“Don’t you dare go after them,” I warn.
“Emma, I don’t know what’s going on.”
“Stop lying!” I shout. “You know exactly what’s happening. What did you plan to do with those girls?”
Theo’s eyes go wide. “Me? What were you going to do with them? I followed you here, Em. I watched from the Lodge as you got into that canoe and rowed across the lake.”
It’s another lie. It has to be.
“If you thought I was guilty, why didn’t you tell the police?”
“Because,” Theo says, “I wanted to be wrong.”
As did I. All that guilt I’d felt about accusing him. All that shame and remorse. It was for nothing.
“I need to know why you did it,” I say. “Both now and back then.”
“I didn’t—”
I lift the flashlight higher. Theo flinches.
“Hey, let’s talk about this,” he says. “Without the flashlight.”
“I think you had the hots for Vivian,” I tell him. “You wanted her, and she rejected you. You got mad. You made her disappear. Natalie and Allison, too.”
“You’re wrong, Emma. About everything.”
Theo takes a step toward me. I stay put, trying not to show my fear. Yet my hand trembles, the flashlight’s beam quivering skyward.
“Since you got away with it once, I guess you thought you could do it again. Only this time you tried to make me look guilty. My bracelet in the canoe was insurance.”
“You’re troubled, Emma,” he says, carefully choosing his words, making sure not to offend me. “You need help. So how about you drop the flashlight and come with me. I won’t hurt you. I promise.”
Theo risks another step closer. This time, I take a step back.
“I’m done being lied to by you,” I say.
“It’s not a lie. I want to help you.”
We repeat our steps. Forward for him, backward for me.
“You could have helped me fifteen years ago by admitting what you did.”
If Theo had turned himself in, then maybe I wouldn’t have felt so guilty about what happened.
Maybe I wouldn’t have hallucinated the girls.
Maybe I would have been normal.
“Instead, I spent fifteen years blaming myself for what happened to them,” I say. “And I blamed myself for causing you pain.”
Another step for Theo.
“I don’t blame you, Emma,” he says. “This isn’t your fault. You’re sick.”
Another step for me.
“Stop saying that!”
“But it’s true, Em. You know it is.”
Instead of one step forward, Theo takes two. I move backward, first shuffling then turning around and running. Theo chases after me, catching up within seconds. He grabs my arm and jerks me toward him. I cry out, the sound streaking through the dark woods. I hear its echo as I raise the flashlight and swing it against Theo’s skull.
It’s a weak blow. Just enough to shock him into letting me go.
I give him a shove, knocking him off-balance. Then I run again, this time in the opposite direction. Back the way I came. Toward the lake.
“Emma!” Theo shouts at my back. “Don’t!”
I keep running. Heart pounding. Pulse loud in my ears. Trees and rocks seem to lurch at me from all sides. I dodge some, slam into others. But I don’t stop. I can’t.
Because Theo’s also up and running. His footfalls echo through the woods behind me, outpacing my own. He’ll catch up sooner rather than later. Outrunning him isn’t an option.
I need to hide.
Something suddenly looms before me in the darkness.
The monolith.
I run to it, swerving right until I’m at its northwestern edge. I shine my light over the rock wall, seeing the fissure that opens up a foot from the ground.
The cave Miranda had crawled into.
I drop to my hands and knees in front of it and shine the flashlight inside. I see rock walls, dirt floor, a dark recess that runs at least a few feet into the ground. A shimmer of cool air wafts out of it, and I let out an involuntary shiver.
Theo’s voice rings out from somewhere close. Too close.
“Emma? I know you’re here. Come on out.”
I flick off my light, drop to my stomach, and back into the cave, worried I might not even fit. I do. Barely. There’s roughly six inches of space above me and slightly less on each side.
The sky outside the cave brightens. Theo’s flashlight. He’s reached the rock.
I will myself not to breathe as I slide back even more. The cave floor feels uneven, like I’m on a slant, edging downhill.
A flower of light blooms on the ground near the mouth of the cave. I hear the crunch of Theo’s footsteps, the sound of his labored breaths.
“Emma?” he says. “Are you here?”
I move back even farther, wondering how deep the cave goes, hoping it’s far enough to escape the beam of Theo’s flashlight if he aims it inside.
“Emma, please come out.”
Theo’s right outside the cave now. I see his shoes, his toes pointed in the opposite direction.
I continue to slide backward, faster now, praying he can’t hear me. I feel water dripping down the cave walls. Mud starts to squish beneath me, gurgling up between my fingers.
I’m still sliding, although now it’s not by choice. It’s because of the mud and the tunnel’s slant, which turns sharply steeper. I dig my knees and the heels of my palms into the mud, hoping they’ll act as brakes. It only sends me slipping even more.
Soon I’m sliding fast, out of control, my chin leaving a groove in the mud. When I flick on the flashlight still around my wrist, all I see are gray walls, brown mud, the shockingly long path I’ve just traveled.
Then the ground below me vanishes, and I’m suddenly in midair.
Dropping.
Helpless and flailing.
My screams swallowed by their echoes ringing through the cave as I plummet into nothingness.
39
Water breaks my fall.
I drop right into it, caught by surprise, unable to close my mouth before plunging under. Liquid pours in, choking me as I keep falling, somersaulting in the depths, the flashlight’s beam streaking through the water, revealing dirt, algae, a darting fish.