Ambling closer, Geo caught sight of her standing at the water’s edge, her arms crossed over her rounded middle. The gentle wind teased her hair, lifting it, then dropping it, her profile serene as she gazed out at the setting sun.
“Are you sure about this?” he called to her. “You’ve been there, done that, got the T-shirt, remember?”
She turned to face him. “Well, you know, that was a different T-shirt. I don’t have this one yet.”
“The fabric’s pretty much the same, though. What’s going to make this one different?”
She took a step toward him. “Because this time I’ll ask for help if I need it instead of trying to take the weight of the world on my shoulders.” Another step. “I won’t make you responsible for my happiness.” Another step. “I’m going to continue my therapy, my grief group, so when stuff pops up that scares me, that makes me want to shut down—and it will—I’ll have the tools to deal with it so I don’t hurt you like that again.”
Geo gazed over her shoulder at the ocean, aware of her eyes steady on his face.
“What about you?” she asked softly. “Are you sure you’re ready for this package deal?”
He opened his mouth to tell her that he was, then snapped it shut. If there was anything she deserved, it was as honest an answer as she’d given him.
“I think I am. I want to be.” Dropping his backpack to the sand, he said, “A husband and father isn’t anything I ever saw myself as, for a lot of reasons.”
She bit her lip. “Do you think you’ll be able to love the baby? I mean, because it’s—”
“Because it’s not mine? Lani, it’s a part of you, so loving the baby isn’t the issue. It’s just, the thought of me ever letting you down is—” Suddenly he was blinking back tears of his own.
“You will, sooner or later.” Her voice was quiet. “Just like I’ll eventually let you down, because neither of us is perfect.”
She was close enough to touch now, so Geo reached out to stroke her cheek with his fingertips, whispering, “The only thing I can promise is that you’ll get the best version of me I can possibly be.”
“What more could I ask for?” Sliding her arms up around his neck, she drew his head down to kiss him gently. “I promise the same.”
“Then I’m the luckiest man alive.” Geo deepened the kiss, their tongues dueling lightly before their lips separated with a lush smack. “I love you.” He rested a hand on her tummy. “Both of you.”
Smoothing her hands along his shoulders, she said, “You’re going to be an amazing father.”
Hearing it said out loud, he froze, and the panicked look that must have crossed his face made her giggle. “Well, not tomorrow, at least,” she said drily. “You have a little time to really get used to the idea.”
“How much—” He cleared his throat and tried again. “How much time?”
“Four months, give or take.”
He breathed out a shaky sigh of relief, then panic surged again. “Oh, God. I don’t know how to change a diaper, or fix a bottle, or soothe it when it cries.” He dropped his arms from around her. “Um, are you sure about this?”
“Completely sure.” Grabbing his hand, Lani started towing him back across the sand. “We’ll learn together. You think I know how to do any of that?”
“You mean you don’t?”
“Nope. We’re on equal footing here, Daddy.”
The jolt of fear lasted maybe another dozen steps before it drained away.
Daddy.
“I’m gonna be a daddy,” he breathed, a dizzying mix of joy, wonder and trepidation swirling through him. He planted his feet. “Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?”
“I’m supposed to find out next week.” Swinging around to face him, she asked, “You think you’ll be able to come to the appointment with me?”
Geo shook his head. “No.” He watched her carefully. “I’m leaving soon for Langley. After that, I’m not sure where we’re going or when I’ll be back.”
“Aw, shit.” Her eyes showed the merest flicker of disappointment before she smiled. “Well, there’s our first dose of reality, I guess.” She threaded her arm through his as they started walking again. “Okay, listen up. I’m gonna find out, but I swear I will not tell anyone until I tell you first, even if we have to do it over FaceTime.”
“I’ll move heaven and earth to be there if I possibly can.”
The quiet fervor in his voice made her press her cheek to his shoulder. “I know you will,” she said. “And if you can’t, I’ll be fine. We’ll make it work.”
“We’ll make it work,” he repeated softly.
They’d reached his bike by then, and Lani turned into his arms, her own twining around his neck. “Go pack your stuff and then come home?”
His heart so full he could barely speak, Geo kissed her gently. He danced her back toward her car, not wanting to let her go, and leaned in through the driver’s window for more kisses as she started the engine.
“Bye.” Smack. “Love you.” Smack. “Hurry.” Smack.
At last he forced himself to step away with a lovesick sigh, and after she’d driven off, he picked up the I’M SORRY sign that had blown against his front tire, tore it down the middle and stuffed it in a nearby trash can.
As he pulled on his helmet, his phone buzzed with a text. Hey, dude. Meet us for a beer?
Can’t, he replied, then straddled his bike and fired it up, contentment and the promise of happiness stretching his lips into a grin.
’Cause I’m headed home.
Epilogue
Two years later
“Come on, bud. Let’s go wake Mama.”
Some scuffling and giggling at the doorway, and Lani buried her face in her pillow, hiding her smile. She feigned sleep as footsteps toddled toward the bed, little fists grabbing onto the mattress next to her.
“Mama, up.”
With a loud pretend yawn, she rolled to her other side, away from Aidan, who said again, “Mama, up!”
Her shoulders shook with laughter when Geo scooped him from the floor and whispered, “I know what’ll wake her up. Ready?” He plopped Aidan down next to her, and then with a shout did a giant belly-flop onto the bed.
Aidan shrieked as he was bounced several inches into the air. Lani grabbed him to pepper his face with kisses. “You surprised me!” she declared. “You woke me up!”