Once certain body parts rejuvenated anyway.
I gently pulled out of her, holding the edge of the condom as I rolled off her. Then I sat up and looked over at her. She had her arm over her face, and she was still breathing hard.
Carefully, I nudged her arm away so I could see her. “It’s never been like this for me either.”
She glanced away.
I tugged back her chin so she would look at me. Her eyes were so damn sad. “Is that so bad?”
She rolled onto her side before tucking her hand under a pillow, but she didn’t answer me.
I blew out a breath and went into the bathroom to take care of the condom.
When I came back out, she was waiting for me. I took it as a good sign that she was still wearing my T-shirt instead of changing into her clothes. She touched my chest briefly then slid past me and closed the door behind her.
Dammit, why was everything so hard with her? Couldn’t she see how good we were together? Would it really be so awful trying to make this work?
Maybe I was an asshole.
Padding over to the bench near the dresser in my room, I pulled out my notebook from my messenger bag and sat down. Now that I knew more about her, I could fill in some of the blurrier details. The little mole beside her chin and another on the edge of her collarbone. The hoops she wore.
I didn’t know how long she was in the bathroom, but when I looked up, she was staring down at my drawing.
Her eyebrows knitted as she drank in the details—including the red scarf I’d adjusted on the form. It was an undulating ribbon of cashmere dancing around her curves.
“Are you drawing me?”
“Drew, actually.” I turned the pad around so she could get a better look.
“Naked?”
“Well, it was more of a wish fulfillment thing at first. This crazy-beautiful girl kisses me under the mistletoe—”
“And so, you what? Go for an anime version of me with lusher tits and ass?”
“No.” I looked down at the drawing. “Okay, so it’s a little more of an idealized woman instead of you.”
“Thanks.”
“No.” I growled. “It’s coming out wrong. I just drew you because I couldn’t get you out of my head. And now you’re here, and I wanted to capture you.” I set the notebook down and touched the little mole on her chin. “The real you.”
I traced the back of my knuckles down her neck. “Longer, more elegant neck and finer shoulders. Beautiful, firm breasts.” I cupped her for a moment before sliding down to her hips and the scrap of lace she’d put back on.
I dug my fingers into her hips and drew her closer to me. “The real woman I’m getting to know is the one I want, not the moment’s fantasy.”
She was still frowning, but she didn’t pull away. “It’s a lot, Callum.”
“I’m an artist—for real. It’s how I process things. It was the only thing I could do to figure out how to keep the moment.”
“But I’m naked.”
I huffed out a half laugh. “Well, I’m still a guy. And you’re so goddamn beautiful, you stole my brain cells.” I lifted my hands to cup her face. “I admit it, I’m a little weird. But you have a notebook full of floating heads from magazines that you attacked with scissors and glue.”
She laughed and relaxed a little. “I suppose that’s true.”
I pressed a light kiss to her mouth and led her back to bed. “Stay with me tonight.”
“I should really head home.”
I flicked back the covers. “I promise I won’t ask for more if you still want to leave in the morning. I hope I can change your mind.” I took her hand and toyed with the ring on her thumb. I’d need to add that to the drawing. “Give me tonight, at least.”
She sat on the mattress and tucked her legs under the sheet. I turned out the light and slid in beside her. Sometimes the dark was an easier place to talk. I curled her into my body, my front to her back until she relaxed against my chest.
“Tell me about your new job.”
She settled into the abundance of pillows. “It’s not really new.”
“Feels new.”
“More like advancing from intern to novice.”
“Explain.”
“I’ve been going to night school—or day. However you want to put it. Part time for a really long time. In between working two jobs, I was able to get some experience at the salon while I took all the certification classes. But I also had to get so many hours in at the school salon. It was a lot of hair-cutting for free. Well, mostly free. I was able to get some tips on the side, but the school does cheap haircuts to get people to come in. The one nice thing is I learned to cut all hair types. It broadened my training, going slower.”
She lightly drew her nails up and down my arm as she spoke of the various hardships of training to get ready to go out into the real world. Like an apprenticeship. I likened it to my own job. I’d worked as a teaching assistant for peanuts until I’d finally finished my education to be a professor.
I’d felt like something was missing, so I’d turned to art. I understood some of what she was describing.
“Because school took so long, I feel like I can go right to a booth rental at Melody’s shop.”
I threaded my fingers through her hair as she spoke about her dreams. For the first time, it seemed like I was getting to know her.
At least it was a start.
“I can work for myself, finally. No one else.”
“Seems like you’ve been doing that all along.”
“It’s different.” Her voice was getting drowsy. “I actually think I’m ready for the first time.”
I continued to stroke her hair, a sensation of peace coming over me. This was right where I was supposed to be. She was exactly who—and what—I’d been meant to find.
Her deep, even breathing dragged me along into dreams as well. I dreamed of her in a strange old house with rooms of all different sizes. A maze of a place full of towers and large glass arches. Her voice was a soft echo full of laughter, but it always seemed just out of reach.
Finally, I found her on the wraparound porch. A white dress shirt teased her thighs, and those big gold hoop earrings glinted almost as brightly as her smile.
A knock at the door dragged me out of the dream.
Sun slanted into the room. I rolled over, but the sheets had long ago cooled.
She was gone.
I stumbled out of bed and jerked on my jeans. Another knock had me scrubbing my face with my hands to wake up. “What?”
“Maid service.”
“Can you come back?”
“Yes, sir.”
I glanced around the room. There wasn’t a trace of her left. Her coat, her bag, and even her scarf were all gone this time.
Disappointment carved through me, quick and sharp.
I trudged into the bathroom to do my business then brushed my teeth. I didn’t want to wash her off my skin quite yet.
I went back into the main part of my room and saw something white propped up on my notebook on the dresser.
You gave me one of the loveliest Christmases that I can remember. I haven’t had a whole lot to smile about in the last few years, but you gave me that. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay. It’s just easier this way.