“I need you to give me a gun.”
10
Penny
Luca didn’t give me a gun. He did, however, laugh in an understated, totally endearing and equally demeaning way before declining my request with a subtle apology.
“You’re too volatile at the moment,” he’d said. “And it will ruin this tough-guy thing I’ve got going if a woman under my protection starts fighting her own battles.”
He’d meant the latter as a joke.
I didn’t find it funny.
But he, along with Hunter and Torian, listened in silence as I talked them through my rough sketch of the house and yard. I told them where I thought the guards might be—inside and out—and gave them my knowledge of the weapons they should be holding—a rifle and knife—along with my assumption of any training they may have had—limited to none.
I was treated like an integral part of the team. They asked innumerable questions, ran through strategies, and made me eat to increase my energy levels while we came up with different plans of action, each option having multiple contingencies.
By the time they were ready to make a move, night had fallen, and Tobias had claimed a few hours of awake time to become marginally settled in Keira’s presence.
She was good with him. Too good. Which pissed me off. His naive kiddo brain took in every kind word she said like a sponge. He gobbled up her kindness and generosity as if it were edible gold. So now I like her even less.
Their incremental bond wasn’t enough to make me feel comfortable leaving him on the island, but their connection appeased me to the point where I could step onto the boat knowing he was safer with Keira than he’d be back at home.
Then there’s my brother, the man who no longer tries to meet my gaze. The one whose aura seeps with such deep sorrow as we race over the moonlit water I can’t stop my breath from catching whenever I look his way.
“Are you warm enough?” Luca settles next to me on the boat’s bench seat, his attention on the goosebumps along my arms.
“I’m good.” The sea breeze makes my loose shirt billow at the hem, the sweep of mother nature’s kiss the only comforting sensation out here in solitude. It’s the beauty before the approaching storm, but I refuse to let the thought of what’s to come send me into a spiral.
I need to stop thinking about the possibility of the guards not acting according to how I anticipate. Or that my sisters could already be dead. The unknowns try to haunt me like a conniving devil on my shoulder. I can’t give in to the darkness. Not yet.
“You nervous?” Luca’s voice is barely audible over the rush of water against the hull.
He makes me nervous.
Returning to the only home I’ve known for the last eighteen-plus months seems more natural in comparison. At least I can predict what will happen inside those walls. The suffocating fear of what comes next is almost a comfort because of its familiarity. It’s what I’m used to. What I know.
With Luca, I’m in unchartered territory.
“I’m cautious,” I admit. “I don’t hold the same confidence you all have.”
“You’re our main priority. We’re not going to let anything happen to you.”
His protection attempts to seep into me, the wisps of kindness brushing over my extremities. I’d love for the effects to sink deeper. To penetrate. If only my self-preservation didn’t see his ability to soften me as a threat.
“You all seem to know exactly what you’re doing,” I murmur. “How can you have confidence when you’re going into a situation where you know you’ll be outnumbered more than two to one?”
He grips the bench seat on either side of his thighs and ponders his answer for longer than necessary. He opens his mouth, only to close it, then glances away.
“You’re faking the confidence, aren’t you?” I try to read him. To see what he’s attempting to hide. “This is all a huge risk.”
“Of course it’s a risk. Doesn’t mean I’m not confident. I know what I’m doing.”
“How? This situation can’t be a common occurrence.”
He pauses, his gaze gentle. “I’ve had training.”
“Training? How can you train for—”
“I was a SEAL, Penny.”
I pull back an inch, my surprise hitting me hard as he glances away. He seems embarrassed by his honorable past.
“I don’t understand.” I lean to the side, reclaiming his gaze. “Why did you—”
“It’s not up for discussion.”
Right… his past is a touchy subject. I guess I should be pleased we have something in common, but what he tries to hide only leaves me more unsettled.
“What about the others? I doubt my brother became a SEAL while I was here. What training does he have? Does he have experience with this type of thing? Is he used to killing people, too?”
His expression remains impassive, neither confirming nor denying. “What Decker does and doesn’t have experience with is something you should discuss with him. I’m not getting between the two of you again.”
My pulse increases as I picture Sebastian as a murderer. I see visions of him killing people. Fighting for his life. Gunning down strangers. The aggression doesn’t fit what I know of the man from my past. It doesn’t mesh at all.
“I want to know if he’s going to be able to look after himself.” The question grazes my throat, the hint of a plea layered in my tone. “He’s different from the man I grew up with. He’s a stranger now.”
“Then get to know him.” He jerks his chin at Sebastian, standing beside Hunter at the steering wheel. “I’m sure he’d appreciate you attempting to talk to him.” He pushes to his feet, distancing me from necessary answers.
“Please.” I reach out to stop his escape, my fingers an inch from contact before I retract at the last second. “Just tell me if he’s capable of going through with this. Is he able to kill someone in cold blood?”
He glances down at my hand as my arm retreats, then slowly raises his gaze to mine. “He’s capable.”
Another part of me dies.
After everything I’ve been through, I wouldn’t have thought it possible. But there it goes, the sinking feeling in my stomach expanding to take over my chest.
Despite our plan already being in motion, a part of me had hoped for Luca’s uncertainty. That he didn’t know if Sebastian was one of them. The bad guys. The brutal.
Not only did his words confirm it, his pity-filled gaze cements the walls of the hollowness carved out inside me.
Sebastian isn’t Sebastian anymore.
“Hunter is more than capable, too,” Luca adds. “So you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
I scoff out a derisive laugh, hoping the effort will dislodge my vulnerability. “I wasn’t overly concerned about him. The vibe he gives off is threatening enough.”
A grin tweaks Luca’s lips, the sly expression slightly endearing in the glow of the moon. “He may look scary, but he’s got a soft side. If his woman asked him to put on a dress and perform a ballet recital, I’m pretty sure he’d comply without skipping a beat.”