Probably not.
The formative years were where all the scar tissue came from, and we just learned to live with it.
“Hunter. What are you doing here?”
I didn't get up or turn around immediately, when I felt her presence behind me, as still as I was. Finally biting the bullet, I spun around on the stool, facing the woman who gave up and banished me to an even worse life. She divorced him. She knew what kind of hell he was, and it made me a demon.
“Well, I'm really glad I don't live here… so welcoming.” The sarcasm in my voice felt vile, but necessary.
Her face was an unmistakable shade of seeing a ghost and her body was rigid from not wanting to bridge the space either. “I didn't expect you. Why are you in Florida?”
“Don't worry. I'm here to visit Sam. You know, your daughter I took care of while you wallowed in your divorce and then midlife crisis?”
Her fiancé coddled her, and now I understood the point of him. He was there to shield her from the ugly truth.
Now I had a child bride stepmom and an “in denial” soon-to-be stepdad. The amount of joy was unreal.
“Hunter…” her shaky voice never could dish it out.
“Don't worry, Mom. I'll be out of your hair in no time.” I turned to Sam, who was used to these dynamics. “Let's get ice cream.”
Our mom stumbled on her words and stressed getting out some parental advice: “Don't be out late! Hunter, I'm serious.” We all knew she was serious—seriously incapable of being the parent either of us needed. Her life in shambles took priority.
Sam slid into the passenger's seat, and I peeled out of her driveway just to drive home how much she didn’t control me and never would.
“You know she's a lot better now…” The remorse was clear in her voice.
“Sometimes sorry isn't enough to fix the past, Sam.”
Her long, honey blonde hair blew back from the window cascading against the car seat. It almost sparkled in the sunlight. She would always be my baby sister, but now she was probably catching attention from boys.
Her bright green eyes with hues of blue captured my attention at the light, as she said, “Any contenders? Layla? Someone new?”
Sam knew everything. She watched me like a hawk when she was younger and I was around. She'd see how much I loved Layla from afar. She just didn't know how much I lost that battle, and Oliver won the war.
“Layla is currently engaged and pregnant with Oliver’s spawn.”
Her undeniable sound of disgust made it clear she was team Hunter.
“Anyone else?” She was desperate for information. Part of me knew it was just because she didn't want me to end up alone. I grew up in hell, shaped into a demon, and whoever I ended up with had to be okay with going to hell too.
“Maybe. I don't know…” I kept trying to look away from her. She had an uncanny ability to dig up information I tried to bury.
“Tell me! Tell me! Please!”
“Her name is Addi. She's probably on the beach right now. She's never been here.” A small, concealable, smile crept up to my mouth as I imagined Addi on a beach, half naked and making men twist their necks to get another look. The smile faded into slight anger realizing she was probably half naked fending off men. “Wanna meet her?”
Two birds, one stone.
Sam’s eyes got as big as the moon when I offered to introduce her, for my own selfish reasons.
I slid my thumb against my phone and texted her quickly at another red light. I needed a location before I drove beach to beach in a beach town.
Addi: I don't do sand. I'm by the pool.
Me: Don't move. Seriously. Want you to meet someone important.
If I had written “don't move” with no context, she would have moved just to piss me off and set off the game of cat and mouse we play. Sam was beaming, smiling, and even happy dancing in her seat to the music she turned on. I acted as her only parent for most of her life, and seeing me happy was all she wanted from me.
No crutch.
No need.
Just want.
Later that night was the big drop I had to oversee. After I brought Sam home, which was actually hard to do, because I had to practically drag Addi away to get them to stop talking so much in the driveway, even while I had the car idled. I knew I had to break the news to Addi that I had to go alone; she didn't have an invite to this one.
“I'll drop you off at the hotel.”
Her hand landed on my thigh, and she felt like mine for the briefest moment I wanted to prolong. “No, I'm coming with you, Hunter. I don't trust them.”
“Well, no shit. That's why you aren't going. This isn't some movie, Addi. This can go sideways in a real way.”
“Exactly. They all have each other and Hector’s back. Who has yours?” She paused for dramatic fucking effect like a true actress before adding on: “Me.”
I couldn't argue with this girl. She always got her way, one way or another. I couldn't overlook she was normally right, even if I wanted to ignore her intelligence like the rest of the world. I was going in blind, had no one on my side, and couldn't hit up my boys to join without Hector’s clearance.
I was anxiety free, unlike when I met Hector. This was the kind of pressure I thrived in—the kind that compressed people into diamonds and demanded better. I didn’t thrive under the pressure to impress.
I didn't bother heading back to the hotel before the drop. I had to drive to bum fuck nowhere for this drop, and I planned on getting lost a few times. Addi controlled the music, trying to hype us up for something we could plan for, and I had her pull up the directions on her phone.
A modern Bonnie and Clyde.
Two villains falling in love.
The drop sight was exactly like a movie, dark and every bit unsettling. It made me wonder how Addileigh fell into wanting to be an actress, playing a part, all the variables you can’t control. I liked danger, the lure of something the world deems bad for you, but not the vastness of being someone else.
Hector’s idiots were present and accounted for—all armed up and not concealing anything this time. No veil over my eyes. This was what I was in for. All my dangerous behavior had to amount to something: in this case, criminal.
The idiot that followed us from California, Viktor, walked with purpose over to me and didn’t stop until the long barrel of his gun in front of him hit my stomach. He was only inches from my face, and I didn't have to speak his language to know he was pushing my patience.
“What is she doing here, estúpido?”
His scowl was professional grade. “She's with me. Just like your boys are with you.”
He didn't budge, until he realized I was firm and unwavering. Viktor walked away, while talking, and I knew it was directed my way. “The boats will be here in ten minutes. Make sure she stays out of the way. They'll unload. You just stand there and look pretty.”
I didn't hate anything more than being viewed as a pretty face. It wasn't a weapon; it was a burden and distraction. I wanted to be a “do not disturb” sign not a “welcome” sign.
“Look, man… You don't know me. I'm pretty good at what I do.”
He turned to face me, challenging me. “What do you think you do, gringo?”