My fingers felt up the material, thankful but silent, when Addi changed the topic completely. “You talked in your sleep again.”
Again? When was the first time?
I specifically didn't allow sleepovers, for any reason. After Layla got engaged to Oliver, I knew trying was over for me, and not even a week later, she was haunting my sleep.
“Saying what?”
I sat down on the bed, trying to care as much as she wanted. All my attention was on this meeting later. I watched her stand up and strut over to her luggage, avoiding eye contact.
“You said, ‘Princess…’ I can only assume that's Layla, because I'm no princess. I'm a madwoman. I mean, seriously… look who I keep as company.”
“Don't talk about her,” I snapped more than I intended to. Everything about me became stiff, except the one part of me I would have been okay with. She was bringing up Layla when she knew she was just as off limits as her married boyfriend.
As she sat on her knees in front of her exploded suitcase, I tried to iron my eyebrows out by avoiding eye contact too.
“Maybe we should, Hunter. She chose Ollie. When are you getting over that?”
My stomach turned to knots, ones made of cast iron, and the weight of them were pushing organs out of the way, suffocating me by making room for the truth—truth I was avoiding. As I stood up abruptly, filled to the brim with anger and now knots multiplying in my stomach, I felt every desire to push her away. That's what I did to everyone: pushed until they were so far out of sight that I couldn't possibly feel guilty about it.
“Do you need me to be over it, Addi? She—” I cut myself off, stumbling when it came to even saying her name.
“Wow... You can't even say her name? Is that how far gone you are?” Her features all spelled mischief, twinkled with a premature win.
“How is fucking someone else's husband? Do you ever taste his wife, while you’re going down on him?”
I watched the premature win fade right into an anger, without the flushing of her bronzed skin. That was under the layers of fake, under her surface, where no one could see.
I thought she was going to explode, erupt like her suitcase had, or at least hit me for testing the boundaries, but she remained still, quiet even. We both maintained the distance between us with only the unmade bed and my suit between us. It felt like we were total strangers, and making any strides to bridge this gap was far too dangerous.
Her voice was almost a whisper: “Yah… sometimes. At least I can admit it.”
She wanted me to admit I wasn't over Layla, more than losing sleep and fleeing Boston did for me.
“Layla.” My voice even sounded gutted when it came to those syllables. “Happy?”
She took a step forward and drug out the last couple before she was right in front of me. “No… I want you to fuck me, until you forget she ever existed.”
I watched her long fingers with fake red nails at the end that matched her lipstick yank off her silk dress she wore to bed. Addi just looked expensive, even standing naked in front of me. I wondered if I could afford her.
“What if I can't forget her?”
Addi was standing in front of me, naked, completely hairless, and groomed to a goddamn T, and I was still wondering if I'd ever forget Layla. She caused more scar tissue than a juvenile detention center or my parents putting me in the middle of their messy divorce.
“I'm gonna try to not take that personally with me standing here naked.”
“I'm not comparing… relax.”
She stepped even closer, close enough to feel the pinch of her hard nipples against my bare chest. She was brewing a storm inside of me—a heat wave, mixing with the existing knots. Her fingernails raked down my chest, leaving thin red lines in their wake. We maintained eye contact and silence perfectly. Her gray eyes were light, almost transparent, even though I couldn't tell what she wanted. I was sure mine were as dark as a stormy sky, conflicted and turned on by her. My gaze dropped lower, making sure my eyes didn’t deceive me.
We had sex before, it wasn’t like this was something new between us. She’d throw out remarks only an ice queen could, and I would strike back, until our lips crashed together. We were explosive, probably toxic by any normal standards, but Addi did things to my dick no one else did.
I watched her sink to her knees in front of me, while my fingers pushed through her hair. Her sly smile outshined her other features easily, when she tugged my boxers down, and I instinctively pushed my hips forward, even though she didn't need help.
With my shoulder blades pressed firmly into the wall, my fingers pushed her head into my crotch, hoping her lips were lined up already.
“Not so fast big guy. I told you I didn't want to hear you say another girl's name...” she trailed off, probably distracted by how much my dick grew in her hand. She planned on getting revenge, even after poking me with not being able to choke out her name. If that wasn't Addi, then I didn't know her at all.
“Put your mouth around me.”
Her hand pushed up my length between us, and I felt my stomach tighten with how good it felt, like when you hold your breath, hoping you can savor the feeling.
Her grip tightened and pushed up my length again, while maintaining eye contact, making my body anxious to feel more. I needed her in a way that wasn't torture or the push and pull we played. I needed more in this moment, and her smirk expanding told me she knew that.
“What do you need?” I watched her red lips move, letting the words glide out, seducing me wildly.
My gaze dropped lower, making sure my eyes hadn't deceived me.
“You... to stop playing around.”
“Tired of our games already?”
In one quick motion, I pulled her up and changed our positions so that her naked body was against the wall instead. She was pushing me to the edge of reason and control. Her arms rested on my shoulders lazily, before I forced them against the wall and pinned them there with my hand. My now pulsing and twitching cock was pushed firmly into her leg.
Pushing my face close to hers, I barked out my words, not bothering to smooth the hard edges. “Games? No. Teasing? Yes. What, your married boyfriend doesn't want you to play with others now?”
Her eyebrows collapsed in the center of her face, just hearing me refer to him. We both had soft spots with names, feelings, and people unwilling to take a chance on us.
“He doesn't control me,” she pressed her hips further into my cock, hoping for relief, but still restrained by my hands.
Her response told me, yes, he knew about me and the sex we'd been having in very public places—restaurants, movies, bathrooms, my car… everywhere but a traditional bed. Now I was forced to love her against a wall or cross a boundary we didn't intentionally set.
I don't know why we hadn't had sex in a bed. I guess that made it seem too real. This was a friendship between two villains with a dash of benefits.
“Doesn't he? He beckons you, and you run.” As my words slipped out, my length pushed inside her with an extra thrust. She was tight and didn't grant access easily. With one hand pinning her hands and my other hand pinning her leg to my hip, I watched her sink into me with her mouth open.
“And I begged you to let me come with you.”