‘I’ve booked a time slot for tomorrow. I don’t know what to do, how to organise it, how to tell the kids. And what’s worse, I feel as if I’m getting used to Carla not being here, and that can’t be right.’
‘That’s because it’s all stagnated, nothing seems to be happening. I think it’ll hit us hard when we get the two funerals booked. There’s going to be a lot of people there and it’ll overwhelm us all over again. It’ll be like it was at the beginning, but even the police have hit a block, haven’t they. We’re learning nothing new.’
‘There’s something new.’
Kenny’s head lifted at some speed. ‘What? To do with Isaac?’
‘Nah, if it had been to do with Isaac I would have told you. Remember that gun?’
‘The one you told Carla you’d found in the hydrangea bush?’
‘That’s the one. The police have found out about it.’
‘The fuck they have! This is serious stuff, Graham. How do they know about that?’
‘I asked if they had a Ouija board because I thought only Carla knew about it, but they said nothing about how they knew. The thing is, when they did the search, they left me a receipt for a journal they took away. I haven’t a clue what that’s about because I never saw Carla writing in anything, and she only went on the laptop to buy Christmas presents. Why would she keep a journal or a diary, or whatever it is? And what the bloody hell has she put in it?’
‘That’s worrying. So presumably you’ve told them what you told Carla? The bush story?’
‘I have. Even showed them the damn bush, but all he kept looking at, that Fowler git, was the crime scene tape where Tina died. I tell you, Kenny, he’s got us down for killing all three of them.’
‘Graham,’ Kenny said without raising his voice, ‘we didn’t, so as much as he might think we did, there’s no way on this earth he can prove we did, because we didn’t. Get what I mean? We didn’t do it, somebody else did, and if we have to find who it was, so be it.’
‘We’ve not had much luck so far,’ Graham pointed out. ‘Not one sniff from that money we talked about for any info received. Somebody’s hiding something or somebody, but they’re doing it bloody well if we don’t know about it, and the police don’t either. And where the fuck is Isaac?’
‘Know what I think? And this is why I haven’t given up; I think he’s gone because he can’t handle what’s happened. I’m hoping and praying he needs time and distance from this house, and if we find him I think he’ll be in some sort of squat, dossing down with other kids like him who’ve found themselves in a position where they can’t handle their lives and want an escape.’
Kenny took a sip of drink then continued. ‘And I’ve got to admit I’m relying on Jack saying he’d know if something bad had happened. They know things, my two lads. Sense stuff. Jack told us Isaac was struggling with science because he’s taken it at the top level, but Isaac hadn’t said anything to anybody. We spoke to him, and sure enough he admitted it, so we got him some private tuition. It was instinct, cognitive stuff on Jack’s part, and he says he knows Isaac’s okay, but not where he is.’
‘So you think looking round here is the wrong place to be searching? Maybe we should be down town, showing his picture to kids in doorways and such.’
‘And you’d think they’d tell us?’ Kenny gave a harsh laugh. ‘We’re the ones Isaac has run from, so nobody’s going to say, “Oh yeah, we know where he is”, are they?’
‘So what can we do?’
‘I hate to say it, but nothing. In fact, after I’ve sorted out the funeral, or at least got Lorraine into the funeral home, I’m going back to work. Being at home, waiting, is killing me, so I’m heading back to the garage. There’s stuff I need to do, and I’ve put a lot onto the lads. So, from tomorrow I’ll not be here during the day.’
‘You telling Fowler?’
‘Am I hell. Let the bastard find out where I am for himself.’
I feel so unhappy. I’m living two lives, one with a man I detest, and one where I look forward so much to seeing a man I want to be with. I can’t say love yet, but I’m close. I daren’t leave G. I’m not convinced either Ben or I would survive. And that would leave the kids to live their lives with the man who ordered their mum’s murder. Because that’s how he would do it. He knows people, people who have always scared me. It would be safer if I said goodbye to Ben now before G gets any inkling, but am I strong enough to do that?
Holly reread the entry. Finally there had been a reference to a fear of the criminality inherent in Carla’s husband, and Holly wrote down the journal date on her notepad then walked across to the photocopier to copy that small section for Tom.
Holly carried in two cups of coffee, and Tom moved a file from his visitor chair for her to sit down.
‘About time you took a break,’ he said with a smile. ‘You’ve hardly moved from that desk all day. Are you getting anywhere near the end?’
‘Not really, but look at this.’ She handed him the copy paper and waited while he read it.
‘So he knows people, does he… He’ll think it’s a bloody good Ouija board by the time I’m finished with him. You’ve kept a file of everything she says with reference to Graham?’
‘Every damn thing,’ Holly smiled. ‘But this was the biggy. She’s noted every time he hit her, every time he was rotten to one of the kids – I’ve photocopied them all, and they’re in a file for you to digest when I’ve finished. All the ones about Ben I’ve left alone, nobody else needs to see them.’
‘Okay, until we have every little thing from that journal, I’m not bringing Graham in, but the second we do, he can get ready. A gun dumped in a damned hydrangea bush; he must think I grew on that bush. He’ll find out I didn’t.’
‘Carla’s never mentioned it since, so whatever he did with it, it’s not in that house.’
‘It’s worth another look though, concentrating on outside space possibly. We turned the interior upside down. We don’t actually know that the gun used in the murder is the same one that was in Graham’s kitchen. I feel a second search warrant coming on, I’ll get one organised for tomorrow. Let’s hope he’s not there, I know he hasn’t been going to work, and it’s always easier when the suspect isn’t around.’
Holly laughed. ‘The second you arrive mob-handed, somebody will be tapping away on their mobile. He’ll be there within ten minutes.’
He sipped at his coffee and grinned. ‘Good. I’m counting on it. Let’s see if he calls me “bastard” this time, especially if we find that gun. Now, you fancy a nice meal out tonight?’
‘Rather have a pizza and a glass of wine in,’ she said. ‘I need to unwind; this journal is all the more sad because Carla’s dead. She adores her kids and that makes it so much worse. Daniel has an eye problem and she really worried about that, and Kelly is streets in front of the other kids with reading and Carla was worrying about that because she felt the books on offer at school were too babyish for what Kelly needed. It’s all normal family stuff until you reach the parts like G knocked over a fresh cup of tea on to my hand tonight. Then you know it’s not a normal family.’