The room seemed too quiet. Nick was lying on his back again, but I heard him put his phone down on the nightstand when I got in bed.
“Am I being a tease?” I asked suddenly.
“No. Why would you think that?”
“Because I wouldn’t blame you for thinking so. I wanted to be up-front and honest with you. It’s not that I don’t want to . . . you know. It’s that I am worried I’d be doing it for the wrong reasons. And I’m worried there’d be no turning back once we . . . did.”
He chuckled. I twitched when his warm hand pressed into my shoulder, squeezing gently. “It’s sexy how you’re a formidable businesswoman on one hand, but you’re also too shy to say sex. You’re worried there’d be no turning back once we had sex? I’m not going to lie. I have no idea what would happen, but I know what I’m hoping would happen.”
“What?” I asked.
“I’m hoping it won’t be the last time.”
I smiled, even though he couldn’t see it. “I guess that’s a step in the right direction. At least you’re not planning on the old ‘hit it and forget it’ strategy that seemed to be your MO lately.”
“That wasn’t what it probably looked like. I watched my brothers pair off and saw how happy it made them. Then when I looked in the mirror, I saw how much I wanted it. I wanted somebody who could make me feel like Kira and Iris make my brothers feel. Whole, I guess. And I didn’t actually sleep with any of those women I dated the past few months. In case you were wondering.”
I smiled to myself even more at that. “I might’ve wondered a little bit. Why not?”
“Whether I realized it or not, I think I only ever wanted you.”
I swallowed hard at that. As much as my brain wanted to accept all the things he was saying, it was too much to process all at once. “You said you wanted to feel whole,” I said slowly. “But how do you know you’re not just shoving something in the empty spot? What if it’s shaped like a square, and I’m a triangle? How would you know?”
He laughed. “I think I’d know if I tried to shove a triangle inside a square-shaped hole.”
I groaned. “Okay. Bad example. What if I’m a small circle, and you have a big circular hole in you?”
“A big circular hole, huh?”
I turned around so I could swat at his arm. I wasn’t ready for the sight of him lying so close beside me, though. “Can you stop acting like Cade for a second and take me seriously?”
“I am—sorry,” Nick said. “I’ll admit I’m a little distracted right now. You just smell so damn good.”
I licked my lips. “Yeah, well, stop smelling me and listen.”
He grinned. “Okay. I’m listening. No more sniffing, I promise.”
“I’m just saying, How do you know we’re a good fit? What if it’s just a good-enough fit?”
Nick had a funny look on his face.
“What?” I asked.
“I shouldn’t. You told me to be serious.”
I sighed. “Just get it out of your system.”
“I was going to say there’s only one way to find out if I’ll fit, and I think we’d both enjoy the experience.”
I rolled my eyes. “Having good sex wouldn’t mean we’re compatible.”
“Then why do you seem so afraid of trying it?”
“Because I don’t want to get confused. I want to know this isn’t a mistake.”
“If people got to know whether a relationship was a mistake or not before they tried, it wouldn’t be much fun. Would it?”
I closed my eyes and curled up until my head was against his chest. “Most guys can’t hurt me like you could. The moment I stop holding back, I’d be giving you the power to do that again.”
He stroked my hair slowly, sending shivers down my neck. “I’d never hurt you. Never again.”
“I believe you,” I said.
I let the slow, gentle pattern of his fingertips against my scalp pull me closer to sleep. It felt good lying with him. It felt right. And if I bought into his stupid analogy, it felt a whole lot like a medium-size circle fitting into a medium-size circular hole. But it still felt like I was waiting for something—some sign that it was time to take the final step. I knew one thing: I needed to find a way to tell him about Robbie’s job offer. I didn’t want Nick to think I was considering it or trying to use it to gain leverage, though. I’d need to make sure I chose my words carefully and found the right timing. Easier said than done.
Chapter 18
NICK
Miranda and I spent the morning completely ignoring work, which was starting to feel like business as usual on this trip. After we had breakfast in my room, we took an unofficial tour of Julian Ridge. We played a round of bowling so bad that one of the employees at the alley had to ask if we wanted bumpers in the gutters. After bowling, we watched a screening of Die Hard in the theater.
It wasn’t until we’d sat down in a little pizza café around lunchtime that our conversation finally took a turn toward the business.
Miranda was still wearing my shirt from last night, and she had stopped by her room only to grab a pair of shorts in place of the sweatpants I’d picked for her. More than once, I’d wondered if she was wearing the red, lacy thong I’d picked out for her too. In uncharacteristic fashion, she hadn’t even stopped to do her makeup or spend more than a few seconds throwing her hair in a ponytail. It was the most natural I’d seen her. Considering she normally used perfection like a wall to keep everyone at arm’s length, seeing her like this felt like a sort of private invitation into her world.
I leaned back in my chair and took a sip of beer. “I’ve never had this much trouble focusing on work.”
She smiled, then popped a bite of pizza in her mouth. “I’ll take that as a compliment. But I’m in the same boat. Before you, I don’t think I ever went a full hour without thinking about my career, let alone a few days. It has actually been nice. But I did think of something the other day. I was just too pissed at you to want to talk about it at the time.”
I laughed. “Was it around the time of Max Frost?”
“Yes, and your jealous explosion.”
“Are you implying I didn’t have a right to be jealous?”
“No. I think I’m actually glad you were. It was like a wake-up call. Before that, I really believed you didn’t have any feelings for me. Once I saw the way you acted when I showed up with Max, I wasn’t so sure anymore. But I guess I was too much of a chicken to talk to you about it.”
“So,” Nick said. “What was it you were too pissed to tell me?”
“That Bark Bites might not just have failed because of some shady accounting tactics. Sure, it still seems like somebody was screwing with the finances, but we could just hire a new staff if we can’t find out who. But maybe the problem is bigger than that. I’ve been watching everyone here with their dogs. What if the problem is that Bark Bites aimed too small? What if it was an all-inclusive, dog-friendly resort, like a Julian Ridge of our own, but amped up in every way to make it dog friendly? A dog movie theater, bowling alleys with lanes for dogs, and everything else you could think about.”