While he’s put together, I’m the opposite.
Yes, I’m your ex who’s eggnog hungover, stressed from being fired, and wearing sweatpants and snow boots hot mess.
The pictures online didn’t do him justice. His jaw is sharper, and he’s now a facial hair supporter. The emotions and memories I’ve had with him surface like a river overrunning after a storm.
He tilts his head to the side, slightly smirking. “Wasn’t aware I’m a stranger, Mariah.”
Thelma’s confusion at my comment is evident on her face. Anyone who’s lived in Blue Beech longer than ten years knows our history. I’m not even sure why I called him a stranger. It was the first insult that came to mind—a defense mechanism hoping he’d step away or talk shit so I could continue to hate him.
“Hi!”
My attention slides from him to a little girl at his side.
“I’m Nicole,” she goes on even though I already know who she is. I’ve seen her around with Shane and Helena, Miles’s parents. When I asked about her, Phoebe told me they had a baby after Miles moved.
“Hi,” I reply with a wave. “I’m Mariah.”
She nods. “You’re Evie and Ethan’s aunt.”
I gulp. “I am.”
“I love hanging out at their house.” Her tone is polite and sweet. “It’s so much fun.”
My jaw goes slack.
What?
Hanging out at my sister’s house?
My family doesn’t hang out with her family.
We avoid them at all costs.
Since I’m not a rude jerk to kids, I smile. “It is fun. You’re friends with Evie and Ethan?”
She nods eagerly. “Yes!”
“Come on,” Miles says, jumping into the conversation. “Let me buy you a drink for old times’ sake.”
Without waiting for my answer, he orders a black coffee while Nicole opts for a cookie dough hot chocolate. Thelma doesn’t ask if I’m okay with him buying my coffee and tells him the total for our drinks. He pulls out his wallet, plucking out a few bills, and then discreetly slips a twenty in the tip jar. No one says a word as the employee starts making our drinks.
“Here ya go,” she says, handing them over.
“Thanks for the coffee,” I say before turning around quickly and leaving. It’s impolite, but I’d rather be curt than for him to see the emotions swirling through me. I’m easily read, and if the past hasn’t changed, Miles can read me like a book.
So, I hightail it out of there.
“Mariah,” he calls out, following me outside. “Talk to me for a sec.”
“Why?” I ask, and as much as I don’t want to, I look at him. “I need to get going.”
Blowing out a breath, he says, “It’s been a long time.”
“It has.” My voice goes low, almost shy.
He slips his hands into his jeans pockets. “How have you been?”
I shiver. “Miles, do you really want to do this?”
“Do what?”
“Have unnecessary small talk in the cold.” I dramatically shiver.
“I’m up for having small talk in the coffee shop?” He jerks his head toward Lava Java.
“That’s not … it’s not a good idea.”
“Why’s that?”
Because my heart hurts looking at you.
I remember every feeling, every emotion, and I want them back.
I forget how bad you broke me.
Java Lava’s door opens, and Nicole comes out, talking to another kid.
“I really have to get back to my sister’s,” I say. “They’re waiting on me.”
I’m lying, but it’s all I have at the moment.
“What about later?” he asks.
“Not a good idea.”
“Why?”
A twinge of anger surfaces.
How dare he act like he doesn’t know?
“You know why,” I hiss.
“Come on,” he groans. “It’s been years.”
I level my gaze on him. “Years don’t erase betrayal.”
“I never betrayed you or your family.” He scratches his head before his voice grows harsh. “It was my family’s company. What was I supposed to do?”
Those words—he’s said them to me dozens of times.
It was his argument when I ended things.
I cross my arms, gripping my coffee. “It doesn’t matter. It’s the past.”
“Exactly.” He cocks his head to the side. “Time for everyone to move on.”
“We’ve moved on, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten.”
With that, I turn around and get in my car.
“Question,” I sing when I walk into Phoebe’s kitchen.
“Maybe an answer,” she replies, loading a plate into the dishwasher.
“Were you going to tell me the twins have playdates with the Lancrofts?”
Her face is unreadable. “Nicole comes over and hangs out with them sometimes.” She half-shrugs. “It’s not a big deal. Evie and Ethan have nothing to do with our family’s drama.”
“You’re hanging out with the enemy.” I take a long swig of my latte.
“She’s a seven-year-old girl.”
Her indifference lights a fire inside me, and I thrust my finger into my chest. “I broke up with my boyfriend because of what his family did to ours, and now you’re letting your kids hang out with them? What the hell, Phoebe?”
Her face softens in understanding, remembering my heartbreak. “What happened between Mom and them was years ago. It’s time we move on.”
“Do Mom and Dad know about this?”
She shuts the dishwasher, dries her hands off on a towel, and sets it down. “They do.”
I wince. “And?”
“They’re okay with it.”
Anger spirals through me. I gave up so much. I broke my heart, lost the love of my life, and now they’re acting as if nothing happened.
And hiding it from me.
“Another reason for me not to come home,” I seethe. “You’re all liars.”
“Quit acting like that,” Phoebe groans. “People grow up. Time heals wounds.”
I nod, sniffling, and walk away from her. The tears surface as I take the stairs two at a time to the guest room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, with tears falling down my cheeks, I remember the day I ended my relationship with Miles. There was so much pain we couldn’t stop. My parents demanded we end things, refused to let me see him, and told me I’d be a traitor to the family if I stayed with him.
I was seventeen and did as I was told.
Now, everyone is moving on, but it’s harder for me.
Harder because I still have yet to fall in love with anyone because I’ve never met a man as great as Miles. Hard because I’m afraid of falling in love and losing it again. Heartache kills, aches like a wound that’ll never heal, that I never want to experience again.
After an hour of sulking, of wiping away my tears, I go downstairs.
“Down Home Pub tonight,” Spencer says. “You’re coming.”
I shrug. “Fine with me.”
Every year, we get together with our friends and have drinks at the town’s pub. My best friend, Lauren, has already texted me to remind me. If I stay in, she’ll be on Phoebe’s doorstep, demanding I have a cocktail with her.