A hard frown creases my brow. “That’s never going to happen.”
Cass’s expression clears. He releases me. “Yeah, let’s hope it doesn’t,” he says as he gets to his feet. I stand too, and he pushes past me to get to the door. “Because it looks like you’ve already made your choice.”
“Cass.”
He slips out the curtain.
“Cass!”
I could have gone after him, but then I’d seem desperate. Falling onto the couch, I sit stroking a thumb over the marks his fingernails left in my arm as I let the latent warmth from his body soak into mine.
He’s full of shit, but that’s nothing new. Of the three of us, his walls are the tallest and the strongest. No one’s ever broken through them. He doesn’t let his guard down for anyone, not even his brothers. But that wasn’t a requirement for joining this war. Every war needs soldiers, and those soldiers need ammunition.
Rage.
Hate.
Vengeance.
In this case, we each had to bring our own. But me and Rube and Apollo? We’re weak, flickering candles compared to Cass.
He’s the motherfucking sun.
Chapter Twenty-One
Trinity
After breakfast, I spend a few hours at the tiny desk in our room catching up on my homework. Jasper is there for a while, reading a book, and then he disappears without a word. I decide to close the bedroom door behind him, just in case someone—Cass—decides to pop in for an unannounced visit.
I wish more and more every day that I had a damn key.
A few minutes before the lunch bell gongs, I hear a soft sound by the door. I whip my head around to stare at the folded paper someone pushed under the door.
The hair on the back of my neck stands up as I wait, but thankfully the door stays closed.
When my heartbeat goes back to normal, I stand and fetch the note.
SHOWER?
The words all are in capitals, stiff and boxy.
Reuben.
He’s letting me use his bathroom again. Which is so sweet, especially with tonight’s dinner in mind. I guess now would be the perfect time to go—everyone else would be in the dining hall, eating. If I hurried, I might still make lunch once I was done, but I’d happily trade a meal for a private shower.
Plus, I’d get to see Reuben again.
The prospect does strange things to my tummy and I have to push away the thought so I can figure out what I’ll be wearing to dinner tonight.
I knock quietly on Reuben’s door. Why does no one except Father Gabriel answer their doors in this place? After a third knock I try the handle, eager to get out of the hall before someone spots me.
The handle turns.
The door opens.
I let out a relieved sigh when it opens and quickly slip inside. The apartment isn’t massive, but the minimalistic decor makes it seem pretty spacious. How do students get apartments like these? What does Cass’s room look like? Zachary’s? Apollo’s?
“Hello?”
No answer.
I head for the bathroom and then hesitate. Is it weird that Reuben’s not here? Maybe he’s sleeping. Or studying with headphones on.
“Hello?” I push open his bedroom door and step inside, biting the inside of my lip. I should be in the shower already but damn it I’m too fucking nosy. I know so little about Reuben that I can’t bear to pass up a chance to poke around.
After all, it’s obvious the Brotherhood doesn’t keep anything in their lair.
I go through Reuben’s closet and find nothing but clothes. Only some books and a lamp on his desk. Notepads inside the drawers, all filled with school work. Something starts nagging at me, but I’m too busy snooping to give it any thought. He could be back at any minute. For all I know, he just stepped outside to make a call or smoke a cigarette.
My eyes move around the room until they settle on the bible on Reuben’s nightstand. When it falls open in my hands a hard shiver courses through me.
Phrases in every sentence of every verse on every page have been highlighted.
I flip through, going faster and faster until I can’t make out anything but an orange blur, but still the odd phrase leaps out at me.
Subject to your masters
Sells his daughter
Lay with him
Great plague
Fiery lake
Seek death
Know that I am God
There’s a noise from the living area.
I snap the bible closed and hurriedly put it back on the nightstand, trying to adjust it the way I had found it. Then I grab my clothes, and dart out of Reuben’s room, fully expecting him to be standing there.
But thank the Lord, he’s not.
I release a noisy sigh, press a hand to my hammering heart, and let myself into the bathroom. After stripping down and folding my dirty clothes in a neat pile, I set Reuben’s blood-red rosary on top of everything. I’m not sure how many times wood can get wet before it starts warping or something but I’d rather not risk damaging it. Plus, I’m sure the water will eventually wash away its glorious smell.
The hot water feels sinfully good. I start lathering my hair, eyes squeezed shut so I don’t get shampoo in them. I’m just about to start rinsing when a hand slithers over my shoulders.
Reuben.
I bite the inside of my lip, half-mortified, half-jumping out of my skin with excitement.
I start to turn around, but then his hands sink into my hair and begin rinsing out the shampoo. It hurts when his fingers tangle in my wet hair, but my body still sparks to life—skin tingling, lips quivering, core tightening.
“Mmm, that’s nice,” I murmur, leaning into his touch.
Once my hair is rinsed, his hands slide down the back of my neck, returning to my shoulders. Strong thumbs sink deep into my flesh, applying pressure right on the precipice between pleasure and pain.
I groan at how magnificent it feels. At how right this moment is. It’s as if wild electricity sparks between us. If I hadn’t been drenched, I’m sure my arm hairs would be standing on end.
“Thank you for letting me use your shower. I really needed…” My words trail away as his hands move lower. He uses the flat of his hands to gently push me forward. On instinct, I put out my hands, bracing myself against the wall.
His knuckles dig into the flesh alongside my spine as he starts working his way down my wet skin.
One hand stays at the small of my back, working the muscles above my hips, the other slides down my ass.
Over the bruises Zachary gave me.
My breath catches at the faint thrum of pain he brings to the surface as he strokes my skin. Did Zachary tell Reuben about our deal last night? Apollo says they tell each other everything.
He squeezes my ass cheek.
I can’t help but groan at the deep-seated pleasure that pain forces into my core.
He lets out a strange sound, as if he’s holding back a groan of his own.
There’s a muted splash as he moves closer. Now both hands are on my ass. My heart stutters as his fingertips sink lower and lower.
“Wait.”
He stops.
“I’m not…I don’t think I’m ready for…for that.” My cheeks heat up at the admission. He must think I’m some kind of cock tease, letting him touch me and then pushing him away when—