Ollie stood next to me, begging for someone to test his desire for a fight. “Do we have a problem?”
I laughed, and it spurred on their anger even more. I stood up and shoulder checked the one guy as I did. Ollie wanted a fight? He was gonna get one.
“You’re a fucking asshole.”
That’s all it took for me to be right in his face and my chest pushing against his, hoping I broke his morals as much as mine were broken. “What are you gonna do about it?” I’m sure he could feel my hot breath wretched with the scents of the shots (cinnamon, coconut, espresso…), hitting his face. His fists were balled up, and he swung but missed greatly. I now knew why he watched sports and didn’t play them. Ollie was taking care of his friend, and I didn’t have time to assess the damage happening next to me.
Grabbing a fistful of the material of his shirt, I yanked him closer, after missing his window to land a shot. Everyone had one free shot; after that, it was pound for pound. Before I could land a shot, I felt security’s hands on me, twisting my arm behind my back roughly.
Go ahead. Break it. There’s a clause for that in my contract too. Paid time off is what we call that.
Ollie wasn’t in the mood to be restrained, and luckily one of the security guards recognized me—that turned everything in my favor. “Are these guys bothering you?”
Addi wasn’t the only one with acting chops. I was acting every day of my life, pretending to care when people talked, pretending to a be a saint when my insides were corrupt, pretending to charm my way into someone’s underwear, pretending I wasn’t breaking all the rules by keeping secrets from the people I’m not supposed to do that with.
“It’s cool. Just let them go…” and just like that, I got sucker punched, right in the nose. It wasn’t enough to break anything, but it sure as hell was going to disrupt my pretty features tomorrow with a sizable bruise. I stepped back, holding my hand to my nose, trying to swallow the pain, while I ordered another shot.
Sabrina, my paid date, finally found me, without any real investigation. All we did was go straight and hit the first bar in sight; it wasn’t rocket science. “Caden? What is going on?”
“I warned you. It got ugly.”
She wrapped her arm around my toned back, trying to help me stand up straight, even though I wasn’t that drunk. The minute I stood up from the stool, I felt all the effects suddenly weigh me down, expanding and creating a fullness to everything.
“At least it wasn’t at dinner. Let’s get you back to the room. That’s enough fun for one night.” Her voice was softer than normal, and everything in me hated it. I liked Snow White how she was: independent, strong, anti-bullshit, and anti-me.
“Your room or mine?” The hope between my slurred words was obvious, which I was hoping for.
The way she slanted her eyes was enough of an answer, but if I had her voice, I’d wanna hear myself talk too. “Your room, stud. You’re wasted.”
Ollie wasn’t nosy; he was just always in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now my secret was out. Sabrina wasn’t staying in my room, which set off so many red flags I’m sure he was stunned. “Hold up. No one is leaving Caden in a room by himself while drunk.” He could hold his liquor with more honor, while I was putting too much effort into seeing straight after being sober for a while.
Sabrina didn’t get it, until I laughed without any guilt. Then, she said, “I meant bed. We have two beds in the room.” She tried to save herself, but Ollie was my best friend, who knew better than to trust the word of a girl over my reaction.
The raven-haired beauty next to me, trying to hold me straight when I wasn’t sure I was swaying, was the first girl to not want me—any part of me. Snow White wasn’t going to wake up to a kiss; she was going to wake up for checks and a knight who lost his honor.
Hunter
We settled in Amherst after bouncing from Boston, LA, and Florida, when Addi changed her classes to be all online and rescheduled her theater classes to be next semester with another professor. She was avoiding campus until the scumbag I fucked up in her parent's driveway got fired and it was safe to come back. We both knew it wasn't ever going to be safe. Everyone knew she was a girl getting it on with a professor; they just didn't know who.
Amherst seemed logical until she transferred to Boston University on a whim, because that's what Addi did: whims without apologies. We outgrew Amherst after only being there a month.
Amherst wasn't just in her sister’s shadow, but it was now tainted with her master list mistakes too.
Our apartment was brick, with exposed beams and wires, just like our relationship: raw, real, and not hiding anything anymore.
She saw every layer I hid so well under my resentment and sly smile. She saw every layer and still wanted me. Layla and Jade wanted to pick the parts that best served them, while Addi didn't let any of me go to waste.
On our last trip to LA, Addi gave into my peer pressure and officially found an agency to represent her. There wasn't any real rush or need to wait; it was a limbo in timing until her agency actually came through. They had her audition for Palmer's pilot, which had been picked up by a huge network known for producing buzz worthy shows.
The Best Years
Now with no more fake tan, no more red lipstick, and gray roots to dirty up her platinum perfect hair, she was more herself than ever. She wasn't afraid of comparing herself to anyone anymore. She was Addileigh, and no one could be her.
Now she knew that too.
Addi got the lead role. You guessed it… as Layla. Ironic, huh?
“I couldn't truly be anyone else until I understood who I was. You're the best.”
She plopped down with a giant bowl of popcorn, like we had guests. In reality, this was our secret sanctuary. This was where all the little devilish things we thought and couldn’t live out in the real world came out—the parts of us that didn’t apologize, didn’t care if they labelled us villains, and certainly didn’t live in anyone’s shadow.
“You're right. I am amazing. I should have been a doctor. Damn. I cured your insanity.”
Her small fist collided with my ribs so lightly it almost tickled. “Hey! I'm still psycho, and I know all your secrets. Be careful.”
I lifted my hand enough to let my palm settle on the crown of her head, and I messed up her hair until her mouth dropped open. “Oh my gosh, Addi. I love the new hair!” She didn't need my voice so soaked in sarcasm to understand my point.
This is what we did; we picked and pulled at each other until the skin was taut and all we felt was an undying love.
“Ass! Is this the channel?”
I could feel her nervous energy entering the conversation with her words as she crossed her legs, like she was about to do that funny ass yoga she did every morning. With one eye roll, I tried to lighten the mood before saying, “Yes, Addi, it's the right channel.”
Messing that up wasn't push or pull; it was punishable by death.
The title card came up on the show before anything else and now I was nervous. My wife was playing the girl I used to love, and I was sure they were going to make me the villain, even in a made up world.
I came to peace with it. I was always going to be the villain. The only opinion that truly mattered was Addi’s. I was her superhero, and that was the only truth I needed.