’
‘It’s stupid.’
Gina placed her hand over her daughter’s. ‘It’s not.’
She shrugged her shoulders and stared at the table. ‘Greg has been working away a lot and we’d been arguing so I went out a few weeks ago. I just wanted to feel like I was free, just for a while and I met a man. I cheated on Greg.’
That wasn’t what Gina had expected. For some reason she imagined the blame would lie with Greg, an assumption she wasn’t proud of making. ‘I gather he found out.’
‘I told him. I couldn’t base our relationship on lies and secrets.’
Gina almost felt the pain of her statement. Her relationship with her daughter was littered with secrets and she knew the tension they caused. ‘And?’
‘We muddled along for a while but then he said he needed time to think which is why I came here. He was so upset, Mum. He cried. I broke him.’ She smiled. ‘The good thing is, he called. We’re giving it all another go. He’s going to cut down on working away and I am going to do everything in my power to make him trust me again.’ Hannah paused. ‘When I came here, I wanted to tell you but as always you were called away, and I’m sorry I acted the way I did. I was just so confused and I was angry that you’d gone again.’
Gina gripped Hannah and hugged her. ‘I may be called away for work but I am always here for you. You can always talk to me, tell me anything and I’ll listen without judgement.’
Hannah hugged her mum back. ‘Thanks, Mum. I have to get going now. Greg is waiting for us. I need to get home and try to fix my little family.’
‘I’ll miss you.’
Hannah wiped her damp eyes and stood. ‘Come on, Gracie. Come and say bye to Nanny before we go.’
The little girl ran in and held out her chocolate-coated fingers and gripped Gina in a clumsy embrace. ‘Love you, chicken. You be a good girl for Mummy and Daddy and I’ll see you soon.’
‘Bye, Nanny.’
‘Catch you soon, Mum.’
As quickly as she’d arrived, Hannah had left. A tear trickled down Gina’s cheek. Those few moments between her and her daughter had meant everything. Whatever the future held, Hannah would always have her and now Hannah knew that. Gina glanced at the returning squirrel as it continued to crunch on nuts. She shivered in the silence of her cold house that lacked love and happiness. Ebony meowed. She bent over and stroked the cat.
Her phone beeped. It was a message from Briggs.
Gina, please come over tonight. Let me cook for you. We don’t need to talk. In fact, number one rule, no talking. That’s a promise. Just us, having dinner – and it won’t be egg and chips. I promise. We could take Jessie for a walk too. X
Gina smiled. She’d love to go over and walk his dog, then be treated to a lovely dinner without the pressure of talking about her horrible past. Her smile faded as she replied. But was it a good idea? She pressed reply and typed away. Maybe it was time to live a little.