If I can’t find Reuben, then the alternative is asking Zachary or Cass. But screw that, there’s no way I’ll be asking Cass anything.
I’ll find Reuben, even if I spend all day looking.
Thank God it doesn’t take me the whole day. A few minutes before lunch I pass the little prayer room. The hall is empty, so on impulse, I decide to slip inside and check for Reuben.
He’s kneeling on one of the cushions, head bowed, hands meshed in prayer.
“Hey,” I call out, and then do a double take.
Is that the same pillow—?
Nope. Push that thought right out of your mind, Trinity.
Walking closer, I brush my collarbones. Is it weird that I miss his rosary? I’d gotten into the habit of toying with it—I had to go back to playing with my hair instead.
I stand for a minute or so behind him, but he doesn’t acknowledge my presence. If my business with him hadn’t been so urgent, I’d have taken the hint and left.
But I have to know what they found. If they have actual evidence against Gabriel…
I go to kneel beside him, grabbing another cushion for my knees. I glance at him and then mimic his pose.
And I manage to stay that way for a whole ten seconds before my patience runs out.
“I’m sorry to interrupt you—”
“Then don’t,” Reuben says.
Wow. Cranky much? I shift on the cushion, glancing at him again.
His red rosary is tangled in his fingers, the crucifix dangling down between his wrists.
I have to get him to talk to me. If not him, then who? Zachary? Cass?
I’d rather poke a fork in my eye.
“I’m sorry about…the other night.”
“Which one?”
At first I think he’s playing it cool. He’d have to be, pretending my rejection didn’t affect him.
But what if it truly didn’t? What if he’s moved on? Apollo said they all had complicated relationships with, well, relationships in general. Sex was even more complicated.
“I was upset, okay?”
Reuben stays silent.
“After what Cass did—”
“What’s this got to do with him?” Reuben asks, finally straightening and turning to look at me.
“W-well, he tricked me.” I frown up at Reuben. Even with both of us on our knees, he’s a foot taller than me.
Just tell him, Trinity. What’s the worst that can happen?
“I thought he was you,” I blurt out.
Reuben frowns. “What are you talking about?”
“The shower?” My cheeks start heating up, but I forge ahead before I can lose my nerve. “I only let him touch me because I thought he was you.”
Reuben watches me, expressionless, silent.
“My eyes were closed.”
Nothing.
“Because of the soap.”
You’d swear he was a marble statue, not a living, breathing man. Although I’m only guessing that he’s breathing right now, because it’s definitely not apparent.
“I just…you’ve got to see it from my perspective, right? You guys…you tell each other everything. Share everything. It’s…kinda weird for me, okay? It feels like you’re ganging up on me.”
And then I stop, because honestly I’ve run out of words.
He tilts his head a little. “Don’t good friends tell each other everything?”
“Not like that,” I say through a laugh, but I cut off the sound prematurely.
How the fuck would I know? My best friend used to be Gabriel.
The thought sends a wave of shameful heat coursing through me.
I realize now I was the only one of us who thought that. To him I was his lover’s daughter. A member of his flock, nothing more. I bet the only reason he ever spoke to me was at the request of my parents. They probably begged him to get me more involved in the church.
In God.
Reuben grabs my chin and lifts my head back up, forcing me to look at him. “I’m not angry with you, Trinity.”
For some fucked up reason, that admission makes my heart flutter. “Oh. You just seemed—”
“But I wouldn’t want to expose you to anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
He releases me, and I wish he hadn’t.
“I realize it’s asking a lot, probably too much, for you to accept us the way we are.”
Something in his tone makes my chest grow tight. “You mean…?”
He waits for me to finish, but I have to swallow down the lump in my throat first.
“You mean…you want to go out with me?”
The edges of his mouth quirk up.
He shakes his head, and grabs hold of one of my curls. His eyes shift to his fingers as he winds it around his digit. “It’s not that simple.”
I try and pull my hair free, but he’s got it good and twisted.
I let out a confused chuckle. “But…then I don’t—”
He pulls me closer. “And even if I asked, you’d never say yes.”
“Of course I would.” My eyebrows flinch into a quick frown. “That’s what…I mean, I just said—”
He laughs, but without humor. “Are you sure?”
I nod, and then wince when the movement tugs at my scalp.
“No backing out,” he warns, moving closer still.
My heart’s beating faster the closer he comes. “Why would I want to?”
“Because,” he murmurs, his lips brushing mine.
My eyes flutter closed and my mouth parts, fully expecting a kiss. “Because why?”
“I’m not sure you can handle it.”
“Only one way to find out.”
“I guess.”
Oh my God, is he never going to kiss me?
“So do it.” Find out, kiss me, whatever the hell. Just do it.
“And what about them?”
“Who?” My thoughts are already evaporating like fog.
“My brothers?”
“Fuck ’em.” I murmur.
“That’s just it, Trinity.”
Despite it tugging my scalp again, I move back so I can look into his eyes. I don’t like the tone in his voice. And when we lock eyes, I like the strange gleam in his even less.
“That’s what? Stop going in circles. I know it’s complicated.” Suddenly, my mouth doesn’t seem to have an off switch anymore. “Apollo told me. Sex, girls, whatever—too distracting. No relationships. But you’re all big boys now, I’m sure you can multi-task.” I lean in again. “Now are you going to kiss me, or what?”
He laughs and slides a hand around the back of my neck. But he still doesn’t close the distance.
“So he told you everything, did he?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmm. Then I guess you really are sure,” he says. “Trinity Malone…will you go out with us?”
Yes!
“Yes!”
Fucking finally.
His eyes light up with a smile. He presses his lips to mine, but we barely touch before my mind finally catches up with me.
Will you go out with us.
Us.
“Wait…” I push away from him and hold up a finger. “Hold on. Did you say—?”
“I thought Apollo explained it?” Now he’s looking…not upset, but maybe a little impatient. Or frustrated. Maybe he really wants to kiss me as badly I want to kiss him.