The homestead. Lilith House. Keep focused, Cam.
He dropped the stone in his pocket and they began to walk through the woods, shafts of sunlight beaming through the breaks in the trees. Their fingers brushed, and he wanted to take her hand but he didn’t. Instead he grasped the stone in his pocket, running a finger over its time-worn edges. It had been pummeled and tumbled, its coarseness knocked away until it washed up on the sunny shore, smooth . . . soft. The time at the stream with Scarlett had felt that way too . . . gentle, peaceful, in an existence that had only rarely experienced such things. It would be a reminder of what that’d felt like, even if it could only ever be temporary. Hell, maybe it’d serve as a wish that perhaps he could be made softer from the hardships he’d endured as well. Interesting thought, foreign even. Each instance he spent time with Scarlett shifted something different inside of him. He wasn’t sure he liked it.
After another few minutes, she turned to him. “By the way, you didn’t tell me why you came by in the first place.”
“Huh?”
“You stopped by Lilith House and one of the men told you where to find me. But why’d you stop by?”
“Oh, uh, I was just checking in. Making sure everything was okay after the other night.”
She glanced at him sideways and he sensed some disappointment in her expression. “I appreciate it, I do. But you really don’t have to feel responsible for my safety. I’ll call you if I require your professional services.”
He held back a smile. He’d ruffled her feathers by suggesting his visit was for purely professional reasons. He liked that it bothered her. It meant she was hoping his visit was personal. And the truth? It had been. He’d wanted to see her, plain and simple. The professional check-in was going to be his excuse. “Actually, the check-in was really more for the bird.”
She stopped, putting her hands on her hips. He stopped too, turning to look at her. “The bird? There was some kid crawling around through the walls of my house, and you came back to check on the bird?” His lip quirked. She looked so damned indignant and so damned beautiful.
At the movement of his lip, her brow dipped. “You’re joking.”
“I’m joking.” He wasn’t very good at it. He knew that. And now he’d made her mad.
She made a soft huffing sound and continued walking. He caught up with her, grabbing her hand and swinging her around. “I came to check on you because I wanted to make sure you were okay, but also because . . . I wanted to see you.” Damn, no, I shouldn’t have said that.
She tilted her head, watching him. “You’re very hot and cold, Deputy.”
Deputy. He released a breath, ran a hand through his short-cropped hair. She was right. He was. He was up and down and all over the map. He had reasons for that. He wanted her, and he shouldn’t. He was fighting himself because he had to. “I know.” He sighed. “Things are . . . complicated right now. I need to focus on my job.” Excuses. Shit, she was looking at him like she saw right through him. She probably did because he was a shit liar. There went that softness between them. He’d ruined it.
She nodded slowly, taking her lip between her teeth for a moment before letting it go. “Well.” She let out a loud whoosh of air. “Things are complicated with me too. I’ve got a lot going on.” She waved her hand in the general direction of Lilith House. They’d moved close enough now that they could hear the soft echoes of banging from the work crew. “I really don’t have time for . . . well, anything. So . . .”
He glanced at her. “Just bad timing,” he murmured.
“Right. Bad timing.” She lifted her chin as they stepped from the forest, looking both accepting and determined.
Desperation clawed at his insides. She was drifting away from him, and he was letting her. He opened his mouth to say something, what, he didn’t know, but—
“Haddie’s back,” she said happily, picking up their pace. “Mrs. Schmidt very nicely offered to drive Haddie home,” she went on as they drew nearer. It seemed like she was talking more to fill the awkward silence than to make any real conversation. “Said she was going to be out at a church meeting . . .”
He looked ahead to see a white Camry parked in front of the house.
“Scarlett—”
“Thanks for coming by, Deputy,” she said, stepping ahead. “Haddie!”
He stopped next to his truck watching as Scarlett turned, waving to the Camry as it drove away. Dismissed. He’d been dismissed.
Get in your truck, Cam. Drive away. Mason has access to the house now. There’s no reason for you to be here. But his feet kept moving, walking to where Scarlett stood with the little blonde-haired girl he’d seen lying on the blanket the day he’d installed the lock on her front door. Before he’d made it to them, Scarlett turned, the box he knew contained the baby bird held in her hands. “See for yourself, Deputy.” She pulled back the black fabric to reveal a tiny portion of the sleeping bird before covering it again. “Alive and well. And due for a feeding so I’d better get to it.” She turned from him and stopped short, a gasp emerging as she went to her knees. “Haddie?”
Camden’s heart jumped as the hair on his neck rose. The angelic-looking little girl was standing in the gravel, visibly trembling, a look of shocked horror on her face as she stared up at him, unblinking. Beneath her, a pool of urine was seeping into the stone.
“Haddie, baby, what is it?” Scarlett’s voice held a note of panic. “Oh, honey. You’ve wet yourself.” She stood, turning and thrusting the bird at Camden. He took it as Scarlett turned back to her daughter and scooped Haddie up in her arms and practically ran for the house.
For a moment, Camden simply stood there, watching them disappear inside Lilith House, his gut churning. She’d looked terrified of him, so terrified that she’d lost control of her bladder? What the hell just happened?
He practically jumped out of his skin when the bird in his hands started screaming to be fed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Thirteen Years Ago
She’d been living at Lilith House for two months. Eight weeks of nothing but school work, worship services, chores, lights out at nine p.m., and waking with the sun. The only bright spot in an otherwise dismal existence, were the times she could manage to sneak away and check in with Dreamboat and his menagerie of patients. She rarely stayed for long, not only because she couldn’t take the risk herself, but because she wasn’t willing to chance the kids getting in trouble.
Look at me, Mom, two months at Lilith House and here I am making unselfish choices for the first time in my lousy life.
I’m reformed after all!
My utmost for His glory!
She really hated this weird—and yes, she could admit it, scary—fucking place.
She hated the stupid rituals, the meaningless ceremonies, the complete lack of technology, an absence of even the smallest pleasures, those devout weirdos in white suits who had joined a few of their services, and all the endless talk of a god that was unrecognizable to Kandace.
Two months down, seven to go. She needed to make the most of her remaining time there so when she left, she was armed. She needed to gather some information about the kids in order to take something with her that had a chance at helping them escape Lilith House. What kind of a life was it for them? She was practically climbing the walls after eight weeks. What must it be like to live there permanently? No, something was off with their situation and she needed to find out what. She needed to be brave. She’d successfully snuck into Ms. Wykes office once, and she’d successfully visited the kids on several occasions now. There weren’t cameras in the walls. After all, technology was a tool of the devil. No one had eyes in the backs of their heads. Jasper roamed the halls like the hellhound he was, but with his big, cumbersome body, she could hear him coming a mile away. She’d watched. She’d learned everyone’s routine in her short time there. This was worth the risk.