She jumped up and started rummaging around Gemma’s dressing table. There were lots of little bottles of perfume and jars of creams and potions, half of which Jade couldn’t identify as they looked to all be in French. She picked up the nearest glass bottle and spritzed the perfume on her wrist. It smelled floral and strong, making her nose tickle unpleasantly. A lipstick case was standing to attention and Jade opened it, studied the pale hazelnut colour, then smeared it on her lips.
‘This lipstick probably costs more than my entire make-up bag put together,’ Jade said. ‘And it’s made to look like you aren’t wearing any! Ridiculous!’
Maddie was at the bedside table, holding up a photo frame. It was a family shot of two adults and a baby. They looked happy. Maddie looked like she was going to be sick.
‘Let’s go. I don’t want to be here anymore,’ Maddie said.
But Jade was having a great time and didn’t want to leave yet.
She sighed. ‘Whatever,’ she said petulantly. Jade looked around a last time, then had an idea. One last feat of rebellion. A statement, if you will. ‘Wait, one more thing before we go,’ she said to Maddie.
Jade headed into the ensuite bathroom at the back of the bedroom.
*
Maddie watched Jade head into the bathroom, but wasn’t interested in what she was doing now. She just wanted to get out of here. Her initial flash of euphoria when she was mixing up the CDs had long gone and she was finding it difficult to breathe. Everywhere she went, she could smell Gemma’s cloying perfume clinging to the curtains and carpets and bedclothes like a poisonous vapour. She left the main bedroom and wandered down the hall towards Jemima’s room where she knew the air would be sweeter.
The room was beautifully decorated in pastel pinks with tulle curtains and stuffed toys everywhere. It had had many different faces over the years, this room. If she picked at the wallpaper on the far wall and peeled away the top layer, she knew exactly how many layers were hidden underneath. She sat on the tiny bed, breathing in the smells of baby powder and nappy cream. Her head hurt and she was exhausted. She curled up on the bed, snuggling into Jemima’s pillow, wishing not for the first time that Jemima was hers, that she could snatch her up and run away. Tears rushed at her and she buried herself in the pillow.
Definitely time to go. She got to her feet unsteadily and swiped at her face.
Jade was just coming out of the ensuite bathroom when Maddie went to find her. She was pulling up her jeans, fiddling with the zip as she walked.
‘What are you doing?’ Maddie asked.
‘Just left them a little present in their now not so fragrant bathroom,’ Jade said with a cunning grin.
‘You pooped in their toilet?’
‘Yip,’ she said proudly and stalked from the room.
Maddie hurried after her, horrified, but she had to admit feeling a flare of shocked amusement. It was the idea of seeing Gemma’s face when she discovered it. Of course, Greg would get the blame for not flushing, but still, it was kind of funny.
They both headed back downstairs to the front door, with Jade moving a picture frame out of place here and an ornament there as they went. She paused at the console table for a moment and shifted some things around as Maddie opened the front door.
‘Come on, let’s go,’ Maddie said. Jade followed her out and closed the door with a slam.
Maddie unlocked her car and they climbed in, relief flooding over Maddie that her foray into criminality was now over. Just as she started the engine, a large shadow loomed over them and Gemma’s Range Rover pulled up beside them. Maddie’s breath hitched as she realised just how close they had come to getting caught.
‘Oh my God, she’s here,’ Maddie said, her pulse racing.
‘Fuck, that was close!’ Jade said.
‘Stay here.’ Maddie got back out of the car and waved at Gemma as she came over. ‘Hi, I just came to collect my car. I knocked but there was no answer.’
‘Ok.’ Gemma did not seem pleased to see her. She was dressed in gym gear and held a rolled-up yoga mat in her arms. ‘How are you?’
‘Fine, fine.’
‘You sure? You look a bit flushed.’
‘My friend, Jade, had the heater on in the car,’ Maddie gesticulated over her shoulder, ‘and it was a bit hot for me. Anyway, I’ll get out of your way.’
‘You should watch that, Maddie. It could be the menopause. You’re the right age for it,’ Gemma replied. ‘I’ll WhatsApp you my smoothie recipe later. You should try it. It’s great for women of your age – hot flushes can be quite debilitating. Or so I hear.’
Maddie’s fists clenched at her sides.
‘Thanks, I’ll try it. Listen, can I come over and see Jemima sometime this week? Greg said it would be ok.’ He hadn’t, but she knew he would if she asked.
Gemma physically bristled in front of her. ‘It’s a busy week for us with her swimming lessons and art classes and things. I’ll let you know.’
‘Right, well, better get off.’ Maddie waved at the back window of Gemma’s car and Jemima waved back from her car seat.
Maddie got back in the car and started the engine. As she reversed down the driveway, Gemma was still standing in the same spot, staring after them. Jade wound down the window, leant out, flipped her middle finger at Gemma and cackled loudly.
Maddie shrieked, ‘Jade!’ She panicked and hit the accelerator too hard, making the wheels skid and squeal in the gravel as they pulled off. ‘Oh my God! I can’t believe you did that! And shat in her toilet!’
‘Well, now that I’ve met her, I really can’t understand why it’s not her you would want to kill,’ Jade said.
‘Oh, don’t get me wrong, Gemma is a giant pain in the bottom, but Greg is the one who cheated. Either one would deserve it, honestly.’
THEN
‘This time will be different. I can feel it,’ Greg says to me as we leave the clinic.
I smile and try to join him in his optimism, but I’m struggling. With every miscarriage, a little part of me dies too. Greg is always so quick to hop back in the saddle so to speak, always ready to try again. Like the baby we just lost is that easy to replace.
He convinced me into trying IVF and the doctors are hopeful, considering that getting pregnant isn’t the problem.
Staying pregnant is.
I’m tired and I want to go home, crawl into bed, turn my face to the wall and stay there until the baby is full term and ready to come out.
If there is a baby.
It’s all I can think about. I try and get on with my day, doing everything required of me – shopping, cooking, cleaning. I have taken a step back from the business and have employed a PA for Greg so that I can take time out to concentrate on this project. I say I have employed one, but it is Greg who insisted. She seems nice, Gemma. Undeniably pretty and she has a lot to learn, makes some silly mistakes, but she’s ambitious and she will keep Greg on his toes – and he needs that as he can be quite fickle and unfocused when it comes to the business. All grand ideas and schemes to make money, but not a practical bone in his body. That was my job – to tighten the purse strings, rein him in, burst his creative bubble when he was reaching too far towards the sun.