“Listen.” She reaches for me, then thinks better for it, her hand falling to her side. “The perversions weren’t contained to the Greek islands. They happened at home, too. And I was a victim.”
It’s my turn to pull back, my retreat made in confusion. “What sort of victim?”
“One like you. I was only a child when I lost my innocence to a man.”
“Luther?” The name whispers from my lips.
“No. Not my father. But it was someone he knew was a monster and he allowed them access to me anyway.”
My punishment increases. The anger I had for her moments before escapes in a vacuum. One minute, it’s there. The next, it’s gone, being replaced by more choking guilt.
Every time I think I’ve become accustomed to how shocking the crimes of men can be, the world teaches me differently. I’m repeatedly shown that there’s no escaping the misery.
“What I was put through is nothing in comparison to what you’ve endured.” She holds my gaze, now backing away from my scrutiny. “But I’m not clueless to your suffering. And I struggle every day knowing I could’ve put a stop to it sooner if I didn’t think I was the only one. So I’m sorry.” Her eyes begin to water as she sucks in a deep breath. “I’m sorry for my ignorance… I’m sorry for the actions of my father…” Her lips begin to tremble. “And I’m sorry for falling in love with your brother, but Sebastian is the one who saved me, and I’m sure he can do the same for you if only you’d let him.”
Goosebumps skitter over my skin, every inch of me touched by her words.
I don’t know what to say. I’m not strong enough to apologize to the daughter of my rapist, no matter the severity of her plight.
She gives me a sad smile through the awkward silence. “Would you like something to eat?” Keira doesn’t wait for a response. She turns and walks for the kitchen, the muted sound of torture continuing to carry down the hall. “Tobias woke while you were gone. He asked about you.”
Tobias.
Oh, God. For a moment, I’d completely forgotten about him, my thoughts entirely selfish. “Was he scared?”
“No. Mostly curious. He sat with me for a while. I made him hot cocoa and told him about his family in Portland. He seems like a good kid.”
“He is a good kid.” The muffled cries grow louder, the sweet promise of retribution plaguing me. “Did he go back to sleep?”
“He did. But I’m not sure how long he will stay that way with all the noise.”
I cringe, knowing exactly how much that little boy can sleep through. His slumber could withstand the suffering of me and my sisters on a nightly basis. The current muffled cries are nothing in comparison.
“What is it?” she asks. “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head, but I’m unable to break free of the memories as I continue for the hall. Living nightmares blur my vision. The beatings. The restraints.
“Penny, wait.”
I don’t listen. I reach the hall and turn left into unmarked territory as her quickened footsteps give chase.
“You can’t go in there.” She rushes after me, stalking at my back as I pass door upon door, the wails building. “You don’t want to see what they’re doing.”
I stop before the last door. The one that carries the blissful sounds. “Yes, I do.” I want to see it. Remember it. Breathe it deep.
She squeezes in front of me, blocking my path. “I’m sorry. I can’t let you in there.”
“Are you sure?” I hold her gaze. “Because I thought we finally reached common ground.”
“I’m trying to shield you from what’s happening.”
“And why is it that everyone seems to think they know what’s best for me? First Luca, then Sebastian, now you. I’ve witnessed unimaginable things. Traumatic, disgusting things that will forever be stuck in my head. And yet you think I can’t handle seeing a little torture? That I’m not owed the gift of his suffering?”
She doesn’t answer. Doesn’t move either.
“Get out of my way, Keira.” I nudge closer. “Don’t crack the fragile ground we stand on.”
“God damn it.” She steps to the side.
I push through the door to a soulless exercise room. It takes a few short seconds for another shout to tell me the men must be in the sauna in the far corner.
“Please be careful.” Keira continues to follow. “They won’t want to be disturbed.”
“I don’t care what they want.” I yank open the wooden door to four sets of eyes turning my way. Cole sits on the wooden bench, leaned back, relaxed, while Sebastian and Luca loom over the bloodied man roped to a chair. Otis’s eyes are now swollen and red with his naked chest marked with a hundred tiny cuts.
He’s become unrecognizable in such a short space of time. So beautifully, brutally foreign.
“Can I help you?” Cole raises a brow.
Sebastian steps back from the man in the chair, his knuckles stained with blood. The tight pinch of his face speaks of shame. My shame. Otis must have told him something.
“What did he say?” I inch farther into the small space.
I get no response. Luca doesn’t look at me. Sebastian turns away. It’s only Torian who pays me attention.
“What did he say?” I ask him. “What did he tell you about me?”
“Does it matter? We’re not here for a history lesson. We’re only interested in shutting down my father’s operation.”
“Cole,” Keira warns. “Don’t be heartless.”
He gives a tight smile. “Forgive me, sister. I assure you he hasn’t said much.”
Not much. But still something.
My heart clenches at the possibilities. I don’t want them knowing. I can’t stand the thought of them having access to the intimate details of my shame. It’s too much. I can’t breathe.
“He’s only talking shit to waste time.” Luca turns to face me, his eyes wild and animalistic. “He may have thought bad-mouthing you was a good idea. I taught him otherwise.”
“What did he say?” I step closer. “What did he tell you?”
His mouth presses into a tight line, his jaw ticking as he wipes sweat from his brow with his forearm. “Nothing helpful.”
“I told them you liked it, bitch,” Otis sneers. “You fucking loved it. We all knew.”
My eyes burn. My throat, too.
He told them. He repeated the lies from earlier.
“You should get out of here.” Luca indicates the door with a wave of his hand. “Go on.”
“It’s not true.” I shake my head, my hands trembling, my heart tapping out an erratic beat. “You can’t believe him.”
“Of course we don’t fucking believe him.” Luca steps into me, backing me toward the door. “We know it’s not true.”
The cringe on Sebastian’s face says otherwise. His expression is the definition of judgment.
“I’m not leaving.” I stand my ground, not retreating despite his approach. “Let me watch.”
“No.” Sebastian’s denial is adamant. “Go back to Tobias. He shouldn’t be left alone.”