But damn, did it hurt to hear the phrase lapse in judgment. The comment about pushing them into something neither of them wanted—leaving it agonizingly clear it wasn’t what Gavin wanted—was the follow-up gut punch that took her breath away.
It’s never, ever gonna happen. Nothing proved he’d meant it like being unwilling to discuss options or the mere possibility.
Pain spread so fast and far, it felt as though Julie were made up of it entirely. No more oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. Just agony and grief and overwhelming loss.
How does it hurt this bad after one night together? How?
Because you love him, a voice whispered in the back of her mind. Because you always have, and this week…
Even her brain didn’t dare mention it, her defense mechanism refusing to finish the rest.
Julie’s footsteps stuttered, the drag of her shoes in the snow insufferable, and for once, not due to the numbing effects it had on her toes.
Oh no. As dawning spread, those first rays of light illuminated a truth she immediately wished it hadn’t. Perhaps if she prostrated herself on the ground she could soak in enough of the fluffy white frozen stuff that she could numb her entire body and not have to…
Usually she was a huge fan of discovery, but this one nearly took her to her knees. “I’m in love with him.”
Damn her curious nature. And damn her emotions and sensitive feelings and everything that’d caused her to fall in love with her best friend so quickly. She clutched at the spot over her aching heart. Not that it did any good. After how badly Brad hurt her, she’d attempted to put a better wall around her heart, but it crumbled now, gushing out affection, adoration, passion, and desire.
All for Gavin.
A guy who’d been willing to move to another state with Kristin and rent a place together, even though they’d fought the majority of their last year of college. At the end of his first NFL season, Julie had visited them and seen the growing rift. When she brought it up to Gavin, he’d replied that he wasn’t the type to give up on a good thing just because it was hard.
After all of one conversation and a flirting session with that reporter who didn’t live in Texas, he’d considered dating her, mostly deciding against it on account of her job.
Time to face facts. While Gavin insisted she wasn’t boring and seemed to have enjoyed the sex as much as Julie had, if there wasn’t something missing—if he’d felt an inkling of what she had—he’d fight for it.
Julie trudged faster as she turned onto the road leading to town, as if she could escape any of her awful discoveries and the despair that came along with them. Not only that, how could she possibly return to the Frosts’ and face everyone?
Honestly, she wasn’t sure how she could ever talk to Gavin again without bursting into tears, and that meant she’d also ruined their intrinsic friendship.
A car slowed beside her, one not registered to anyone in her family or second family, and she heard the window unroll. Gavin wasn’t behind the wheel, and as irrational as it was, that somehow pushed the pain deeper.
It wasn’t unusual to see a familiar face around town. However, Kory’s was the last one she expected to see. In a lot of ways, their rocky date seemed like weeks ago instead of last weekend.
“Need a ride?” he asked.
“More like a destination.” Thankfully, her voice only wavered a little.
“We can find one of those.”
Against her better judgment, she glanced back the way she came, only to find a whole lot of stark white nothing.
Ugh. She’d been the melodramatic person she claimed not to be, storming out like that, but her pride wouldn’t let her take it back.
The first couple minutes of the ride ticked by in silence. She’d always appreciated people who allowed her time to gather her thoughts. While she was considering which parts of this week she’d undo, she supposed she should return to the night of her date with Kory and try harder.
The fissure in her heart yawned, enough misery glugging out that she supposed it wouldn’t have mattered. Which led to another conclusion: she’d never be able to consider anyone else with Gavin around.
So hooray for living in different states. A fresh wave of tears formed, and no amount of blinking could keep them at bay.
“I don’t know what to say,” Kory said, and Julie sniffed.
“That makes two of us. Sorry. This is twice I’ve crashed your holiday vacation.”
“I wouldn’t put it like that.” He glanced across the car and sighed. “Does this have anything to do with your parents and the Frosts’ plan to get you and Gavin together?”
Everything inside her froze. “You knew about that?” Confusion blurred her whirring thoughts. “Why on earth would you have dinner with me if you knew there wasn’t any point?”
“Well, that sorta was the point. Plus, I’m a fan of dinner.”
How could someone who’d barely moved here be in on their Reverse-Parent-Trap Plan? She grimaced, and then tugged on the thread so she could finish unraveling the whole messy picture. “Did they bribe you to take me out?”
“Before we get into the nitty-gritty, I just want to say that when they first posed the idea, I was against it.”
That blow sufficiently shattered her sense of self and everything she’d foolishly thought she’d overcome this trip. “So yes.”
“Not exactly. They did give me a gift card to pay, but they said they already had it so…” Kory shrugged and affected a sheepish expression that left her unsure who to aim her ire at.
Her parents? The Frosts? Gavin? The whole freaking town and their obsession with coupling people together?
Kory slowed for a stop sign. “I really stepped in it this time, didn’t I?”
Julie crossed her arms. While she would’ve liked to believe she was scary enough to get answers that way, presumably it was the red-rimmed eyes that did Kory in.
“Your mom and Darlene were asking me how I was single, and I told them that every woman I dated realized she was in love with her best friend. Same way I was beginning to realize I’m in love with mine.” He adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. “They both seemed so excited about the news, which seemed odd, but most of the people I’ve met from this town are kinda…” He winced. “Sorry. I tend to put my foot in my mouth a lot.”
“No worries. I do it all the time. Plus, we are an odd lot—my family and second family, especially.”
“They asked me to take you out, keep things light, and report in if anything went off-book. I think they also thought it would make Gavin jealous.”