“Ohhhhhh…” There is no helping the sound that comes out of my mouth as my thighs begin to quiver against his finger. His leg is keeping them from closing together like they’re trying to do as I’m hit with a wave of pleasure unlike anything I can remember experiencing before.
Joe finally lets go of my other hand and presses his free one over my mouth to stifle my moans of satisfaction but it’s harder for me to pull more air in through my nose. Somehow, even that makes the entire experience hotter.
He doesn’t remove his finger until I’m completely spent, all the tension removed from my muscles, and I can barely hold myself up. His hard-on is still pressing into me, and I know he, too, will need some sort of release. “Are you ready for me?” My mind is trying to translate and I figure out he wants to be inside me, the most natural thing I can think of. Before I can respond, he says, “Or is there something else you’d rather I do?”
“No, I want you inside me.” I’m still throbbing, desiring him, and I don’t know how I won’t want him now, night after night.
“Jesus, I’m glad you said that. I want to feel you wrapped around me like a glove.” Pulling down his pants, he says, “Do you want to feel me first—with your hands?”
Absolutely, I do. If I’ve felt a man’s erection with my fingers, I don’t remember it. No longer am I shy. I say, “Yes,” but my hands are already in motion, and I feel its length. I know the bumpy ridges I feel along the shaft are veins engorged with blood, a sign that he wants me, too—and it’s then that an image fills my mind, one where I get on my knees and suck down on someone’s hard cock.
But that image flies away as Joe lets out a long sigh. “Fuck.” Lifting me up, he says, “Guide me inside you, baby.”
There’s no wondering how to do it. I just know somehow, and as I spread my legs to wrap around him, I point his cock in the right direction and meet him, swallowing him into me. I gasp as I’m hit with the force of his cock pounding into me, and before I can fully register what’s happening, my thighs begin quivering again, new waves of pleasure roiling through my brain. This time, I press my mouth into his shoulder to stop any noises that want to escape as I enjoy what he’s doing to me.
Soon, he lets out a soft groan as he releases himself inside me.
Inside my head, I think, we are one now.
For several long seconds, we don’t move. He stays inside me, and the only sounds I can hear are the two of us breathing and the beating of my heart. It seems so quiet in here now, and that makes me worry.
“What if someone heard us?”
Joe chuckles softly. “They only would have heard you—and since when is it a crime to masturbate? Nobody knows I’m in here. They’ll just think you’re getting yourself off.”
I nod. I worried about my neighbors, the people in the rooms on the side of mine, but I know Joe is right. And, while I worried about workers passing by, surely they would have already checked if they’d wanted to.
“Okay, I’m setting you down now.” Lifting me off his softening cock, he places my feet on the floor. As I pull up my pants, I feel what he left behind, making my inner thighs wet, and for some reason, I smile, knowing he’ll be with me even after he’s left for the evening.
Taking my hand, he leads me to the bed and we lie down. He holds me close against his chest and, suddenly, I feel very sleepy. “How was that?” he asks me.
Couldn’t he tell? “Amazing. I feel so…different.”
“Good?”
“Oh, yes.”
We’re quiet for a while until I say, “Tell me more about yourself, Joe.” Suddenly, I want to know everything about him—his childhood, his beliefs, his friends outside here, his family, what he wants to do when he’s out. I know we’ve talked about it some, but I want to know everything. Since I know nothing about myself, I need to fill my brain with something I care about.
“Mmm. Tomorrow, okay?” He’s sleepy, too.
“Okay.” After a bit, I ask, “If you can unlock our doors, can you unlock the ones to the offices?”
“Probably. Why?”
“I want to find my file. Maybe that will tell me more about myself. Where I came from. Why I’m here. Who I am.”
“We can try. It’ll take some planning, but we can do that.”
“And I want to see your room.”
“That would take a lot more doing, baby, unlocking a lot of doors and sneaking around.”
“No, I mean during the day. Why haven’t I ever been to your room?”
He laughs. “It looks just like yours—but, sure, I’ll show you tomorrow after breakfast.”
Suddenly, I’m satisfied and I smile, resting my head again.
Then I feel him kissing my forehead and realize I must have fallen asleep. “I have to go back to my room, Anna. Sweet dreams.”
Lifting my head, I kiss him hard, with passion, signaling to him that I do belong to him. My brain tells me maybe I even love him, but I’m not going to say that. And, as I watch him creep out my door, I fall asleep again before my head hits the pillow.
13
She’s fifteen, maybe sixteen, possibly fourteen. I’m not a good judge. It’s especially hard because I’m instead trying to figure out what she wants. With panicking eyes, she begs for my help. And she’s absolutely gorgeous—long blonde hair, ocean blue eyes. Her lips keep moving, but all I can hear is a scream.
A scream that won’t stop.
Gasping, I sit up in bed. My heart is thumping in my chest and not like it was last night with Joe. This comes from pure fear, and I wonder where the heck this dream is coming from. As I willfully try to slow my breathing, I’m reminded of the very first dream I remember—which is the morning I consider to be the day I woke up.
The first thing I remember.
But that dream was different. Although I can barely recall it, I do remember one thing.
It was a different girl.
The girl in my dream this morning feels like a stranger, whereas the one from the other day seemed almost like me. It’s hard to explain, but I hate the feeling of helplessness, of not being able to do for this girl what she needed.
It’s just a dream, I tell myself and then stretch.
I need to get the pills out from under my mattress before Rose comes in. While I’m sure I could say something like I couldn’t sleep because I was uncomfortable or something else, I’d rather not have to try to lie. So I get down on my knees and lift the mattress, holding it up with one hand and grabbing for the pills with the other. I think to myself that this isn’t a bad hiding place. If I had to wait until later in the day to dump the evidence, I think it could work, but I’m too paranoid about leaving them there untended.
Then I sit back on the bed, resting my back against the wall. I really want to get that girl’s face out of my head, but it’s proving to be quite a task. So, instead, I focus on thoughts of Joe, of last night. How can I be falling in love with him already? Is it because he’s my only true friend here or is it due to the feeling that he knows me underneath it all?
After waiting a while, it feels later than usual, making me wonder again when Rose will show up. I go to the door and look out the window to find my neighbor across the hall also looking out. I hold up my hand in greeting and he also holds up his hand but then bends most of his fingers until he’s flipping me off.